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Capulet
Hummingbird
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31 May 2017, 12:17 pm

AspieUtah wrote:
thatsrobrageous wrote:
As a gay man, I feel like I cannot share my opinion with a good portion of the LGBT community without being scorned at. Seems like everyone has to be political and internalize stereotypes to be considered a good member of the LGBT community. What happened to the definition of Community? I thought people could try to get along and stick together. I'm embarrassed it is currently hostile and I did not want to go to gay clubs this weekend because of the frequent fear blown out of proportion to the point of shunning anyone without second thought.

Despite succeeding on marriage equality, nondiscrimination and hate-crime protections, too many LGBT people still "eat their own" by abusing each other, particularly those who don't comply with their expectations of conformity (political, social and professional). "Diverse and inclusive," my ass. They are now, too often, the abusers not the victims.

As an LGBT advocate for 35 years, I hate to admit it, but it might take a generation or more for LGBT people to grow up.



Its very satisfying to see this- I agree with all of this but have felt very alone in my opinions. I want LGBT people to be kind and open and accepting and welcoming so badly (I'm gay myself) yet in my personal experience they have been extremely petty, condescending, entitled, and I want nothing to do with any of that. It really sucks. I feel like its a recent development too- from where I'm at the past ten years its gotten really bad. I have a theory as to why this is but I don't have time to get into it now.


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RandomFox
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15 Jun 2017, 3:50 pm

Well, at least LGBT community acknowledges your existence... ace people are often totally excluded. Internet is full of bitter comments of aces, like recently Equinox released a video of a LGBT alphabet with no single mention of asexuals. Maybe people put us alongside plants and mushrooms somewhere... ;)
I hope to see some aces at my local Pride soon.



C2V
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16 Jun 2017, 4:41 am

^ That may be so of some groups, but others fully acknowledge that aces are part of the spectrum of alternative orientations. I tend to see that while many sexualities and gender orientations get outright hate - indeed, someone here just made a whole topic about how anything LGBT is "filth," aces seem to get dismissed - you've got a hormonal imbalance, you're really gay and in denial, you must have been abused, you just haven't met the right partner, etc. Basically saying that asexuality isn't real, and there is some other explanation that they can like better.


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HoneyB33
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21 Jun 2017, 3:56 pm

Wow do I really agree with this post.

I feel like it's gotten extremely bad in the last 5 years or so. I've walked out on a date because the person was jumping all over my "incorrect" wording. I just got sick of it. I'm perfectly capable and willing to learn and be supportive of people, esp queer individuals. But oh how tired I am of being treated like I (a gender-queer lesbian) am now your enemy? Simply because I didn't say one word right? And esp being autistic, I can't STAND ppl cutting me off mid-sentense. After about 5 times, I got up and left.

I can't stand how entitled, self-centered, and controlling the queer community have become. You have EVERY right to fight for what you deserve, you do NOT have the right to shove your crap down other ppl's throats in hatred. Isn't that what was done to you in the first place? Isn't that why this fight began?

And honestly, I think a lot of queer people want to have an issue. I do not at all deny that there is a very real struggle going on for a LOT of people. But I have seen too many individuals who play at being a victim, and I'm sick of it. There are real people suffering, and just acting like you're one of them to get what you want? That's beyond selfish and entitled.



d057
Velociraptor
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08 Jul 2017, 9:01 pm

I attended Pride for the first time in 2014. I volunteered for my local pride celebration. All I can say is that was a gigantic mistake that I wish not to make again. The organizers for the festival had this "celebration" for the volunteers about a month after Pride. I honestly wish I walked out. They were some of the rudest, shallow and stuck up people I ever took time out of my day to be around.

They had a buffet table with food and I was looking for a place to sit. After looking around I asked where I could find a chair. Instead of politely pointing to where I could find one, one of the staff picked up the chair and slammed it onto the ground. They gave me this look like "you are not part of our clique, go away."

I refuse to take time out of my day to be around people who treat me like worthless garbage.


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C2V
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10 Jul 2017, 1:17 am

Quote:
And honestly, I think a lot of queer people want to have an issue. I do not at all deny that there is a very real struggle going on for a LOT of people. But I have seen too many individuals who play at being a victim, and I'm sick of it. There are real people suffering, and just acting like you're one of them to get what you want? That's beyond selfish and entitled.

I get this too. Especially with gendering and pronouns. Its a crappy un-PC thing to write and I'm probably going to be slammed for it but I do see a lot of this raging coming from people who give NO indication that they are queer in any way. So, someone absolutely stereotypically masculine presenting for example, not in transition at all, who lives a male oriented life, has a cis heterosexual female partner, and then starts screaming about someone misgendering them as male or just assuming they're straight.
I'm not suggesting queer people go around wearing signs or that the above example is any less queer than anyone else or doesn't deserve to be treated in the way they prefer (before anyone jumps on my case about it) just that it seems a bit much to get your proverbial nose all out of joint for someone mistaking you for exactly what you present yourself as. Its as quoted - like they want to have a problem. They won't get the crap queer presenting people often get, but they still get to be all outraged when people dare interpret them as they present.
So yeah. I'm an arsehole.


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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.