Friendly and smiling but gossipy and trouble making

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I work in a small place with an all woman staff, and there is one stereotype there that unnerves me (everywhere Ive worked tbh), the friendly and smiling but gossipy and trouble making woman. If I avoid her Im branded as odd and unsociable, so I take shorter breaks when I know I will have to interact with her.

Just curious if others have developed coping strategies for dealing with this type of person.

Don't give them any personal information and don't say anything bad about anyone. Just respond with "really?", "Look at the time. I have to go."

I've got one of these in the building where I live. Even worse is she's part of the management staff and so can ruin lives in one way or another. I've been told if she really takes a dislike to someone she can and has in the past managed to set things up that they got evicted by the landlords. This is how trouble-making she can be.

I cannot stand running into her. She's already tried to cause trouble for me, an episode that caused me untold distress and disruption when it was happening.

I agree with the above advice, don't share ANY personal information. They will warp even good things and turn it against you. Don't talk about others you both mutually know, to her. Don't talk about yourself.

Say "lovely day isn't it" and keep moving.

My one is the bane of my existence.

When my mother dealt with these people, she would avoid telling them things she felt were personal and if she didn't want anything being twisted, she wouldn't tell them about it. She also quit a secret sister group due to gossip and they thought she was very secretive because she didn't say much there about her personal life. Also when someone starts talking to her about someone saying negative things, she asks them if they have told them yet and they go "no" she tells them they have no right to say that behind their back without telling them first.

Omg I know exactly the type you're talking about, and they are some scary psycho mfers. Don't give her info, and don't talk about her to other people, either. If she asks you questions, pretend you like everyone and are completely ignorant about gossip. Don't tell her anything remotely interesting or unusual about yourself - she will remember and use it against you.

I KEEP running into these types and I'm getting very annoyed with it.
They are beyond toxic, they're f*****g nuclear fallout with the kind of harsh stuff they do to people around them for their own amusement in other peoples misery.

I can offer some tips here.
• Study everything you can about sociopaths and manipulative people. (Trust me, knowing how they tick helps wonders to avoid their little social 'traps').

• NEVER give personal info out to them, DO NOT add them to Facebook or any other social media, think of it like giving your personal info out to murderers. Just don't do it. They collect bits of info they can use against you at a later time.

• Refrain from telling them about your interests. They can make the most innocent of things sound like you're a basement weirdo to everyone else.

• If they tell you some gossip about someone you know, don't react to it, just keep your mouth shut because they will likely tell someone else your reaction and put a spin on it making it out to be like you were dramatic about it, fueling the fire they started. If you have to do a reaction just be like "oh I'm not bothered honestly, it's just drama."

• It sucks but you have to just be fake nice to them to avoid them. Don't let them even talk to you if you can avoid them.

• If they are causing problems within the work place to a bad extent, don't be afraid to tell the management, like seriously these people deserve to get into trouble. If you're branded a 'snitch', so what? All it'll do is make people not be gossips and dramatic around you so you can get on with your life in peace. I've reported so many of these girls in the past and they ended up either getting fired or demoted, which is their own stupid fault for being such a shitstirrer in the first place. Most of the time they didn't even know it was me that told on them anyway.

• Remember their goal is to get a reaction out of people (because they thrive on attention) and see people miserable, don't let them get a reaction out of you. It's basically very subtle bullying with included mind games.

Also, if anyone runs into these types of girls online on like mmo games or anything where you have to get along because they're in your guild or whatever, just block them and let your guild leader know you don't like them because of what they do. (It helps to not join huge guilds cause plenty of them linger in the huge guilds). Of course, it's not just girls that do this on the whole but it's very common among females from what I see.

I have a female manager who would probably fit into that category. I really like her but I would never tell her anything unless I wanted it banding about.

I've watched how she operates and to be honest I'm fascinated by her behaviour.

It's strange to view something so small in an extreme way but from a survival outlook it makes sense to hide the real you from this person and to be as uninteresting as possible. Better to be viewed as boring.
It's these type of subtleties that I have to actively think through.

I try not to let them know anything about me or anything that bothers me because they could use it against me later on.

I knew someone like that at a place I worked once a long time ago. She was always trying to pump people for personal info, and spent more time spreading gossip, including malicious stuff, than working--absolute fact--the office manager was constantly on her case to get her work done. For a while I was in charge of collecting money for the office club, for events at the office, mostly birthdays. I had charge of the account book showing who had paid up, and who hadn't. She would constantly tell me that she had paid, when I knew she hadn't. I had to go to her repeatedly to get her to pay up for each occasion. I finally gave up the position as office event treasurer, as it was interfering with my own work, mostly because of her. I also dropped out of the office club. With all the occasions involved, I was constantly having to contribute money I couldn't afford to lose, all for people I really didn't know well.

As for Facebook and other social sites, no sane person leaves their personal account wide open to the general public, or just lets anybody they just happen to know have access to their account. Access to your personal social account should be limited to family, close friends, and if you use the account for clubs, and office contacts, you can give them limited contact. If someone you don't want to give access to wants access, just tell them you only use it for family and closest friends. If they are offended, tough. I have never had a Facebook account, and don't want one. The closest I come to having a social site is my account here at WP, and when I comment at sites like Dear Abby, or at various help sites.

As for your personal info, there are several kinds of info you should never share unless someone actually "needs to know." That includes financial info, medical info, business info, and family info. If someone who doesn't need to know presses you for info, just tell them that's "need to know" info. If they still press for the info, ask them why they think they need to know, and point out that "wanting to know" is not the same as "need to know." If they still press, tell them the matter is closed, and then walk away or change the subject. If they are a coworker, ask them why they aren't busy doing their work.

Hope my suggestions help.

^Thanks for the advice , yes, being direct but polite is a perfectly acceptable response to this type of inappropriate nosiness.

People already offered good advice.

In my experience these types also try to get people to side with them against someone they have a problem with. So they might say "Oh my god, did you see what ___ was wearing? Is she working the streets tonight?" She would want you to be like "Yeah, that's not appropriate for work."

But it is better to say something positive about ___'s outfit. Like "I think she looks nice today. That skirt is really cute."

If you brush it off, or just politely laugh then you can be dragged into the mess by being told "OP agrees with me that you dress like a prostitute."

Don't be fooled by age either. I had coworkers in their 60's who gossiped with the teenagers and early twenties people.

Of course, that just depends on what your coworkers do or say. This is just from my experience.

If you add her to Facebook, make sure that any coworkers you add are shown a limited profile. It would be bad to share more with some than others. Or make an account specifically for work stuff.