Focusing On People Who Like Me

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I've done this 3 times, not felt like I'm in love but definitely felt like I've had feelings for somebody just because they have them for me. And it really is an instant thing, like they tell me and then emotionally I'm there. Objectively I could see that I wasn't attracted to them, and that I didn't want to be with them, but damned if I didn't get girlish and stupid around them for a while. Sometimes I worry it's because I don't bother socially, so when somebody actively expresses an interest in me the part of my brain which is lonely just latches onto that glimmer of company. It's annoying while it lasts, especially because I feel guilty for leading the other person on. I also sometimes think maybe I did like them romantically, but I couldn't work it out somehow because of ASD.

Usually it ends badly, me rejecting them 'out of the blue' and feeling guilty for it, sorry to the guys I have done this to .

I would probably get a crush on them but no girl has ever told me she had feelings for me, or did not notice the hints.

Sometimes I did think girls liked me and I would pay more attention to them and even did get a crush on them sometimes even though they were just being nice.