Dealing with anti-lgbt parents

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So, I'm a gay male and I'm 14, but despite wanting to come out, I need to stay closeted. The reason is my dad and stepmom, while aren't extremists, definitely are against lgbt people and are rather closed minded. So, if I did come out, I doubt I'd be able to convince that being lgbt is okay. Though, luckily I live in California, which is currently one of the few to have outright banned anti-lgbt conversion therapy. Anyway I want to join the Air Force, so my plan was to either to try to get into USMMA and move to New York during my 4 years of schooling there then enlist or to just enlist into the Air Force after high school. So, pretty much I just want some advice on how to deal with their homophobia for the next 4 years till I'm able to work on being able to move and live on my own.

You're still a kid, boy.

A bit too soon to tell if you're gay or not, don't you think?

You know yourself better than anyone else. There is no need to come out yet. Building a life takes time. Start with making it through school by focusing on the studies you like or believe you will need. You might think ahead to when you are 16 years old and can work a little. Keep certain facts to yourself for now. In time, you might tell your parents that your friends include one or more LGBT individual; better yet, invent such a friend. This way you can teach them gradually about LGBT people without them realizing it. If you know of your other family members who might let you talk to them for now, contact them. Think about going to college where you can have a dorm room and a little more privacy. It will all come together if you make the right choices. Most of all, understand that your parents will end up loving you no matter what. Really, they will.

If you are autistic, remember that some autists are more frequently LGBT than others. That fact alone should tell you that you might have some friends in the same situation. Good luck!

The OP's probably a very mature 14.

He really knows he's gay.

I knew I was straight when I was about eight years old.

Like AspieUtah stated, he should really plan his life.

Not necessarily. I remember kissing all the little straight kids in about third grade, and all the onlookers would scream because it was "gross" to kiss kids the same physical sex as you. Some queer people know they're queer from a ridiculously young age. Plus, the younger you can figure yourself out and be ok with that, the less trouble you're going to have and hopefully less humiliating mistakes you'll make trying to figure it out as an adult.
By the OP's age, many kids are really starting to explore sexuality as they're into puberty by then, and it's an important time going from kid domain to adult domain. No need to malign them just because they're young.
With the parents though - Most people disagree with me, but I don't see the reason for all this "coming out" unless it's relevant. You don't need to tell your parents everything. Some things like this you can keep private, and make clear you are not willing to talk about those things.
With enduring their homophobia - perhaps making it clear you support equality, gay rights and all LGBT issues without going into your own sexuality may be enough for them to get the message that being homophobic around you is offensive to you and not okay. Many people support gay rights without being gay themselves, so you're not outing yourself. They have a right to be homophobic and oppose all things LGBT if such is their view - they should not have to change their beliefs just because of yours. You're entitled to your support, they're entitled to their condemnation. In these circumstances, usually best just to take the topic off the proverbial table.

I knew I was attracted to both males and females when I was in first grade. A lot of people know if they are gay, straight, or something else by the time they are teenagers. It happens. A lot.

As for advice on how to deal with homophobic parents, you already have some good ideas here. Focusing on the future is good way to keep busy, keep time flying, and be productive in the long run. I also agree that it is not really necessary to go and out yourself.. especially if the reaction is going to be a negative one.

My best guess would be to find support outside of the home if possible. Local lgbtq groups, people in school/activities who are more tolerant, online forums things like that, would be my go to things were I in your place. My default when things are rough in homes for whatever reason is to find an external support system whenever possible.

my dad hates gay people but he is bisexaul go figure.

Do you have friends you trust and can come out to? I'm slightly older than you, but in a similar situation (Californian with parents I'm not comfortable telling while I'm still under their roof). I had a lot of internalized homophobia when I was younger, but since coming out to a few of my friends (some also queer, some straight), I've struggled with that a lot less. For me at least, it's been really helpful and validating to have others know.

I knew I would go on to like dudes by the time I was 9 considering how obsessed I was with Link from LoZ

It is impossible to know how people will actually react. It is actually quite common for people to say one thing and do another when confronted with real life.

I don't think you need to convince your parents that it's ok in order to live a happy life. The most important thing is that you accept yourself. If you accept yourself, and know that there will always be those who accept you as you are, then I think you will be ok. It's possible that when you eventually tell your parents that you're gay, they will accept you, regardless of whether or not they approve of it.

Dealing with LGBT-phobes in one's family can be a b***h, but in the circumstance your family does not accept you being gay, the best you can do is to find someone who will understand.

My parents sound much like the OP's, not extremists per se but not exactly forgiving of LGBT folk either. It leaves one in a very difficult position, not knowing how much you can say, or how much they agree with if they're deliberately mute on an obviously uncomfortable topic. I believe both sides; child and parent have to find some middle ground or risk falling out permanently. Reconciliation at the right time is a phenomenally massive step to take.