Question about the 'friendzone'

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arthur_arcturus
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29 Sep 2016, 5:58 pm

Overwhelmingly whether a woman has a boyfriend or hasn't a boyfriend carries no weight. The only things that weigh are her emotional states and his ability to create those in her. If he's got enough game she will later rationalize it in all sorts of ways.



Soulsparrer
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02 Oct 2016, 8:44 pm

Basically my take on the "friendzone" is this:

Some guys try to be friends with a girl they like hoping that one day she'll see that they're the "right one" for them (sometimes the sexes might be reversed too), this is an unrealistic trope that has been played to death on romantic comedies.

Basically it's unrealistic; when you first meet a girl there will be signs early on whether she's into you or not, and if she isn't then it's very unlikely she'll ever come around (the exception might be if she was initially into the guy, and the guy was too shy to "make a move" but she happened to stick around, and sometime later it happened).

Likewise the idea that there's only "one single person you're pre-destined to fall in love with" is an unrealistic Hollywood trope; basically there's more of a "range" of people you're potentially compatible with, and being obsessed over one person, especially one who doesn't feel that way about you isn't healthy and leads to a desperate or clingy mindset.



AspergianMutantt
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02 Oct 2016, 8:58 pm

The last two women I err met, one I could tell her type right off the bat, she just wanted to be friends and only got friendly when she wanted something, like money she never intended to pay back, trying to use her sex without giving sex to manipulate men into giving her what she wanted. the other woman, as soon as I moved into the area she was coming over allot, saying her husband was always off traveling and just wanted the company, nothing sexual, then when her husband called she let him know she was over at my home visiting (which she started to do allot), and I told her to please stop doing that because her husband was going to start getting jealous and I wanted no part of that, she said if he couldn't trust her then thats his problem, only later to find out (when he got back home) that she has been trying to make him jealous to try and get him to come home sooner and not leave as much for his long hauls he done for work, and next thing I knew he was in my face trying to pick a fight, and I was like slow down man, I been telling your wife to back off and that I didn't want any part of this, he didn't listen, but thankfully they soon moved afterwards.


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AngryAngryAngry
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03 Oct 2016, 6:36 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss_snxspFj8
The absolutely best explanation of the friendzone - and it's by a woman.



Soulsparrer
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03 Oct 2016, 8:06 pm

Don't see why it's so complicated, it just means a woman likes being friends with a guy but isn't romantically interested in him, like a 'brother/sister' type of relationship.



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03 Oct 2016, 10:44 pm

Soulsparrer wrote:
Don't see why it's so complicated, it just means a woman likes being friends with a guy but isn't romantically interested in him, like a 'brother/sister' type of relationship.

Actually I think it originally meant that when a woman starts seeing you as a friend she will never change her perspective and you will be romantically/sexually invisible to her without the possibility of it changing, or at least it is very rare.
Sometimes now it can even mean a malevolent intent of the chased who takes advantage of the chaser, like in AspergianMutantt's post.

Brother/sister-zone is a stronger version of the friendzone. I am so pro that once I actually managed to get not-brother-zoned... :scratch: That was really insane.



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04 Oct 2016, 2:19 am

AngryAngryAngry wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss_snxspFj8
The absolutely best explanation of the friendzone - and it's by a woman.

See women want the guy they like to be distant and act like he could care less about them.
It's hard for me to do that though :(



Alliekit
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04 Oct 2016, 2:30 am

sly279 wrote:
AngryAngryAngry wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss_snxspFj8
The absolutely best explanation of the friendzone - and it's by a woman.

See women want the guy they like to be distant and act like he could care less about them.
It's hard for me to do that though :(


She is frankly shallow and a bit of a muppet. Please don't lump me in with her.

I'd see being distant as uninterest and therefore not worth my time



sly279
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04 Oct 2016, 3:02 am

Alliekit wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AngryAngryAngry wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss_snxspFj8
The absolutely best explanation of the friendzone - and it's by a woman.

See women want the guy they like to be distant and act like he could care less about them.
It's hard for me to do that though :(


She is frankly shallow and a bit of a muppet. Please don't lump me in with her.

I'd see being distant as uninterest and therefore not worth my time


I'm confused. Which is it is being distant good or is being clingy?

Why irgnore texts if able to answer.
I'm not good wit all these mind games expect d of guys :cry:

Sorry I never meant to lump you in with anyone.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Oct 2016, 4:41 am

In my area, I am used to be war-zoned at any unexpected crazy moment.



Peacesells
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04 Oct 2016, 4:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
In my area, I am used to be war-zoned at any unexpected crazy moment.

What does it mean?



Alliekit
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04 Oct 2016, 8:52 am

sly279 wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AngryAngryAngry wrote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss_snxspFj8
The absolutely best explanation of the friendzone - and it's by a woman.

See women want the guy they like to be distant and act like he could care less about them.
It's hard for me to do that though :(


She is frankly shallow and a bit of a muppet. Please don't lump me in with her.

I'd see being distant as uninterest and therefore not worth my time


I'm confused. Which is it is being distant good or is being clingy?

Why irgnore texts if able to answer.
I'm not good wit all these mind games expect d of guys :cry:

Sorry I never meant to lump you in with anyone.


There aren't mind games expected of guys.

We just want people who aren't either of the 2 extremes. Just do what works for you. Some girls like clingy some like distant. You can't make yourself an ideal to women because no such thing exists.

I personally like being cuddle and hanging out with my partner but also enj9y time to myself while my friend likes to spend time away from her partner. She still lives him but it's what works for them.

I never understood this wait to respond cr**. Although I do try to follow the no more that 2 texts immediately after each other. But that's more because otherwise I don't give the chance for someone to respond.



sly279
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04 Oct 2016, 1:50 pm

Doesn't seem to be a middle ground between distant or clingy
I like to be around my love a lot and text her through out the day?
Why is that considered clingy :(
I like time to play my games or read we. Add that to the 10-12 hours I'm at work or transit to work and it doesn't leave much time. Probably only one day a weeek to see her in person.

I dont know I get excited when I get text from the lady so I tend to reply right away :cry:



Alliekit
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04 Oct 2016, 2:07 pm

sly279 wrote:
Doesn't seem to be a middle ground between distant or clingy
I like to be around my love a lot and text her through out the day?
Why is that considered clingy :(
I like time to play my games or read we. Add that to the 10-12 hours I'm at work or transit to work and it doesn't leave much time. Probably only one day a weeek to see her in person.

I dont know I get excited when I get text from the lady so I tend to reply right away :cry:


That is in no way clingy. You are worrying too much about it trust me.

My fiance texts me on every break he gets at work and always calls me after. It's the same with many couples I know. In fact one a week is definitely not clingy in the slightest, she will probably want to see you more ;)