Still haven't found a girlfriend

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Peacesells
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19 Feb 2017, 10:51 am

AngelRho wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
And barring the possibility she's just not into guys, it really stung when when I found out they were IAR a week or two later.

What the hell does "IAR" mean, "in a relationship"? Why don't you just write "in a relationship"?

Because I'm tl;dr as it is. :lol: Besides, it's a commonly used phrase enough people can figure it out.

Also, dating and online dating especially have their own lingo. For example, the dreaded: "BBW seeks DDF BBC for discreet NSA fun. Can host."

ACRONYMS ARE NOT A LANGUAGE. I wish people would stop abusing and misusing them,it f*****g sucks to read something like this.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Feb 2017, 11:09 am

^ WTP PS? WAYSA?



Peacesells
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19 Feb 2017, 12:33 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ WTP PS? WAYSA?

I could read your mother tongue more than this gibberish.



cricketman123
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19 Feb 2017, 12:37 pm

Guys can we stop arguing about these pointless things?



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Feb 2017, 12:37 pm

Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ WTP PS? WAYSA?

I could read your mother tongue more than this gibberish.


It reads "What's the problem PeaceSells? Why are you so angry?".

Piece of cake.



AngelRho
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19 Feb 2017, 7:22 pm

Peacesells wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
And barring the possibility she's just not into guys, it really stung when when I found out they were IAR a week or two later.

What the hell does "IAR" mean, "in a relationship"? Why don't you just write "in a relationship"?

Because I'm tl;dr as it is. :lol: Besides, it's a commonly used phrase enough people can figure it out.

Also, dating and online dating especially have their own lingo. For example, the dreaded: "BBW seeks DDF BBC for discreet NSA fun. Can host."

ACRONYMS ARE NOT A LANGUAGE. I wish people would stop abusing and misusing them,it f*****g sucks to read something like this.

I don't use many acronyms, though, and what I do use are specific to the dating world. It's common sense.

LDR: Long Distance Relationship
LTR: Long Term Relationship
NSA: No Strings Attached
FWB: Friends With Benefits (see NSA)
IAR: In A Relationship
ISO: In Search Of

Some I don't frequently use because, frankly, I see them as being low class:
BBW: Big Beautiful Woman
MILF: Mother I'd Love To F___
DDF: Drug/Disease Free
Any racial identifiers (can't we just get past this already?), for example:
AA: African American
BBC: Big Black Male Chicken
Any acronym that identifies truck-stop prostitutes. :lol:

If you want the full glossary, just look up any American personals ads. CL (that's Craig's List) is a great source of info on this, not to mention funnier than The Onion and great entertainment. Be warned, the free porn is pretty grotesque, so avoid posts that include pics. And for heaven's sake don't actually answer these ads. The massage therapist at the truck stop is anything but, and if you engage her "services," you won't be DDF for very long!



Peacesells
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22 Feb 2017, 5:48 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It reads "What's the problem PeaceSells? Why are you so angry?".

Piece of cake.

I can't stand it when they use some obscure acronym and act as if I am supposed to know what it stands for. And I am not talking about stuff like "BTW".
cricketman123 wrote:
Guys can we stop arguing about these pointless things?

Well you know if someone wants to contribute to a thread it must at least be understandable.
AngelRho wrote:
I don't use many acronyms, though, and what I do use are specific to the dating world. It's common sense.

LDR: Long Distance Relationship
LTR: Long Term Relationship
NSA: No Strings Attached
FWB: Friends With Benefits (see NSA)
IAR: In A Relationship
ISO: In Search Of

Some I don't frequently use because, frankly, I see them as being low class:
BBW: Big Beautiful Woman
MILF: Mother I'd Love To F___
DDF: Drug/Disease Free
Any racial identifiers (can't we just get past this already?), for example:
AA: African American
BBC: Big Black Male Chicken
Any acronym that identifies truck-stop prostitutes. :lol:

If you want the full glossary, just look up any American personals ads. CL (that's Craig's List) is a great source of info on this, not to mention funnier than The Onion and great entertainment. Be warned, the free porn is pretty grotesque, so avoid posts that include pics. And for heaven's sake don't actually answer these ads. The massage therapist at the truck stop is anything but, and if you engage her "services," you won't be DDF for very long!
Some of these are very common but most of them are quite obscure. And isn't it ugly to talk like this?
I'm not gonna see a glossary because I shouldn't be expected to understand some odd language some freaks use on some weird website.



AngelRho
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22 Feb 2017, 6:31 am

Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It reads "What's the problem PeaceSells? Why are you so angry?".

Piece of cake.

I can't stand it when they use some obscure acronym and act as if I am supposed to know what it stands for. And I am not talking about stuff like "BTW".
cricketman123 wrote:
Guys can we stop arguing about these pointless things?

Well you know if someone wants to contribute to a thread it must at least be understandable.
AngelRho wrote:
I don't use many acronyms, though, and what I do use are specific to the dating world. It's common sense.

LDR: Long Distance Relationship
LTR: Long Term Relationship
NSA: No Strings Attached
FWB: Friends With Benefits (see NSA)
IAR: In A Relationship
ISO: In Search Of

Some I don't frequently use because, frankly, I see them as being low class:
BBW: Big Beautiful Woman
MILF: Mother I'd Love To F___
DDF: Drug/Disease Free
Any racial identifiers (can't we just get past this already?), for example:
AA: African American
BBC: Big Black Male Chicken
Any acronym that identifies truck-stop prostitutes. :lol:

If you want the full glossary, just look up any American personals ads. CL (that's Craig's List) is a great source of info on this, not to mention funnier than The Onion and great entertainment. Be warned, the free porn is pretty grotesque, so avoid posts that include pics. And for heaven's sake don't actually answer these ads. The massage therapist at the truck stop is anything but, and if you engage her "services," you won't be DDF for very long!
Some of these are very common but most of them are quite obscure. And isn't it ugly to talk like this?
I'm not gonna see a glossary because I shouldn't be expected to understand some odd language some freaks use on some weird website.

Then GTFO WrongPlanet, you troll, you!



Peacesells
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22 Feb 2017, 6:45 am

AngelRho wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It reads "What's the problem PeaceSells? Why are you so angry?".

Piece of cake.

I can't stand it when they use some obscure acronym and act as if I am supposed to know what it stands for. And I am not talking about stuff like "BTW".
cricketman123 wrote:
Guys can we stop arguing about these pointless things?

Well you know if someone wants to contribute to a thread it must at least be understandable.
AngelRho wrote:
I don't use many acronyms, though, and what I do use are specific to the dating world. It's common sense.

LDR: Long Distance Relationship
LTR: Long Term Relationship
NSA: No Strings Attached
FWB: Friends With Benefits (see NSA)
IAR: In A Relationship
ISO: In Search Of

Some I don't frequently use because, frankly, I see them as being low class:
BBW: Big Beautiful Woman
MILF: Mother I'd Love To F___
DDF: Drug/Disease Free
Any racial identifiers (can't we just get past this already?), for example:
AA: African American
BBC: Big Black Male Chicken
Any acronym that identifies truck-stop prostitutes. :lol:

If you want the full glossary, just look up any American personals ads. CL (that's Craig's List) is a great source of info on this, not to mention funnier than The Onion and great entertainment. Be warned, the free porn is pretty grotesque, so avoid posts that include pics. And for heaven's sake don't actually answer these ads. The massage therapist at the truck stop is anything but, and if you engage her "services," you won't be DDF for very long!
Some of these are very common but most of them are quite obscure. And isn't it ugly to talk like this?
I'm not gonna see a glossary because I shouldn't be expected to understand some odd language some freaks use on some weird website.

Then GTFO WrongPlanet, you troll, you!

I was talking about Craig's List and places like that.



AngelRho
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22 Feb 2017, 11:15 am

Peacesells wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It reads "What's the problem PeaceSells? Why are you so angry?".

Piece of cake.

I can't stand it when they use some obscure acronym and act as if I am supposed to know what it stands for. And I am not talking about stuff like "BTW".
cricketman123 wrote:
Guys can we stop arguing about these pointless things?

Well you know if someone wants to contribute to a thread it must at least be understandable.
AngelRho wrote:
I don't use many acronyms, though, and what I do use are specific to the dating world. It's common sense.

LDR: Long Distance Relationship
LTR: Long Term Relationship
NSA: No Strings Attached
FWB: Friends With Benefits (see NSA)
IAR: In A Relationship
ISO: In Search Of

Some I don't frequently use because, frankly, I see them as being low class:
BBW: Big Beautiful Woman
MILF: Mother I'd Love To F___
DDF: Drug/Disease Free
Any racial identifiers (can't we just get past this already?), for example:
AA: African American
BBC: Big Black Male Chicken
Any acronym that identifies truck-stop prostitutes. :lol:

If you want the full glossary, just look up any American personals ads. CL (that's Craig's List) is a great source of info on this, not to mention funnier than The Onion and great entertainment. Be warned, the free porn is pretty grotesque, so avoid posts that include pics. And for heaven's sake don't actually answer these ads. The massage therapist at the truck stop is anything but, and if you engage her "services," you won't be DDF for very long!
Some of these are very common but most of them are quite obscure. And isn't it ugly to talk like this?
I'm not gonna see a glossary because I shouldn't be expected to understand some odd language some freaks use on some weird website.

Then GTFO WrongPlanet, you troll, you!

I was talking about Craig's List and places like that.

Look, I'm probably one of the least politically correct people on WP. I make no bones about my views when it comes to discussing them, and I'm aware that people disagree and even get offended.

But what I have in common with others here is my whole life I've been lumped together with "some freaks" on "some weird website." While I'm old enough and thick-skinned enough not to take it personally, other "freaks" still struggle with the name-calling, the insults, and the bullying. Some even become suicidal. And they come here for support and community, not for reminders of how everyone else sees them.

You don't have to agree with me on anything. But PLEASE be a little more sensitive and respectful towards others in the language you choose and by the clarity you choose to use it.



AngelRho
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22 Feb 2017, 12:02 pm

Some other acros that come up:
MOOS: Member(s) of the opposite sex
PUA: Pick Up Artist
MRA: Men's Rights Activist (tangentially related to PUA)
SJW: Social Justice Warrior (polar opposite to PUA/MRA)

MOOS needs no explanation.

PUA is relevant to this subforum because advice from that community is directly related to dating and emphasizes ONS (one-night stands) and NSA (see previous post) relationships. The ultimate goal of PUA is LTR, with advice intended to build confidence and be more attractive. However, in practice PUAs take shortcuts and rely on psychological manipulation and coercion. Used consistently, PUA tactics ARE effective, even if they are morally or ethically questionable. My advice is often similar or related to PUA tactics, though I prefer a less diabolical approach.

I don't go very far with PUA, but what little I DO know is PUA literature is highly self-referential and elitist, almost an academic exercise. The culture is fascinating. If you think MY acros are hard, you really have no idea. PUAs really do have a unique language all their own. Good luck with that one!

MRA is a counter to certain ugly strands of feminism. Feminists have been abusive towards men in here in the past, although things are MUCH better than they used to be about 3 years ago. So from time to time these discussions come up. My view on feminism is either the nastier elements don't represent feminism, or women have largely abandoned the label as anything intellectually significant. I sometimes refer to that as "post-feminist" because while they are still pro-women in scope, they don't maintain a combative attitude nor do they hold traditional gender roles in contempt. If you want to break the glass ceiling, we love you. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom, we love you. But be true to yourself either way. Men are people, too, in this view, and there are those post-feminists who might even identify as MRA's themselves. MRA's are most at odds with the more outspoken, foaming-at-the-mouth man-haters and will, for instance, call into question such practices as automatically giving women primary custody of children after a divorce.

SJW is related to hypersensitive, bleeding-heart, snowflake liberalism and is an umbrella term that includes the aforementioned ugly side of feminism among other things. These are those people who make it a point to be offended by as much as possible. Relevant in discussions here because of the implication that men don't have the right to feel the way we do, that our opinions don't matter, and that our opinions are actually the minority, thus the antithesis to MRA's and more "conservative" schools of thought.



WantToHaveALife
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27 Feb 2017, 10:57 pm

i've been on 6 dates this year, all from Plentyoffish, but most of them were 1st dates that didn't result in a second date, i did have a second date with a girl last Friday, i consider that a milestone because most of the dates i've been on in my whole life have been first dates that didn't result in a second date



cricketman123
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02 Mar 2017, 12:54 pm

I DID IT, I DID IT.

Today has been the greatest day ever, i just found out i passed my exams on travel & tourism got a pass and a merit :D :P

When i took the bus back home a girl who says hi to me was on the same bus, she goes to the same college and we were chatting all the way from the bus stop to my stop i had to get off at, we were chatting about college, what we both want to do when we finish and it felt really great. She does level 3 sport and wants to someone who looks after sports people like with injury, we also laughed because her ex bf walked past and she didn't want him to get on the bus.

I mean look i didn't ask her out and i have no clue if she is single or not but for me to have chatted to her for 15 minuets on a bus in a public place was fantastic, i wasn't laughed at, she didn't think i was stupid and i didn't say the wrong thing. The strange thing is i didn't even care i don't have a girlfriend, she is a really nice friend and i would want her to stay that way dating or no dating lol.



AngelRho
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02 Mar 2017, 2:44 pm

cricketman123 wrote:
I DID IT, I DID IT.

Today has been the greatest day ever, i just found out i passed my exams on travel & tourism got a pass and a merit :D :P

When i took the bus back home a girl who says hi to me was on the same bus, she goes to the same college and we were chatting all the way from the bus stop to my stop i had to get off at, we were chatting about college, what we both want to do when we finish and it felt really great. She does level 3 sport and wants to someone who looks after sports people like with injury, we also laughed because her ex bf walked past and she didn't want him to get on the bus.

I mean look i didn't ask her out and i have no clue if she is single or not but for me to have chatted to her for 15 minuets on a bus in a public place was fantastic, i wasn't laughed at, she didn't think i was stupid and i didn't say the wrong thing. The strange thing is i didn't even care i don't have a girlfriend, she is a really nice friend and i would want her to stay that way dating or no dating lol.

Dude, that's AWESOME!

You're still on the right track. Keep moving forward.

The way to getting what you want is you need to work up to having experiences like that girl at least once every day. Not necessarily with the same girl, either.

In my experience, ex-bf's are a pain, especially if a girl makes a show of avoiding them. That means she has unresolved issues she either doesn't want to deal with or is unable to for various reasons. Especially if the ex really is a nice guy, this is the kind of girl who will ghost you on a whim.

Not saying your girl is like that, just trying to prepare you for the worst. I once dated a girl who changed bfs as easily as changing underwear. I shouldn't have been surprised when she dumped me, but I made the mistake of thinking I was different despite her history.

Your attitude is GREAT. Keep going! If you see her again, be sure to snag some contact info. You should be able to get a date with her in the next week or two. Let me know if you see her once or twice more and we'll discuss locking down that first date.



cricketman123
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02 Mar 2017, 2:49 pm

Yeah, if i'm honest i am happy keeping her as a friend at the moment, i know i said i really want a girlfriend but if she never became my gf i would be ok with that, i need to keep having experiences like that and put myself in that situation and i will have more friends that are girls and who knows maybe a partner



AngelRho
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02 Mar 2017, 5:38 pm

cricketman123 wrote:
Yeah, if i'm honest i am happy keeping her as a friend at the moment, i know i said i really want a girlfriend but if she never became my gf i would be ok with that, i need to keep having experiences like that and put myself in that situation and i will have more friends that are girls and who knows maybe a partner

Like I said, that's the absolute best attitude.

The goal right now isn't to get a gf. The goal is to get one date. Time to move the needle on this.

Timing is everything. Too much contact with you right away and you're "saturating the market" and killing your own value. Too little contact and you can't generate interest. Unless you always ride the bus together every day, keep your contact to about one day per week. If you already see her every day, don't try to see her outside that context.

Keep that up for the next two full weeks.

Meanwhile, set aside between £30 and £50. During this time period, ask her where she likes to eat, fav restaurant, coffee or tea, whatever gastronomic activity is currently in vogue over there. At some point in the third week, offer to meet her for lunch and buy her a meal. Carve out 90 minutes in your schedule--mainly to account for service and time to actually eat. Be prepared to wrap things up after an hour while giving an extra half hour for margin of error.

Oh...almost forgot...I don't observe Lent, but I have plenty Catholic friends who do. You'll want to be sensitive to dietary restrictions, if any, but a good salad never hurt anyone.

The above price quote should be more than enough for a meal for two at a respectable but reasonable establishment. Two dinners, a dessert, and hot drinks or two beer/wine. That will give you plenty room to enjoy yourselves without going over-the-top crazy with it. What I would do once I find out three or four options that you know she enjoys is call ahead or visit the website to get a good idea what to budget for, and whatever falls within that range, not to exceed £50 for two, is going to be your best bet. Always do your homework and overprepare. That will impress her the most and cause you the least amount of embarrassment.

Two weeks, man... You got this!