Done Wasting Time I Quit Dating

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I_Heart_Unicorns
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 13 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 60

26 Oct 2016, 11:30 am

Outrider wrote:
beakybird wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
beakybird wrote:
Ive decided if I havent found someone by time I turn 40, Im gonna kill myself on my 40th birthday. I cant be alone. Theres no reason for me to be alive. A little under 2yrs and counting.... august 2018 here I come...

pardon me for my density but I thought you had already had a mate. even if it was in the past, at least you had the experience. :star:


Yep. While Id not trade my experience, I suspect the having what you wanted most and then losing it is worse than never having had it before... especially when you're left to realize how little you appreciated it when you had it and now live with crushing regret.

I suppose for someone whos never had that, theyd disagree with what may be worse and would rather be in my position, which is the fallacy of comparisons. When you love somene the way I did, and are now back out there seeing what other women are actually about its a shock. I just dont think anyone I can find will compare to my wife.... plus any idea how few single women there are in their 30s that dont have kids? Not very many it seems.

So, Im giving it two years and then checking out. Living alone is useless and not something I have any interest in at all in learning how to do. I cant conceive of how people wake up everyday... how anyone cares about anything... its just a very alien way to think or feel for me...

Bottle of sleeping pills in one hand, liter of vodka in the other... drive to the woods, empty both bottles, and drift off...


Finally, someone who admits being alone is one of the darkest hells.

Too many people try to say 'You've got to be happy on your own first'.

It's B.S. An effin' lie made up by most Normies (normie - someone with a normal amount of friendships and relationships). Most normies can enter another relationship within 6 months after a breakup, they don't know true loneliness. Few/no friends, no girlfriend, not a good relation with family.

A lot of normies who are 'happy' on their 'own' coincidentally have a group of 4-6 good friends, one long-term romantic relationship at least once every 2-4 years, and a supportive and caring family.

The reality is money doesn't really buy happiness, all the success in the world is nothing without true love, true friends and wonderful family to spend time with, support and always be there by your side and you for them.

It is one of the only purposes in life, to enjoy it with others and make it the best you possibly can and they for you before our time is up.

Personally I don't give one single damn about being a success.

I don't want to change the world at all. I don't want to be rich, famous, I don't even want to do what most normal people to and get the degree and have a successful career.

I seriously don't care.

Even most humanitarian efforts I find are completely pointless, we'll all just end up dead in the end anyway, but I can still find the value in volunteering for some paradoxically odd reason.

At least when you volunteer for a good cause it does help make the lives of other's better before they meet their fate.

But yeah. It's the people that matter to me. The people in my life, of which I have very few right now to none or we're too separated by distance for me to really see them and spend time with them.

There's already multiple studies that show love is the key to happiness for most people.

A 75 year comprehensive study (the Grant Study) of thousands of men revealed love is the key to happiness.

All forms of love, whether it be supportive friendships and family, etc.

http://www.businessinsider.com.au/rober ... ss-2015-12

Yeah, I know I'm only 17.

Well, I'm actually 18 next month.

For most of my childhood I had little to no good friends and very few acqauintances, very much a loner. Age 10 I met my best friend who i still talk to today.

In 6th and 7th grade we had a great time.

Then we both moved to different places come high school.

High school, 8th-11th grade was a long string of loneliness or brief friendships that came and went, but no true good friends were made. No girlfriend.

11th grade, met two good mates, but I ended up moving once again at the end of the year.

12th grade, new high school, fresh start, made no good friends all year. Ended the year on a high note with at least a girlfriend and chatting to another girl who dropped out and moved away a few months earlier.

Girlfriend dumped me not long after, and as usual I went back into my typical state of solitude.

I was use to solitude by now, but not like this - at least I had school to go to, now it's complete and total isolation, day-in day-out.

Also, I'm probably wired very similar to you regarding my need for an LTR.

FFS, I've always been a hopeless romantic. :(


You wrote: "It's B.S. An effin' lie made up by most Normies (normie - someone with a normal amount of friendships and relationships). Most normies can enter another relationship within 6 months after a breakup, they don't know true loneliness. Few/no friends, no girlfriend, not a good relation with family."

Totally agree. Although in my experience, many NTs tend to have a person (or two) in reserve they can fall back on in case they split up with their partner. That way they can seamlessly go from being split up to being in a relationship again in the blink of an eye.


_________________
It were proper bo I tell thee


Dr.Pepper
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 23 Sep 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 198

26 Oct 2016, 12:34 pm

I_Heart_Unicorns wrote:
Outrider wrote:
beakybird wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
beakybird wrote:
Ive decided if I havent found someone by time I turn 40, Im gonna kill myself on my 40th birthday. I cant be alone. Theres no reason for me to be alive. A little under 2yrs and counting.... august 2018 here I come...

pardon me for my density but I thought you had already had a mate. even if it was in the past, at least you had the experience. :star:


Yep. While Id not trade my experience, I suspect the having what you wanted most and then losing it is worse than never having had it before... especially when you're left to realize how little you appreciated it when you had it and now live with crushing regret.

I suppose for someone whos never had that, theyd disagree with what may be worse and would rather be in my position, which is the fallacy of comparisons. When you love somene the way I did, and are now back out there seeing what other women are actually about its a shock. I just dont think anyone I can find will compare to my wife.... plus any idea how few single women there are in their 30s that dont have kids? Not very many it seems.

So, Im giving it two years and then checking out. Living alone is useless and not something I have any interest in at all in learning how to do. I cant conceive of how people wake up everyday... how anyone cares about anything... its just a very alien way to think or feel for me...

Bottle of sleeping pills in one hand, liter of vodka in the other... drive to the woods, empty both bottles, and drift off...


Finally, someone who admits being alone is one of the darkest hells.

Too many people try to say 'You've got to be happy on your own first'.

It's B.S. An effin' lie made up by most Normies (normie - someone with a normal amount of friendships and relationships). Most normies can enter another relationship within 6 months after a breakup, they don't know true loneliness. Few/no friends, no girlfriend, not a good relation with family.

A lot of normies who are 'happy' on their 'own' coincidentally have a group of 4-6 good friends, one long-term romantic relationship at least once every 2-4 years, and a supportive and caring family.

The reality is money doesn't really buy happiness, all the success in the world is nothing without true love, true friends and wonderful family to spend time with, support and always be there by your side and you for them.

It is one of the only purposes in life, to enjoy it with others and make it the best you possibly can and they for you before our time is up.

Personally I don't give one single damn about being a success.

I don't want to change the world at all. I don't want to be rich, famous, I don't even want to do what most normal people to and get the degree and have a successful career.

I seriously don't care.

Even most humanitarian efforts I find are completely pointless, we'll all just end up dead in the end anyway, but I can still find the value in volunteering for some paradoxically odd reason.

At least when you volunteer for a good cause it does help make the lives of other's better before they meet their fate.

But yeah. It's the people that matter to me. The people in my life, of which I have very few right now to none or we're too separated by distance for me to really see them and spend time with them.

There's already multiple studies that show love is the key to happiness for most people.

A 75 year comprehensive study (the Grant Study) of thousands of men revealed love is the key to happiness.

All forms of love, whether it be supportive friendships and family, etc.

http://www.businessinsider.com.au/rober ... ss-2015-12

Yeah, I know I'm only 17.

Well, I'm actually 18 next month.

For most of my childhood I had little to no good friends and very few acqauintances, very much a loner. Age 10 I met my best friend who i still talk to today.

In 6th and 7th grade we had a great time.

Then we both moved to different places come high school.

High school, 8th-11th grade was a long string of loneliness or brief friendships that came and went, but no true good friends were made. No girlfriend.

11th grade, met two good mates, but I ended up moving once again at the end of the year.

12th grade, new high school, fresh start, made no good friends all year. Ended the year on a high note with at least a girlfriend and chatting to another girl who dropped out and moved away a few months earlier.

Girlfriend dumped me not long after, and as usual I went back into my typical state of solitude.

I was use to solitude by now, but not like this - at least I had school to go to, now it's complete and total isolation, day-in day-out.

Also, I'm probably wired very similar to you regarding my need for an LTR.

FFS, I've always been a hopeless romantic. :(


You wrote: "It's B.S. An effin' lie made up by most Normies (normie - someone with a normal amount of friendships and relationships). Most normies can enter another relationship within 6 months after a breakup, they don't know true loneliness. Few/no friends, no girlfriend, not a good relation with family."

Totally agree. Although in my experience, many NTs tend to have a person (or two) in reserve they can fall back on in case they split up with their partner. That way they can seamlessly go from being split up to being in a relationship again in the blink of an eye.


Have you explored pet companionships? I derive a significant amount of social meaning from my relationships with my pets. They are non-judgemental (for the most part) and love unconditionally. They are social, they feel themselves as part of our social group and see me as a member of that group. I also derive meaning from caring for them, from a caretaker role.

There are many potential companions in shelters who need a human to take care of them and be their family member. You can save lives by taking them into your home. You can create your own family.