Why did others mock me?

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Spiderpig
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27 Sep 2016, 12:26 am

It's called religious freedom.

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Marknis
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27 Sep 2016, 1:29 am

Spiderpig wrote:

It's called religious freedom.

Only for them. They think anyone non-Christian is the scum of the Earth.

The Grand Inquisitor
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27 Sep 2016, 10:02 pm

Marknis wrote:

A considerable contingency of this website is comprised of people older than 18 who have been single all their lives. I can understand how someone younger than them, venting their frustrations about being single could make them self-conscious of their own struggles with being single. It would be comparable to a person who's broken their leg complaining about their mobility issues to a person who's paralysed from the neck down. Kinda rubbing salt in the wound, if you know what I mean.

Marknis wrote:

This didn't help me at all. It made me even more depressed and ten years later I still haven't escaped the vicious cycle I've been trapped in. If I had been given more supportive posts, I think my life would've gone in a better direction.

I really doubt this one thread you made on the internet had the capacity to impact your life so much. Whilst I agree that people who were tempted to talk down to you should have refrained from doing so, you have to understand that the demographic here isn't that of advisers/love experts. Like I said, there are many other members here who are struggling with love too, and it's hard to be supportive of someone else when you're dealing with a more severe manifestation of the same problem.

Marknis
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28 Sep 2016, 4:06 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:

It wasn't just thread. There were multiple ones and it was actually the ones who were in relationships who attacked me the most.

arthur_arcturus
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29 Sep 2016, 5:36 pm

Often times people don't want to hear your problems if and when they feel that it would be reasonable for them to be concerned and offer help. They are just too lazy. So paradoxically parents are the most likely to dismiss any problems you may have. A person who dismisses your problems should be given a second chance (here you have to be expressive and state very clearly that you are in distress and it's a feeling and you can't help it) - but if that is their modus operandi, then you should not consider them allies for the future and it would be futile to verbalize any more complaints.

ShyGirl7
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15 Sep 2017, 4:45 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

the_phoenix wrote:

I once had a "boyfriend" who tried to blame me because I didn't like him back. He claimed that he was getting depressed because of me, and starting to fail his courses. He wrote me a letter telling me this, and even worse stuff.

I think I finally ended up telling him that he didn't need a girlfriend, he needed a therapist.
Or maybe I didn't tell him. Because it was his problem to deal with, really.

He was about 18 years old, old enough to be an adult and take responsibility for his own feelings.

That's called gas lighting. Blaming other people for everything instead of accepting that maybe you have responsibility for at least some of your life.

That's not what Gaslighting is.

Gaslighting is causing someone to question their own sanity or intelligence.

Like if you walk outside and know the sky is blue, but everyone tells you the sky is green.

That's Gaslighting.

SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 4:58 pm

Marknis wrote:

the_phoenix wrote:

Marknis wrote:

The people in the culture I was born into have shaped up the surroundings to keep people like me out.

Join the club. (Yes, irony ...) It's human nature to form cliques.

Marknis wrote:

They made it to where I couldn't make a choice at all.

Only way I've gotten anywhere in life is by making the choice that I was worth it, then taking steps towards what I wanted to accomplish ... and standing up and fighting for myself when the need arose.

The thing with the Bible Belt cliques is that they are extremely sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, and anti-intellectual. They insist their way of doing things is the right way and if you don't agree with them, you must be a "commie liberal fa***t transgender atheist satanist evolutionist foreigner". I couldn't make this up if I tried. They also control local politics and businesses.

Ok dude. I'm black trans and live in the bible belt its not that f*****g bad. If you want to have a serious discussion about your life and where you went wrong and how to fix it we can do that. Or you can continue this pity party of a thread that isn't going to help you with anything.

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ShyGirl7
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15 Sep 2017, 5:01 pm

the_phoenix wrote:

Why didn't you tell him that you weren't his girlfriend right from the get-go?

It makes it sound like you were stringing him along.

the_phoenix wrote:

You will notice the word "boyfriend" was in quotes.
This is because he considered himself to be my boyfriend.
The truth was, he was too much of a coward to even ask me out.
The whole situation was really strange, the guy was a stalker.
When I first met him right at the beginning, I thought he might be okay at least as a friend ...

If he literally walked around saying he was your boyfriend but never asked you out, that makes him sound like an idiot, not crazy.

On the other hand, if he considered himself your boyfriend and went places with you, why would he need to verbally ask you out, since you technically going places together anyway?

Declaring himself to be your boyfriend would take just as much guts as him asking you out.

the_phoenix wrote:

when I found out what he was really like, I didn't want him in my life at all.

What was he like, that made him so terrible?

ShyGirl7
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15 Sep 2017, 5:03 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

Marknis wrote:

the_phoenix wrote:

Marknis wrote:

The people in the culture I was born into have shaped up the surroundings to keep people like me out.

Join the club. (Yes, irony ...) It's human nature to form cliques.

Marknis wrote:

They made it to where I couldn't make a choice at all.

I continued the thread, sorry.

I just saw a perplexing comment from a poster and felt the need to ask a question.

SilverBoltsisWmax
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15 Sep 2017, 5:04 pm

ShyGirl7 wrote:

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

Marknis wrote:

the_phoenix wrote:

Marknis wrote:

The people in the culture I was born into have shaped up the surroundings to keep people like me out.

Join the club. (Yes, irony ...) It's human nature to form cliques.

Marknis wrote:

They made it to where I couldn't make a choice at all.

I continued the thread, sorry.

I just saw a perplexing comment from a poster and felt the need to ask a question.

I have a bad habit of doing that. Hell I didn't even look at the date of the last thread post before answering wtf.

I've been so focused on that friendzone and lack of dating thread zzzzzzzzzz

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ShyGirl7
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15 Sep 2017, 5:18 pm

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

ShyGirl7 wrote:

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

Marknis wrote:

the_phoenix wrote:

Marknis wrote:

The people in the culture I was born into have shaped up the surroundings to keep people like me out.

Join the club. (Yes, irony ...) It's human nature to form cliques.

Marknis wrote:

They made it to where I couldn't make a choice at all.

I continued the thread, sorry.

I just saw a perplexing comment from a poster and felt the need to ask a question.

I have a bad habit of doing that. Hell I didn't even look at the date of the last thread post before answering wtf.

I've been so focused on that friendzone and lack of dating thread zzzzzzzzzz

That's quite alright. :heart:

None of us is perfect.

Chichikov
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15 Sep 2017, 8:22 pm

Marknis wrote:

I used to post on this forum when I was 18 and the depression I suffer from kicked in. When I told others I was depressed for being single at 18, they either laughed at me or talked down on me. They would say things like "Stop whining, you're only 18!" like I was trying to compete with them.
This didn't help me at all. It made me even more depressed and ten years later I still haven't escaped the vicious cycle I've been trapped in. If I had been given more supportive posts, I think my life would've gone in a better direction.

So now it's that forum's fault you're single. At least you've stopped blaming the Bible belt for you being single. I guess that's progress, of sorts.

Chichikov
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15 Sep 2017, 8:23 pm

Chichikov wrote:

Marknis wrote:

So now it's that forum's fault you're single. At least you've stopped blaming the Bible belt for you being single. I guess that's progress, of sorts.

I need to start reading the whole thread before responding.

TheSpectrum
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