The reality of getting a gf

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I want people to show not saying I am a nice guy with lots to offer. Stop talking about it. Every friends say that to me. I had enough of it because it not an action from appreciation and compliment. Action is stronger than words because its a true reality and its logical.

What is DH? Be careful of abbreviations on here. It not for me because it not worth my poor grammar or my grammar is different language.

In answer to your question about practical actions and execution - a direct action from the said words is the only way to improve. Stop making stupid assumptions. Stop rejecting. Stop avoiding. Stop saying words itself.

What I need is a job, a girlfriend and consistent social life with friends. I have friends, but they mostly not understanding me. But they said they are friends to me, and I am confused with that because the words is always said rather than directions. At the end I probably never had a friend in my life.

If your friends like spending time with you at events and get togethers and you talk to them often, then I am sure they really do like you as a person and when they say you're a 'nice guy' and good person and hardworking and committed, they probably mean it.

I'm sorry you're not having a girlfriend and job, I know how that feels to want a girlfriend badly, but you've got to understand that just because you don't have these things does not mean you are a bad person.

You can still be a good person and not have a relationship and struggle to get one.

There are also plenty of bad people in this world that do have a job and girlfriend.

I'm sorry, but this is the way the world is.

Life is unfair and sometimes it seems no matter how hard you work to be a good person and improve yourself, you still may end up alone.

A lot of people believe in the 'just world fallacy'.

This is the belief if bad things happen to someone that they deserved it, and if good things happen to someone that means they deserve it for being a good person.

This is not always true, because there's plenty of 'good' people who have had unlucky lives, and plenty of 'bad' people who have had everything handed to them and have a successful life without having had to put in anywhere near as much work.

I am sure you can see this yourself and know exactly what I mean.

Still, my advice for you is to continue improving yourself as a person and working hard in life, and to also have patience, because you're doing everything right and the only thing that you really need to do at this point is keep up the good work, and wait.

But, also you could start asking out women more.

You said you asked out female friends right?

Well how about for now try online dating while waiting. Respond back to me if you need tips.

Also, have any women ever shown interest in you?

Even do you think a woman has ever flirted with you, that is hint she is attracted to you by being very playful towards you even if you barely know her and complimenting you and laughing at all your jokes?

A good idea for a dating profile:

Hello, I'm Matthew and I'm glad that you've taken the time to look at my profile.

I was born legally deaf and so since I was young have been working hard to improve my communication issues.

I know Australian Sign Language and am continuing to learn and improve in my English every day and working on my speech impediment that makes it difficult for other people to understand what I'm saying, so for these reasons if I am messaging you it is possible that I will not type the best due to my communication difficulties. I had a friend of mine help me write this profile so that it is more clear and easy to understand, but my actual skill level in english typing is not much worse than this you are reading right now.

I am currently looking for work after graduating from uni and earning two degrees, one in Environmental Science and (your other degree).

I am passionate and committed to my interests and goals.

I have spoken at various conferences and events for a variety of issues including the Deaf community, Disability rights activism, Environmentalism, etc.

This has helped my confidence greatly as I can now speak in front of hundreds of people with ease.

I have traveled the world to various places including New York City, (put the other places here)

I have many stories to share and had the adventure of a lifetime at these places.

I care deeply about the sustainability of our Environment and ensuring things such as the Great Barrier Reef are not ruined by pollution and toxic spills from the government.

My friends tell me I am a nice guy, hardworking, committed and easy to speak to and get along with.

My favorite activities are spending time with friends, (put your other favorite activities after this).

I hope to meet a nice woman who can accept me for who I am and see the good in me instead of being turned away due to my disability.

I cannot wait to meet and chat to new and interesting people. "

Try something like this. Use your best pictures.

I AM NOT GOING ON DATING WEBSITES EVER AGAIN! Gosh how many times I told people about this suggestion.

I have been on several different types of dating websites for very long time gosh how long I ever remembered when I first started. I had zero dates from them. The longer I spend on it the less I get attractive women to love for gosh out of me.

I want to leave Australia. Very racist and discriminating bogan country. Tinder must be banned.

Sorry, i had no idea.

Yeah i hate online dating, its absolute hell to be honest so all I can say is good job for trying to do it's it is very hard.

Please try not t get angry, it is hard to give dating advice, especially becau this is a unique situation due to societies prejudice and discrimination against deaf community. You are right that it exists, it is not just in your head, and in sorry the world has to be this way sometimes.

Yes i hate a lot or things about this county too. You are right, other countries believe we are a tolerant place we aren't. Very racist, very bogan. Plenty of the young women are toxic feminists who discriminate against males, our government is the opposite and sexist racist homophobic men.

The liberal party is awful, does not matter if its Abbott or Turnbull or some else they are all rich slimy types even worse than Donald Trump because everyone at least knows Trump is an (swear word) but Turnbull tried to hidw it and Abbott denied it.

The labor party also isn't that good with but a little better.

I wish the greens could win.

in many ways it is like looking for a job

I skimmed this thread. Didn't read it word for word.

I feel for Ecomatt91, especially since I have several deaf friends. Two of them, both named Mark, are each married & now have 2 kids each. One of them is also a successful business owner. The other played Hockey for Team Canada in 2 Deaf Olympics and was invited to play a 3rd but declined. Just thought I'd share some deaf success. On that note, if you ever end up in Vancouver, I'd be more than happy to introduce you to these real life deaf success stories just for how very real meeting people in person is vs. reading a 2nd hand story online.

I appreciate Retro & Outrider's tactful honesty in this thread. Reality is that there ARE social hierarchies of all kinds and there ARE more and less desirable partners to most people. Simple fact. They are not being rude or shallow pointing these things out.

It's nice of people like Sly to be so universally accepting of others. But it certainly doesn't make others rude if they have stricter criteria for a significant others. I don't consider myself shallow or arrogant for declining many requests for dates/partnerships because, for a variety of reasons ranging from physical appearance to personality etc none of those people felt right for me. That's all the justification I need to not date someone, regardless of what you think of me for it.

One last bit: This thread is chock full of people I wish would believe me when I tell them that I've figured out how to treat my ASD symptoms and what I do may work for them, too. It's frustrating to read of others' continued pain and difficulties when I feel like what I've learned and done may be able to help them, too. So, to all of you reading this: I'm still every bit of an open book about what I've done and continue to do. If you'd care to discuss it at all, please, feel free to pm me - and then maybe this year will be better than the last. Happy New Year!

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

12% bodyfat? That's very impressive! How did you do it? Does it relate to the treatment you've been using for the symptoms of aspergers?

I'm sure you're right that if Ecomatt91 got in shape and got a good his confidence would improve tenfold.

Ecomatt91 would also benefit from some patience. When I was his age my goal was to date a girl as quickly as possible. Any girl. This proved to be a terrible idea. I would rather wait 5 years for the right girl than a month for the wrong girl.

Meanwhile, Ecomatt91 should learn to enjoy being single. Happiness is an attractive quality. Pinning your happiness on one factor can have disastrous results.

Hi all,

I am quite healthy person! I eat balanced diet and I always look after my body and appearance. I always keep myself clean and hygienic. I always shower and brush my teeth every single day. I wear fresh clothes. I am always wear smart casual and formal clothes like suit pants and business t-shirt when I am out to meetings, community forums/events, special gatherings and that. I iron, wash and clean them every single week. Both my mother and grandmother taught me all of this, same for cooking and cleaning the house and car. I always listen to my mother's advice on being healthy, looking after myself and things I own.

I am also quite fit person too. I have a mountain bike that I use a lot every week especially commuting to places in the city. I am 180cm and 82kg. I have large upper body muscles with wide shoulders. But I am not intending to be a body builder. I am aiming to be fit all rounder like can run fast and endurance.

I am always single in my life and I achieve lot of things for myself which that makes me happy. I am happy about my life since the fact I am looking after myself and doing things I love like passion and interests. I am turning 26 at end of February, this gets concerning for male Aspie stigmatisation. I get quite few judgmental from friends, both women and guys telling me I need to stop cutting my hair too short (I am size 1 hair), wearing formal clothes too often and those kind of stuff. I always get too many assumptions and superficial remarks from them and other people in public. I am like why people tend to be too focused on physical appearances rather than personalities and that? If they are right, it could be my Aspie physical appearances like the shape of my head, eyes, nose and that etc? I compared my looks to an average guy or even the good looking ones I don't seem any such difference. The only difference is the attitudes.

According to the decoding dating book that my psychologist gave me to read over Christmas holidays, there are three personality types that may be the problem cause. 1. Type A personality (socially minded or laid back); 2. Intelligent personality; 3. Serious personality. This book helped me to analyse personalities especially my friends and the girls I want to date. Type A personality seems the cause of the problem, because its most common personality where people tend to be too focused on socialising and don't care about things like the stories behind the person and lack of act of courtesy. This results in serious social and communication defunct and bias.

Looking back analysing Aspie skills in areas of social and communication strategies of course we lack that. But the academic perspective it just being different. The world is mostly of Type A personalities, so they become too passive-aggressive, assuming, stereotypical and 'giving up' attitudes towards Aspie people. Both intelligent and serious personalities aren't common unfortunately. I believe that is the reason why I am still single at almost 26 years old since the fact lot of achievements and happiness I have done so far in my life. I am also socially active being with people all the time with various groups. So it seems nothing wrong with me causing these issues.

ya, way life is meant to work is that anything worth having doesn't come easy