Parents always hesitant to lend me money

Post Reply New Topic

I am a student and I have no job because of several issues I need to sort out with myself, and I am paying very expensive rent and bills where I am staying, and the loan from Student Finance I'm getting is not enough to cover all the rent, bills and food. Basically I have no money coming in, it's all blowing away.
Now everytime I ask for money from parents (even if my bank balance is near zero) they always just seem unwilling to give me money, and its something I always dread asking. I'm not one of those crazy students who blows their loan on things they shouldn't, it just does not cover everything.
One of my housemate says their parents give them a few hundred a month and their parents don't even ask for the money back and are kind in the way they let them off. My parents don't send me anything in support. My housemate think its unfair my parents don't take in mind my difficulty to get a job because of severe anxiety issues, and my dad keeps going on to me to pay him hundreds back because I borrowed it for rent. But If I pay them back I lose a quarter of the loan and it has to last around a few months (not forgetting food, bills), then I have to ask more for money and it just keeps building up. It just stresses me out I hate this conflict.

Do parents usually let off for students when it comes to living at college and money or do most usually want it back? And how can I convince my parents to be more understanding and promt when it comes to lending money when I need it? They will always find a way to delay it.

The problem is, if you don't have money to pay it back then it isn't borrowing.

And you've proven that already. You've already 'borrowed' a lot from them that you're admitting you can't pay back.

If you can't afford to live now, 'borrowing' is actually just going to be a continuous taking of money.

And if you can't work, what is your plan for after university? More 'borrowing' from them for eternity?

Fact is, what other parents do isn't the issue and is irrelevant. YOUR parents don't want to continue to fund you, or they are unable to.

You can't just expect someone else's money. You aren't entitled to it.

I was thinking that as well.

What makes you so sure your parents even have the ability to consistently borrow you money that you aren't dependable as far as paying back? You might have to look at options like finding cheaper housing, or moving back with your parents if they'll allow it until you can get more on your feet. Also I hate to say this but if you have issues that prevent you working, unless you can actually resolve those whilst going to college...how are you going to get a job once you graduate college? The loans are kind of a debt trap if you don't have a solid plan as to how to go about getting a job with your degree.

I mean it sounds like you are living beyond your means and you're parents cannot afford to just endlessly give you money to cover whatever you can't afford.

Others have already stated most of my thoughts.

I'd just like to add that parents are under no obligation to give or lend their adult children money, under any circumstances. It's nice for some adults if their parents can afford to give or lend them money - good for them, but parents are Not required to give their adult children money. Period.

That said, I've enjoyed & appreciated the financial assistance of my parents. While I was studying full time, they allowed me to continue living in their home rent free - that is what they could afford to give & I appreciated it. I attended business school with others who's parents bought them a few houses, a handful of cars, and gave them virtually endless spending money. That's what they could afford & wanted to give their children. Other parents have plenty of money but don't give or lend it to their kids for various reasons.

I just heard a story today about an adult I know who doesn't speak to his mother basically because she has accumulated wealth and doesn't give him money to spend on himself, his wife, and kids. That's appalling to me. Greedy little s**t should appreciate his mother no matter what. It's sad that he expects payments from her as if she owes him a perpetual allowance.

Meanwhile, in my family, myself and my siblings have always told our parents that if they have any money go ahead and spend it on yourselves in retirement vs. denying yourselves a vacation or w/e in order to leave an inheritance. The Sun will rise & set every day and we'll make our own ways through life, rich or poor, we'll be okay. And to add to that, IF I am much more financially successful than I am today (*when) one of the things I'd like to do is give my parents money as without them and their support I'd have never been enabled to build any wealth in the first place.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Regardless of the money... Have you addressed the anxiety? Perhaps going to a couseler at school can help. Also, I don't know if you mentioned work study. At college when I came across a roadblock in a work study job I had worked at for 3 years, I asked the person who was tasked with assigning jobs at university if I could have a new one. She gave me a list and I changed to another job for a year and a half. The university I went to had to give me some special accommodations according to my disability within measure (basically I had a little more leeway because I told them of my disability). Back then the doctors thought I had schizophrenia. Which, I hear is commonly misdiagnosed for autistic people.