is it ok to just not want a job anymore?

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The Unleasher
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17 Jan 2017, 8:56 am

This is the issue with many people who oppose social interaction. I can tell you the school systems make us memorise facts (which I'm good at), but when it gets to applying them...well, you know where I'm going. Anyway, I can use that analogy with life. We're taught some of the skills, but we're not taught how to apply them.

The only way someone can grow is by personal experience. If I wanted to start a garden and someone told me not to do so, because I'd make a bad gardener, why would I listen to them? I never tried it before, so how would I know if I'd be a good or a bad gardener? In the social situation, we're taught what to do. Laugh when you find a joke funny, smile and nod when you agree with someone, etc. We are never taught how to apply these things.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Jan 2017, 9:06 am

If you feel okay living on Benefits....and don't sponge off other people....I don't see anything wrong with not having a job.

As long as you're happy, and don't impose on others' happiness.



RetroGamer87
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17 Jan 2017, 3:57 pm

And don't let other people's negativity impose on yours. You're not a sponge.


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harkie100
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18 Jan 2017, 9:59 am

I lost my job last year but am now struggling. My job was dead end I suppose and I didn't learn much although I did it for 6 years and it paid for me to travel etc. which I never could do when I was younger. It was a loner job but I was respected and I could do it comfortably.

I have been applying for jobs for 6 months in a different field (the one I did my degree in). I have been to interviews where they have not asked a single technical question relating to my degree field, instead they ask stuff like "Tell me about a time you overcame a challenge to achieve a result". I mean wtf... it's almost as if they have come up with a way to make it even harder for people like us to get jobs. I even applied for a job in Asda driving a delivery van and was invited to a group assessment where I would be expected to participate in group activities, answer competency questions, act enthusiastically etc. I just wanted to drive a van

I have moved back to my parents,they're elderly now and they don't want me to waste my savings on rent. I am40 now (can't believe it) but yeah I am giving up. It seems the odds have been stacked against me for so long why should I keep trying? I can survive on benefits if necessary and have a decent life, it's just the constant threat of jobcentre / sanctions / jobhunting etc hanging over me that I can't deal with



RandomFox
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19 Jan 2017, 6:13 am

harkie100 wrote:

I have moved back to my parents,they're elderly now and they don't want me to waste my savings on rent. I am40 now (can't believe it) but yeah I am giving up. It seems the odds have been stacked against me for so long why should I keep trying? I can survive on benefits if necessary and have a decent life, it's just the constant threat of jobcentre / sanctions / jobhunting etc hanging over me that I can't deal with


Could you do some volunteering maybe or are you not allowed to do that while on Jobseeker's? When my child was small I volunteered with an old people's charity and I felt really appreciated, plus it was something else to put on my CV. It was just one day a week, but I loved it. They didn't have funding to offer anybody paid work at that time, so sadly I had to leave and... well, ended up as a pharmacy tech which is not ideal :? I'd be over the moon if I could work for a small charity again. I was doing website admin, newsletters, posters and leaflets, events management, day trips... that was fun.



harkie100
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19 Jan 2017, 11:35 am

Hi RandomFox, pharm tech sounds like a great job. Hard work I imagine but it's a career or at least a skill and a job title. There will always be jobs available for you to apply for so long as pharmacies exist! My problem is I don't really have a job title which makes it hard to get a job nowadays as the agencies all pigeonhole you based on your previous role. That's why I am trying to get back into what I used to do after graduating. I graduated aged 30 so wasn't so long ago. I am young looking and I don't put anything on my CV before uni so I maybe appear 35ish. I hope anyway lol.

I don't actually sign on yet because I have savings over the limit and would only be eligible for 6 months. I wish they would just give you your money and leave you alone. There aren't enough jobs anyway so what difference does it make? I am so depressed by the thought of the jobcentre and their bullying, I can't face doing that again unless I absolutely have to.

I've been living like a monk for 6 months, literally spending 3 quid a day max on food and toiletries, trying to make my redundancy and savings last as long as possible. You're right about charity work - definitely something to look into once I have exhausted all other options.



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20 Jan 2017, 3:30 pm

As an answer to the original guestion: yes, it's completely okay. Everyone gets tired sooner or later if they try long and hard without the preferred results. Still, I wouldn't recommend giving up completely on finding a job. Take a break if you need it and don't be too hard on yourself, but don't raise the white flag permanently. That would just make your years of trying meaningless.



Jenine
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03 Feb 2017, 12:37 pm

Belushi87 wrote:
i'm at the point in my life where i rather work from home then to work with the public. i've been looking for work for years only to get a job for a couple days before they tell me its not going to work out. so i gave up looking and i've been wanting to work from home since then. i don't know how i would work from home, but its better then working in retail and dealing with customers. i'm going to focus doing the things i love to do. i'm 30 this year, i need to focus on me. i don't want to work because i have to. i'm not going to be happy.

Just out of curiosity, did the bosses or managers you worked under knew you were Autistic before they fired you? Or did you not tell them about your disability?



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05 Feb 2017, 12:07 am

I realize I still put a quilt trip on myself for not finding a job. I worked for 16 years in a steel lab. I basically quit because of the bullying. I also spent some time teaching. I find it hard to admit that I don't have any job skills and I am competing for entry level jobs. I am living on my meager savings and I have to watch out that I don't just say fxxk it as I am finding out that employers are very reluctant to hire someone who is almost 61. Of course they won't come out and say "age" but they can tell how old you are if you put you graduated HS in 1975



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05 Feb 2017, 12:16 am

Sure just as long as you can support yourself without any welfare or any other payments from the state and any disability payments if you are capable of working.


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abdominalis
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05 Feb 2017, 2:32 am

I have learned to have a very thick skin in my working life (and social life? for that matter) What I have found is that I have had loads of barriers and excuses for not being promoted even tho I know that I am very good at my job. But it is very hard to keep going when surrounded by such negativity. I have realised to some extent that the negativity is more about management not being able to figure me out and this clouds all other assessment of my ability.

I love my job but I have pretty much given up on the prospect of promotion, I tried it once, but I could not maintain the "circles of friends" needed to move up the ladder. Now I am trying to figure out what to do next, I would prefer to work for myself but I know for it to be successful it can not involve anything in the way of sales and face to face contact. But I think that for long term sanity I need to have a plan before the loathing of going into work becomes too much.



harkie100
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05 Feb 2017, 10:34 am

Aspinator wrote:
I realize I still put a quilt trip on myself for not finding a job. I worked for 16 years in a steel lab. I basically quit because of the bullying. I also spent some time teaching. I find it hard to admit that I don't have any job skills and I am competing for entry level jobs. I am living on my meager savings and I have to watch out that I don't just say fxxk it as I am finding out that employers are very reluctant to hire someone who is almost 61. Of course they won't come out and say "age" but they can tell how old you are if you put you graduated HS in 1975



Do you have to put your age or date of graduation on your CV? I'm a bit younger but I only put my last 5 years of jobs on my CV for basic jobs. What about Uber or other driving jobs? They don't normally care too much about age or work history and driving jobs are a bit more socially respectable for older guys (if you care about that)



Aspinator
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05 Feb 2017, 10:55 am

The car I have has got to last me for many years and I would be hesitant about putting the miles and wear/tear on it.



horseguy2u
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11 Feb 2017, 6:11 am

A job is a relatively new idea. Before the Industrial Revolution there were no jobs as we know them. If something was manufactured before then it was done on a piece work basis. For example if someone had a clothing business they would buy cloth and take it to someone who would cut it into the correct shaped pieces. Then they would take the cut pieces to other people to sew them into garments. Manufacturing was accomplished by putting out the work into the community. Also at that time in history most people were farmers and some were tradesmen. Tradesmen had apprentices, a one on one relationship, but neither the tradesman or apprentice had a job as we think of it. They moved around individually and made a living.

After steam power became available factories with equipment became possible. It was then, about 250 years ago, people who worked came to the factory and had a job. Since humans have existed for about 200,000 years and jobs for 250, the concept of a job is a new idea and maybe not a good one. We are still working out the concept of a job in human culture and it might turn out that jobs are a very impractical and brief phenomena. For example, commuting to jobs ruins our air with smog. Jobs make it very difficult to raise a family and have many other drawbacks. With the invention of the 3D printer and robots, jobs as we think of them might be something of an short lived and expendable concept in the course of human existence.

Therefore the stress people feel about jobs could be a natural reaction to something that basically is not a good idea. We might be better served by thinking of other ways to develop an income. With the internet we have many alternative means of making money. For selling something we make or find there is ebay and esty as well as others. There are gig opportunities on craigslist. Making money does not have to mean a job. It won't be long before jobs become a minor means of having an income. So, if you can't do a normal job, maybe you are just a head of the cultural curve.


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madbutnotmad
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06 Jul 2019, 6:27 pm

I think that most societies under value people with Asperger Syndrome.
All due to our generally poor verbal, physical communication skills, logic, rigidness of thought
and low capacity for stress.

Having this general dynamic of symptoms makes us generally more suitable to work on our own,
and not be "team players". because when we work in teams, we usually fall out with people or
screw something up due to out Asperger problems.

However, some of our big strengths is that we are generally very hard working, patient, are logical,
have a good eye for detail and often are able to think out the box.

Taking this into consideration, i think that many of us techy aspies would be ideal candidates for working on
our own projects on various techy areas, such as designing and developing IoT devices and solutions,
and other similar technical, innovative and creative projects.

If i had access to money i would use it to fund genuine individuals for their projects while they did not work,
giving them money to buy equipment, materials and components and training.

And then monitor to see what comes from it.
A good assertive high functioning ASD sufferer, who isn't afraid of putting in time, but who may not be suitable
for the conventional work place may be capable of real innovation and ultimately may be able to use their Asperger attributes to actually make commercial products or even research, that can generate income in the long run and create a return in revenue for any sponsors.

But alas, no one has the vision to help us broken communicators, as they listen to us speak and automatically assume we aren't capable of any thing of worth or too much of a risky investment.

In the area that i live in, someone like Einstein is more likely to be forced in to work, perhaps after the government invests loads of money giving them training in menial labour and low level jobs, than they are to give such people a faction of the costs they invest for training so that the same people can distance or home learn.

With the official training my local government pay good money for not actually really guaranteeing even a job placement or employment in the long term. This to me just proves what idiots the people involved in governing these areas are.


But unfortunately, the people in power do not necessarily have high IQ's, even if they have good communication and good manipulation skills (the liars, thieves, con men, slanderers, bullies usually float to the top, just like scum in a pond).

Welcome to society! have a nice day!



nick007
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09 Jul 2019, 11:41 am

I know this post is a couple years old & the OP probably isn't around anymore but I think this topic could be relevant to some of us here so I won't feel bad about posting on it.

gee_dee wrote:
However if I threw the towel in now I'd feel guilty for not trying, for becoming a lazy layabout who sponges off the government and society. I'm just wondering if it's acceptable, at a certain point, to go "there's nothing out there so I might as well try to enjoy unemployed life as much as possible"...
I relate to this. I have various physical & mental disabilities besides Aspergers & I've struggled majorly to find work. Basically the jobs I am capable of doing well & have done are minimum wage type jobs like dish-washing, floor-cleaning, & custodial. I struggled for a couple years to find work before I got my 1st job because the recession had started & I had no work experience or certifications or college degrees. It might of been OK in my teens & if I was going to skewl but it's not for someone in their early 20s who's not in college. Even the minimum wage jobs that most any high-skewl dropout could do(I didn't drop out & do have a diploma) get hundreds of applications & the companies don't have time to review them all. Something needs to stand out on the apps like work experience(even if it's completely unrelated) or college degrees(I've known some people in retail who had college degrees & no major disabilities). Simply having a name, address, & social security number on job apps does NOT attract employers. I only got my 1st job cuz an employment organization lined it up for me. Anyways I only worked 3 jobs & worked about 38 months. I struggled majorly to find work even after I had work experience. My parents(especially mom) were on my back a lot about how I was lazy even thou I was doing my best to find work. I come from a very hard-core conservative area(deep south) & thankfully my parents aren't conservative but lots in that area are. Society can certainly be hard on people who are on benefits & not working. It's even worse for a single guy who desperately wants a relationship like I did. I was basically seen as a loser in the dating realm. I worked alot of overtime when allowed to & I was doing my very best to find a job working within my disabilities & limitations so I kinda know I'm not the lazy leach sucking on the teat of the hard-working American taxpayer that the politicians & society make me out to be. After I last worked my SSI got changed into Social Security Disability & Social Security is kinda like an insurance program you pay into when you work(Social Security taxes) & it covers you after you retire or quit working due to disabilities & the ladder one is what happened with me. Plus the money I get is based on how much I paid into with Social Security taxes & the taxes were higher when I had a higher income which was when I was working more hours. I know I really shouldn't feel guilty about being on this program.

I quit looking for work after I got in my 2nd relationship. We were long distance(met on this forum) & I planned to move in with her. I hated my area & felt trapped cuz it was rural, I cant drive, & there really wasn't any public transportation so I had to rely on my parents to take me anywhere which frustrated them. Anyways that relationship didn't work out so I started looking for work again shortly after & shortly after that I got in my current relationship. We also met on this forum & were long distance at 1st. Like me she's disabled in various physical & mental ways. She's on some benefits including housing so we moved in together after she spent a week or so with me & my parents & I spent a week or so with her a couple times. I quit looking for work after our relationship started. I planned to look for work after we moved in together but I never did. I really should of thou but I had a lot of adjusting to do & Cass needs me around some. I don't think she could really handle me having a full time job & if I cant do that, it really only pays for me to get a part time job where my pay is low enough so I could still keep my benefits. Getting a job like that is harder to find & for some reason I never got around to looking. I'm not really sure how to look for that kinda job that I can do & I've gotten kinda used to not working I guess. There's things about not working I like & I figure while I'm not working I might as well enjoy myself so that may be some of the reason I'm not motivated to try. Plus I think I might be using Cass as an excuse not to by thinking she needs me around a lot when she probably doesn't need me around as much. She doesn't really have a schedule & I don't either & me & her aren't always on the same schedules anyways & sometimes she's awake the whole time I'm sleeping so she might be able to handle me working a few hours a day. I know I really should get a part-time job cuz we have a lot of debt & say an extra five hundred a month would gradually bail us out. Plus I'd be paying more in Social Security taxes so my disability money would very slowly increase. We're trying to move rite now thou. There's various things me & her don't like about this place & Cass kinda needs to be closer to her family. Being with different family members each for a couple days at a time every month is hard on her & she would rather if she could just spend a few hours a day with em more days which I understand. We're on some housing waiting lists & she needs to fill out more apps but needs to look into some things 1st. It really doesn't pay for me to look for a job now if there's a chance we could move in a few months but we started the process of trying last year & Cass moves slowly with things & so do housing places that have waiting lists. Maybe I'm making another excuse to not try looking for work rite now IDK. I'm sure after we move I'll have adjusting to do again. Oh well the job search can wait.


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