What in the world is "adult relationship" supposed to mean?

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Pretty much since I was also enough to understand what dating was---but especially in the last eight years---I heard people talk with foam at the mouth about an "adult relationship". Be it wanting one, actively looking for one, or currently being in one. About how an "adult relationship" is the be all and end all, the ultimate goal, the alpha and omega. Along with trashing people who dislike the idea of it. It's usually women who did this, but the term is largely gender-neutral. (Sometimes, the synonym "mature relationship" was used, but it referred to the exact same thing.)

So what is the world is "adult relationship" supposed to actually mean? Probably not literally, as in "relationship between two people 18 or older", considering how the term was coined by non-literal-minded NTs. (As contrasted with a "teenage relationship" between two high schoolers.) Probably not in way it's used in media ratings, to mean there is sex involved. (After all, teenagers have sex too nowadays.) Then what?

If my aspie understanding of the term "adult relationship" is anywhere near correct, then it means this: once an "adult relationship" begins, all fun must end immediately and permanently, and something else must replace it. All this is ironic: when I was a kid, I viewed anything "adult" as an endless battery of hedonistic pleasure. An now, I feel a sense of dread when pairing it with the word "relationship". (But not, for example, the word "video". ) I remember my parents' marriage being like that when I was growing up, and I'm seeing the same thing in my friends' LTR's now. All of whom, I suppose, have very adult relationships.

Let's treat this like a dictionary, to understand the term better. We already have an synonym: it's "mature relationship". So what would an antonym of "adult relationship" be? Fun relationship? Teenage relationship? Carefree relationship? None of these make good antonyms, it seems. Help me out here, folks.

Fortunately, I'm currently friends with a 22-year-girl I recently met. Even though we flirt constantly, we're still just friends. Which means she can introduce me to girls close to her age. With whom a relationship, adult or otherwise, will quite likely be more pleasant, even though they're as much adults as I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can see myself enjoying an "adult relationship" when I'm 55 or older, but absolutely not before then. By then, my 22-year-old friend will be 44, and hopefully, will motivate me to keep some of my younger interests. (Jury is still out on her husband's age and interests.)

Who is saying this to you btw? I always thought that guys were given a free pass to be footloose and fancy free bachelor boys.

No one in my life is pressuring me to have a relationship.

So I'm just curious. You seem to need to vent about it a lot. Is it pressure you're putting on yourself? Do you see others lives and does the bafflement turn to annoyance that they don't understand the way you live.

You need to be you. You can't be anyone else.

Idk adult relationship to me implies more emotional maturity and for it to be more real. A lot of relationships people have when they're younger (my own pasts ones included) are more frivolous and lack proper communication. When you're in an adult relationship I feel like that's when you're both more ready for something truly serious, even if it isn't settling down or moving in together.

That's just my opinion. I'm in what I'd consider an "adult relationship" right now and I'm very happy with it.

My personal take on it is that an adult relationship is when you find someone you want to stay with. It's serious in the way of being something you don't want to let go of. Serious doesn't have to mean no fun. It just means it's not just shagging. There's more to it.

Unfortunately a lot of people try and have adult relationships with the wrong person. They do it because they reach an age where they think they're Meant to settle down.

But with the wrong person it's a difficult struggle. I mean all relationships have ups and downs, nothing is perfect, but the wrong person makes it so much more difficult.

What's really ironic, is what when I was 18---nowhere near "adult" maturity, outside of legal documents---I wanted an "adult relationship" more than anything. All just like hurtloam described: fully dedicating myself to my girlfriend, and intending to stay with her for years. Was she a wrong person? Definitely so. I didn't find her attractive, and found myself bored with her very quickly (she didn't like going out and exploring, like I did). But I kept seeing her anyway, until the relationship fell apart a few months later. She must have picked up on my hidden resentment somehow. My social awkwardness too, I presume.

The reason for my feelings is that I "knew" that no one else will ever like me again, so settling down with this girl seemed like the right thing to do. Not to mention I lacked the social skills needed to find casual relationships, which are more common in college, so I settled for a serious relationship instead. Even before I met her, I somehow thought a committed relationship, as opposed to a fling, would be easier to find, and even trained myself to want one.

Today, I did a complete 180: I'm terrified of "adult relationships", very thing I once desired.

Well, you had a bad experience. It's like when someone meets an angry dog when they're young and then all dogs become potentially vicious, even the fun, affectionate ones.

I don't know what the way around this is. I think you'd be happy with the right person. Someone spontaneous who likes going on trips and visiting interesting places.

Some people are just happy with mundane things and that's OK. Some people want a bit more adventure in life and that's OK too.

It sucks when you feel different to the people around you. I feel like that sometimes. I want to have a more active lifestyle. But no.one seems to want to do anything anymore. My friends are getting old, but I'm still wanting to go out and explore. There are parts of England I've never been to. I'd like to visit the hills of Derbyshire or maybe the Highlands of Scotland or the outer Hybrides or even Iceland or Norway.

^ Social life stops when most of your friends get married.

Couples do things together.

That's another ugly consequence of chronic singleness.