Aspergers is not an excuse.

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Several years ago, there was a thread topic about autism and vacation preferences, so I posted mine. Well, apparently, I was just having too much fun as an Aspie or was seen as too high-functioning or something ... So my post was simply deleted by some moderator or other without any advance warning to me. I never found out who deleted it nor was I given any explanation. So I left WP for a rather long time ... several years, I think. During that time, I frequented forums where I felt more comfortable and free sharing my more creative side and who I am.

I would probably be more popular around here if I posted more about my struggles, failures, and the negative things that happen in my life ... But you know what? I prefer to focus on the good things. The bad is really nobody else's business.

I have, along the way, learned to keep the really extraordinarily good news, as well as the really bad news, about myself hidden, private, and not to be shared here on Wrong Planet ... except in a Private Message to someone I trust.

So if I come across as guarded sometimes ... yes, there's a reason for it.

And yes, life is short ... best to use the time wisely.

That said, ashbashbeard, congratulations. I do sincerely hope you'll be ok.
It's not a personal attack against you, but more like a rant because the title itself and the "using AS as an excuse" part was very triggering.

I think it might be a good idea to create a dedicated forum on this site for autistic success stories and approaches that autistics use to get through life, together with a policy that disallows invalidation and negative comments. In such a forum it would be nice if readers had functionality to tag/rate posts with "a similar approach works for me as well", "sound's great, I'll give that a try", and "well done". This kind of functionality would encourage constructive comments and discourage the opposite.

Over time we would end up with an extremely useful collection of approaches that work well – at least for some autistics – based on first hand accounts. This would be a first step towards an autistic culture.

A dedicated forum may be essential to weed out invalidation and toxic commentary. Anyone who is currently in a bad state then has the option to ignore the "success stories" forum, and avoid feelings of frustration.

Lastly, members should still be encouraged to post positive stories on other forums, but depending on the state of mind of some readers, there will always be some risk of attracting toxic feedback.

. I was also told to stop using my condition as an excuse by a professor in college (I filed a discrimination complaint). I!

Were you registered with your College's disability unit? normally academic staff would need to be aware of your disability status beforehand. Otherwise he might have thought you were fabricating to get an extension for an assignment.

I'm glad for you that you have been successful in life. However, please do not preach at other members and tell them that they should do the same as you and get a job, etc.

If you had titled your post "some good news" or "my personal life is looking up" I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. But you have chosen to come on here and preach at a group of struggling people and tell them that their disability is not an "excuse" citing your own personal success as a justification for urging others to follow your example.

I take issue with that, because autism is a spectrum. It does not affect all people in the same way.

Just because you were able to achieve your life goals doesn't mean that all other autistic people will be able to. We are all different with different levels of functioning and different abilities or lack thereof. You have no idea what trials other people face, nor are you aware of their life circumstances nor the specific ways their autism affects them. Some of us are very tired indeed of NTs preaching at us, scolding us, blaming us and accusing us of not trying hard enough or using autism as an "excuse". The last thing we want is to come on here and find a fellow Aspie preaching at us as well and playing the blame game.

Some of us are much older than you and have struggled for MANY years in the workplace only to have nervous breakdowns / end up homeless / be taken away to mental hospitals and locked up against our will.

There may be some using their Asperger's as what you refer to as an "excuse" for not having a job / not being socially successful, but most of us are citing it as a genuine REASON, not an excuse.

I CAN'T GO TO WORK BECAUSE I HAVE HAD NUMEROUS NERVOUS BREAKDOWNS and was taken away to a psychiatric hospital and locked up against my will and have been deemed very seriously disabled.

You are still young. I remember my youthful optimism at your age, thinking "if I can just find the right job for me, everything will be OK." But it wasn't.

f you were about 40 or 50 and had been fired from numerous consecutive jobs and bullied by your workmates every single day for decades and lost your girlfriend and endured a bout of homelessness and had a few nervous breakdowns and been denied proper help from any doctors and had been blamed all your life for all your problems and never even got a diagnosis until you were about 40 or 50, you wouldn't be coming here preaching at others with that youthful enthusiasm.

If you had given your thread a different title and worded your final paragraph like this:

"The point of all of this is that despite any hurdles in life and my AS, it *is* possible to achieve my goals. I have resolved to never use my AS as an excuse, but as a tool to reach my goals. It is hard, gruelling and I have had bad moments, but it is worth it in the end"

then I wouldn't have a problem with it. But you didn't. You chose to conclude that, just because YOU have been successful, there is no excuse for ALL people with Asperger's not to be successful as well.

Pardon me, but that is a highly offensive thing to say. Some of us are VERY SERIOUSLY struggling in life and are going through things you have never had to endure. Some of us are suicidal. Some of us have been very abused. Some have not had the benefit of supportive parents (or indeed ANY parents). Some of us are homeless or have been homeless. Some of us are doped up on drugs with horrible side-effects, but cannot function without them. Some of us are TOTALLY DIFFERENT TO YOU, and pointing that out is not an "excuse". It is merely a FACT.

You have told people to "use AS as a tool to reach their goals"

What a very bland, PC thing to say.

A debilitating condition like AS is not going to be a "tool" to help somebody get a job.

The majority of jobs are not suited to people with AS, and the majority of people with AS are not able to remain in employment. That is a statistical fact.

Of course there are exceptions. Many people with AS find ways to use their personal strengths and creativity to come up with unique business ideas. Alex is a shining example. He made this website. But he is the exception, not the rule.

Yes I was registered with the disability support services at the school. I was not requesting an extension on an assignment and have never done this. I have written about this in other posts, but the issue was that I was trying to do a student teaching internship and I had issues understanding what was expected and with numerous other things. Every accommodation I asked for they said was unreasonable, and all I wanted was clear, detailed expectations to be laid out. The program director hates me and she wanted to make it as hard as possible so I wouldn't graduate. I just found out that the discrimination complaint I filed was rejected. They said that the professor did nothing wrong and they can't change the requirements for disabled persons. Total BS. Just another case of aspies being crapped on and not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Besides attributing success to luck, there is also a tendency on wp to blame everything that goes wrong in one's life on autism.
All bad things are caused by autism, never by oneself.
Lack of progress is due entirely to autism, never to oneself.
I believe that autism can and sometimes does make significant contributions to things that go wrong in one's life, problems with people, lack of progress, etc.
But just as one's own actions and decisions make big contributions to successes and dealing well with problems in life, so does these make big contributions to failures and creating or continuing problems.