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i never say a joke i have already heard in response to a question like this.

i do not have the capacity to make up good jokes that are short.

Q: what happens when you appoint a hen to a board of investigators?
A: they start laying charges.

Q: what is the title of someone employed to greet flour grinders?
A: a miller meeter.

Q: what do elephants and mice have in common?
A: they both have 2 ears.


Q: what does petrol have in common with breast milk?
A: they can both be measured in litres.

yeah....way to clear out a table of jokers and have my solitude again.

When is a joke not a joke?

When it's not funny.

What do you call a feline from Barcelona?

Cat-alan

Three Irishmen walk into a bar.
The fourth one ducks.

What's red and green and goes ninety miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.

Q: what did the chinese woman who was born and raised in the middle east say about her experience after getting back to china in an hysterical state?

A: Iraq...Arabia

Dry humor can be like magic - because it can a.) Hold water. b.) Make a big splash. c.) Without coming-out all wet!!

In housekeeping, being a domestic is not a foreign notion!

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

The cat has claws at the end of its paws, while a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

A teacher asks a boy in class "Did you miss school yesterday?"
The boy says, "I was ABSENT from school, but I sure didn't miss it!"

Lostonearth,

That's a good one!

- What does James Bond say when pushing someone out of an airplane?
- You die. Plane and simple.

Life.

The ultimate joke.


But really....

My favorite joke:
There is a British man sitting in a pub, nursing a beer. An Irishman comes in, goes straight to the bar and orders two beers, then pulls a little leprechaun out of his pocket and sets him on the bar.
The Irishman and the Leprechaun chug their beers, and when finished, the Leprechaun runs down the bar and blows a big raspberry in the British man's face.. "PPLLLLTTHHHHHBBB" then runs back to the Irishman, giggling.
The British man wipes his face and stares angrily at them both while the Irishman orders two more beers.
The Irishman and Leprechaun chug, and once more the Leprechaun runs down the bar and blows another raspberry in the British man's face. "PLLLLLTTHHHHHBBBB"
After two more times, the British man has finally had enough and strides down the bar to the Irishman.

"Oi, 'e does that again and I'll cut his willy off!" The British man shouts at the Irishman.

"Leprechauns don't have willies." The Irishman says laughing.

"... how the hell does he take a piss then?" asks the British man.

"He doesn't. He goes 'PLLLLLTTTHHHHHBBBB'."