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wrongcitizen
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15 Dec 2016, 1:33 am

So I am in HS, and I have failed, with a 0%, every year since second grade. I am a complete failure when it comes to mathematical thinking and I don't know why there aren't others like me. I understand many people with Aspergers Syndrome are good at math but I feel like, being as low functioning as I am, my Autistic disorder has effected me in an area vital to mathematic, and in consequence, abstract or irrational thought. Math just comes across as illogical and irrational to me. And this is all worsened by my INTENSE and SEETHING hatred of the American school system. I am taught by 100 year old teachers who are so traditional they try to rid me of evil demons when I fail a math problem. I just simply don't understand this! WHY CANT I LEARN THIS s**t! I go insane when I even think of picking up a math problem. I really REALLY don't understand it, and it is 100% chaotic. I don't even know what math is suppose to be honestly. I understand when you actually apply it to something but when it's just there for the f*****g sake of making some idiots who can't do anything else (mathematicians), who force it on the rest of us to enforce their own egos, it really doesn't make sense anymore. I want these idiots gone, I want math to have meaning and importance, and excuse my massive tirade because I'm literally on fire right now as I've just given up on doing some simple problems. I cant even describe the amount of frustration or irritation I get from this kind of pseudo-science. I literally punched my wall, left my knuckles bleeding over a damn math problem. It's so embarrassing and its honestly ruining my life, but I just don't know what to do and I've been forced through this LITERAL torture for years! Someone please help. Oh, just a side note, I've Aced all my other more logical concrete classes such as English and History, and though my math curse has kept me from getting into any colleges or anything like that, and restricted me to the most menial positions in society, I'm perfectly capable when it comes to anything else.

The most frustrating part is instead of getting me some help, ANY help, I am forced into a class with years younger than me, that's just low school system. What you gonna do next huh? Oh yea School System, you're going to keep me fromg getting employed! (THe school doesn't allow people who don't have a B or up from getting jobs) I have a sort of hate/hate relationship with this damn system, I've been forced and beaten through it, had every ounce of imagination and aspiration stifled bythis rotten decayed conservative trap, and I can't even begin to explain how many problems have arisen out of my failure to be able to communicate at all.

Oh, and one last REALLY important thing, my difficulty isn't with the damn math problems themselves, or applying them to real scenarios, no, it's with understanding the DAMN TEACHER!! !! Yea, that's it, I said it! It's that ******* fault! I apologize for how low I've stooped in this but I literally cannot tolerate this anymore. I broke down infront of the class with rage, my ownfaimly members who all have straight As, so hopefully you can imagine how i'm feeling due to this. I'm completely helpless to my current situation but I'm convinced I can actually change the system. I'm totally lost.



pontyrogof
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15 Dec 2016, 8:10 am

Hi wrongcitizen,

You are obviously in many ways a mental giant compared to your mainstream surroundings. I am a retired English teacher, high school and college level, who was finally able to get math when I took college courses in electrical circuits and combinational logic. But because I was not already in the habit of doing arithmetic in my head, I was not fast enough to pass the college algebra course the first time, even with a graphing calculator.

Please do not give up. These days many colleges that specialize in learning disabilities do exist, the better ones from the perspective that there are no learning disabilities, only teaching disabilities. Have you any interest in music theory? What experience do you have with programming languages? Please do not believe your obstacle is abstract thought in general! You deserve a personal tutor or some other intervention and the laws may be on your side about this. They definitely were when I was a public school teacher in TX. I taught Special Education for years, even though the labels blew the coals of my own internal rage white hot.

Edit: If I were your tutor, I would need you to verbalize, orally or in writing, all the different directions your mind goes in when faced with any paper-pencil math problem, step by step. I would never presume to try to help you unless I got to know your personal thinking style. I am not talking about Common Core the way the imbeciles apply it! Does that make sense?


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wrongcitizen
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17 Dec 2016, 4:36 am

pontyrogof wrote:
Hi wrongcitizen,

You are obviously in many ways a mental giant compared to your mainstream surroundings. I am a retired English teacher, high school and college level, who was finally able to get math when I took college courses in electrical circuits and combinational logic. But because I was not already in the habit of doing arithmetic in my head, I was not fast enough to pass the college algebra course the first time, even with a graphing calculator.

Please do not give up. These days many colleges that specialize in learning disabilities do exist, the better ones from the perspective that there are no learning disabilities, only teaching disabilities. Have you any interest in music theory? What experience do you have with programming languages? Please do not believe your obstacle is abstract thought in general! You deserve a personal tutor or some other intervention and the laws may be on your side about this. They definitely were when I was a public school teacher in TX. I taught Special Education for years, even though the labels blew the coals of my own internal rage white hot.

Edit: If I were your tutor, I would need you to verbalize, orally or in writing, all the different directions your mind goes in when faced with any paper-pencil math problem, step by step. I would never presume to try to help you unless I got to know your personal thinking style. I am not talking about Common Core the way the imbeciles apply it! Does that make sense?


Hello, I very much appreciate your response.
So to start off with, I'm slightly confused on what you mean by mental giant. Also, as I reassess this passage I've come to notice how bad of a time I picked to come here and vent, because now that I read over this I feel I would never say many of these things, and I have a particularly bad habit with making split end decisions like this one. I have pretty large interest in both music theory and a bit of a lesser one in programming, so exactly what you've suggested. I also understand what you mean in terms of abstract thought. My difficulty seems to be in gauging it, but not necessarily experiencing or even feeling it, which I'm capable of doing.
I again appreciate your response, it was very helpful, especially now that I look back and see how negative my original post was. I'm often an optimistic person with a positive view of the world, but when this happens it seems like I become a whole new person. Thanks for the response.



pontyrogof
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17 Dec 2016, 8:02 am

Hi wrongcitizen,

Your observations and the way you expressed them reminded me very much of past students who were made to feel stupid by a stupid system, yet they all had the brains to see exactly how the system was stupid...so in that way they were indeed mental giants compared to the automatons who perpetuated a system that did the opposite of what it was supposed to do, crush instead of elevate, drown instead of inspire.

This forum thrives on posts like yours. Venting for yourself can result in the by-product of venting for many others who have not yet found their own words. We neuro atypicals are so prone to self negation that we do not see how chastising ourselves for being negative is like two negatives do not make a positive. I am often trapped in this vicious cycle myself! Now I must resist chastising myself for telling you anything you already know.


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Challenges: hyperosmia, hyperacusis, migraine, dysbiosis, anxiety, sulfur and glutamate intolerance, anorexia, dysnumia, ocd, hypergraphia, novelty seeking, derealization, depersonalization, hyperfocus, chronic vitamin D and magnesium deficiencies, hypermobility, orthorexia
Strengths: empathy, mechanical ability, openness, music, design, composition, language, Socratic teaching method


Chronos
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08 Feb 2017, 11:22 pm

wrongcitizen wrote:
So I am in HS, and I have failed, with a 0%, every year since second grade. I am a complete failure when it comes to mathematical thinking and I don't know why there aren't others like me. I understand many people with Aspergers Syndrome are good at math but I feel like, being as low functioning as I am, my Autistic disorder has effected me in an area vital to mathematic, and in consequence, abstract or irrational thought. Math just comes across as illogical and irrational to me. And this is all worsened by my INTENSE and SEETHING hatred of the American school system. I am taught by 100 year old teachers who are so traditional they try to rid me of evil demons when I fail a math problem. I just simply don't understand this! WHY CANT I LEARN THIS s**t! I go insane when I even think of picking up a math problem. I really REALLY don't understand it, and it is 100% chaotic. I don't even know what math is suppose to be honestly. I understand when you actually apply it to something but when it's just there for the f*****g sake of making some idiots who can't do anything else (mathematicians), who force it on the rest of us to enforce their own egos, it really doesn't make sense anymore. I want these idiots gone, I want math to have meaning and importance, and excuse my massive tirade because I'm literally on fire right now as I've just given up on doing some simple problems. I cant even describe the amount of frustration or irritation I get from this kind of pseudo-science. I literally punched my wall, left my knuckles bleeding over a damn math problem. It's so embarrassing and its honestly ruining my life, but I just don't know what to do and I've been forced through this LITERAL torture for years! Someone please help. Oh, just a side note, I've Aced all my other more logical concrete classes such as English and History, and though my math curse has kept me from getting into any colleges or anything like that, and restricted me to the most menial positions in society, I'm perfectly capable when it comes to anything else.

The most frustrating part is instead of getting me some help, ANY help, I am forced into a class with years younger than me, that's just low school system. What you gonna do next huh? Oh yea School System, you're going to keep me fromg getting employed! (THe school doesn't allow people who don't have a B or up from getting jobs) I have a sort of hate/hate relationship with this damn system, I've been forced and beaten through it, had every ounce of imagination and aspiration stifled bythis rotten decayed conservative trap, and I can't even begin to explain how many problems have arisen out of my failure to be able to communicate at all.

Oh, and one last REALLY important thing, my difficulty isn't with the damn math problems themselves, or applying them to real scenarios, no, it's with understanding the DAMN TEACHER!! ! ! Yea, that's it, I said it! It's that ******* fault! I apologize for how low I've stooped in this but I literally cannot tolerate this anymore. I broke down infront of the class with rage, my ownfaimly members who all have straight As, so hopefully you can imagine how i'm feeling due to this. I'm completely helpless to my current situation but I'm convinced I can actually change the system. I'm totally lost.


Ask the school district to have the school psychologist do a learning assessment on you if they haven't already, and if they have, ask them to go over it with you so you know what your weak points and strong points are.

I struggled in arithmetic and was held back in math by people who thought a "sound mathematical foundation" would do me good, however this was actually detrimental to me, because, as it turned out, I excelled at more advanced math, and I was wasting my time trying to memorize times tables when I could have been learning trig, algebra, and calculus.

It doesn't matter that I still struggle to do arithmetic in my head, because I went into a STEM field where the calculations can be so complex that calculators are used anyway, and at least I know my answer is always correct.



TiredMom
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14 Jul 2017, 12:21 pm

Hi. Better late than never. Several things to think about:
(1) Temple Grandin was unable to get through HS algebra, but went on to be a Professor and famous autism advocate
(2) There is a leaning disorder called dyscalculia, which basically means trouble doing math. There are accommodations for that--if you don't have them, you should insist that you get them.
(3) As someone else said: just because you can't do math now doesn't mean you never will. Don't give up on your hopes for further education and future employment.



Kiriae
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14 Jul 2017, 4:48 pm

Accommodations for dyscalculia: https://www.understood.org/en/school-le ... yscalculia

I never had any trouble with math and I never personally met anyone who would 0% the tests as long as they actually tried to solve something but I did teach some classmates and they got from 20-30% to 50-70% under my guidance. So believe everything is possible with a good tutor. Did you try asking some good student to teach you?

Where exactly does your trouble start?
2+3=?
3*5=?
6*7=?
12:6=?
64:8=?
0,5+0,25=?
0,5*0,25=?
0,5:0,25=?
1/2+1/4=?
4^2=?
√25=?
If you can do the above you are not bad at all. If you don't - it follows very simple rules that can be memorized. And that are used in harder questions - so you need to have this memorized in order to solve the latter.

√27=?
X equations?
Geometry?
Text questions?
Well, here the trouble starts - but with some tutoring you should be able to deal with them.

Harder stuff?
Why even bother?



Mr.Robot
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14 Jul 2017, 6:42 pm

I have to admit that i didn't have the faintest idea what was going on in mathematics during HS. In fact i was quite intimidated by it, because teachers and classmates knew how to make me feel like an idiot.

Whenever i came home, without anyone else bothering me, though, i was able to teach myself algebra, geometry, trigonometry, etc. within two months without any problem whatsoever. It has always been the social component that made it impossible for me to learn properly, so i had to find a way to study efficiently at my own pace. It turned out that i was actually quite talented at it. Now mathematics is the only topic that really calms me down whenever i feel anxious.


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