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Girlfriend is being very distant

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Lonehiker
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25 Oct 2016, 1:42 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Lonehiker wrote:
Ok so she contacted me on skype and we ended up talking for about an hour. She basically said that she can't handle things in life at the moment and feels bad about it, that she s not cut out for it all. I asked her about us and she is not sure, doesn't know how she feels.

So right now I'm not really sure what to think. I'm just going to give her plenty of space and see what happens. At least she didn't flat out breakup with me.


I can be like this with my fiancee and it is almost always something unrelater to our relationship that bothers me.

Just remind her that you are there to support her and that your relationship isnt another problem that needs fixing.

Maybe offer to just listen to everything she is worried about to let her just vent.

She sounds like she feels like she can't tell people her problems in case it causes trouble for them. If thats the case just remind her that you want to know all her troubles to lessen the burden


Thanks, this sounds good.

When I asked if it was our relationship that is related to whats troubling her she said 'partly'. I really do want to listen and show her that I care. However I'm waiting for her to contact me again, if not I will in a week or two.



AlexaSaturn
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25 Oct 2016, 5:30 pm

Lonehiker wrote:
AlexaSaturn wrote:
Lonehiker wrote:
Apparently she's busy again and just told me to have a great weekend (by text). I've asked a couple of friends, and they say I'm getting the cold shoulder and should not ask her about our relationship as it would be too needy. What she's put is her way of saying she dosent want to be together, as to not hurt my feelings.

I want to leave her alone and not be a nusance, but at the same time I just want a straight answer arghhh


Before I give my opinion I want to know. Did you guys actually make the relationship official or were you still in the "seeing each other" phase?


We are official and she was the one who asked a few months back to be exclusive.


She is ghosting you. It's over. Time to find a replacement that will appreciate you.


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Lonehiker
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28 Oct 2016, 5:34 am

Final update.

I've been a little worried about the whole situation and I asked her again for some clarity. Turns out when I mentioned seeing each others siblings, it triggered her social anxiety and she basically panicked. Although she likes me she can't handle that type of relationship and felt really bad about herself. I've told her i'm content with how things are and that it doesn't need to progress.

After that we have started talking again and are arranging plans to see each other, so it looks promising.



Peacesells
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28 Oct 2016, 8:17 pm

Lonehiker wrote:
I've been a little worried about the whole situation and I asked her again for some clarity. Turns out when I mentioned seeing each others siblings, it triggered her social anxiety and she basically panicked.

Image
Jokes apart, I don't get why she couldn't just tell you that she was not ready and instead had to ghost you for I don't know how long without telling you anything.



Alliekit
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28 Oct 2016, 8:57 pm

Peacesells wrote:
Lonehiker wrote:
I've been a little worried about the whole situation and I asked her again for some clarity. Turns out when I mentioned seeing each others siblings, it triggered her social anxiety and she basically panicked.

Image
Jokes apart, I don't get why she couldn't just tell you that she was not ready and instead had to ghost you for I don't know how long without telling you anything.


I find with my anxiety I like bury my head I the sand and avoid it. maybe she is doing the same?

Also know as avoidant personality disorder



Peacesells
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28 Oct 2016, 9:06 pm

Alliekit wrote:
I find with my anxiety I like bury my head I the sand and avoid it. maybe she is doing the same?

Also know as avoidant personality disorder

Even if you do it it doens't mean that it is ok. I wonder how good it is to be with someone who will react like that for something like wanting to meet siblings and will ghost you and not tell you anything about it for weeks.



Alliekit
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29 Oct 2016, 10:02 am

Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
I find with my anxiety I like bury my head I the sand and avoid it. maybe she is doing the same?

Also know as avoidant personality disorder

Even if you do it it doens't mean that it is ok. I wonder how good it is to be with someone who will react like that for something like wanting to meet siblings and will ghost you and not tell you anything about it for weeks.


I didn't mean it was acceptable :)



Peacesells
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29 Oct 2016, 5:34 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
I find with my anxiety I like bury my head I the sand and avoid it. maybe she is doing the same?

Also know as avoidant personality disorder

Even if you do it it doens't mean that it is ok. I wonder how good it is to be with someone who will react like that for something like wanting to meet siblings and will ghost you and not tell you anything about it for weeks.


I didn't mean it was acceptable :)

Oh. Alrighty then.



Alliekit
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30 Oct 2016, 8:20 am

Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
I find with my anxiety I like bury my head I the sand and avoid it. maybe she is doing the same?

Also know as avoidant personality disorder

Even if you do it it doens't mean that it is ok. I wonder how good it is to be with someone who will react like that for something like wanting to meet siblings and will ghost you and not tell you anything about it for weeks.


I didn't mean it was acceptable :)

Oh. Alrighty then.


Why does the smiling face look so strange. Sorry I didn't explain myself to well :oops:



Peacesells
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30 Oct 2016, 4:47 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Why does the smiling face look so strange.

What smiling face, this " :) "?
Quote:
Sorry I didn't explain myself to well :oops:

No, my bad. Sorry, sometimes I am unnecessarily harsh.



Alliekit
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30 Oct 2016, 5:09 pm

Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Why does the smiling face look so strange.

What smiling face, this " :) "?


Yea it looks a little evil sometimes hehehe



Peacesells
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31 Oct 2016, 10:58 am

Alliekit wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Why does the smiling face look so strange.

What smiling face, this " :) "?


Yea it looks a little evil sometimes hehehe

Odd, it never looked evil to me. :)