What is my "Kirchoff Syndrome" exactly?

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Greetings. I am a twenty-year-old male with Asperger's Syndrome who is new to these forums, and I come to you with a desperate request for possible intellectual assistance and help in understanding myself, my brain, and my mind further as I tumble downwards in my psychological condition, each and every day. It is so bizarre and unlike anything else that has ever been documented, so I named it after my last name - "Kirchoff Syndrome."

This deterioration of my mind that I speak of began three and a half years ago, in the summer of 2013. Before that point in time, I was a very happy and healthy student and athlete with lots of compassion and ambition; everything seemed to be going well and I was achieving euphoria for the first time. Unfortunately, by July of 2013, I was suddenly beginning to experience depersonalization, anxiety, and a sense that everything good in my mind (from altruism to my intellect and my running endurance, etc.) was about to contract and eventually vanish altogether. Eventually, by the end of 2013, the happy days of the spring were nothing but a now-sad memory, and I was beginning to experience depression as well, which really got stronger around March of 2014. I still did well in school during this early period of decline, but homework gradually got harder and harder to do well in, as was my ability to run consistently for long periods of time. The unfortunate reality? There was no apparent cause to either (the depression actually and temporarily left by this time), and my life began to lose quality each day. Finally, by the fall of 2014, the depression was returning, and the struggles with my cognitive endurance got so bad that we went to the neuro-consult of a local hospital, and after I admitted to having suicidal ideation to the psyche team that got to me first, I was sent to a adolescent psyche ward for about ten days. This would help seriously dent the anxiety and depression that I had been suffering with for a year, and for a spawn of nearly ten months, calm seemed to be slowly returning to our lives. Yet, the worst was yet to come. By the Summer of 2015, it was apparent that that self-sense of personality decline that I had felt two years prior was, in fact, reality - In July of 2015, I even joined a far-right online group; this was not like me at all, because I was very liberal and compassionate just a few years prior to this. I was definitely not angry or agitated over something when I joined this group - this whole thing is a mystery to me to this day. And guess what? The personality degradation kept on getting worse and worse. I was increasingly short-tempered and grumpy over small things that never once would have bothered me at all.

Finally, by the spring of this year, I felt that my love for my parents itself was beginning to disintegrate, and my whole empathy and compassion would soon fall apart with it, from a subjective, qualitative point of view. Objectively, I definitely am much less altruistic in my demeanor than I was as a sixteen-year-old, three years ago. I am baffled as to what is going on with me, but I do have a strong belief that adolescence has brought upon a major cognitive change to my frontal lobes, and based on its description as an epicenter of this rewiring, I think that my ventromedial prefrontal cortex is the primary area most responsible for inducing this personality/thought/intellectual change in me. What do you think? Is there something that I have missed? Where exactly in my brain is the corruption of connectivity located? Do you think there is hope for me in the future, by any chance? Is there anything for me to be happy about?

I do not believe that "Kirchoff Syndrome" is simply some pervasive form of depression or anxiety; I do not feel any real negative emotions whatsoever!

Thank you so much for your time, guys.

I am not a clinician by any means and it is not my intention to contradict you, but I do believe you are confusing the colloquial meaning of the word "depression" from the clinical. Because of the way we colloquially use the word (e.g. "I'm so depressed that I had to miss out on Fred's party because I had to work.") we tend to equate depression with negative feelings-- sadness, grief, etc. And it's true depressed people are often sad and/or dejected.

But the clinical definition also includes feelings of emptiness and disconnection. According to the Mayo clinic site, in teens it can appear as constant irritability). I know when I was in my teens I used to get incredibly angry at anything and everything before falling into a deep, dark funk. I never cried or felt sadness in any way, just empty and disconnected from everything I had just railed against-- whatever that was at the time.

So you certainly could be at least partially experiencing depression, but the way to find out is to go to a therapist with whom you feel comfortable and discuss things, then go from there.

Look at my following thread:
http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=334276

Is my post similar to Kirchoff Syndrome?