Asperger Attachment

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Anyone with Asperger Syndrome ever has someone or some people who you are very deeply attached and obsessed with? and are irreplaceable in your life? like a person or people who you will always choose over anybody else, even over your family.but not something romantic attachment...and if you ever had, how did you cope without them in your life?

Last edited by sleepingpancake on 27 Dec 2016, 1:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have a person like that, but they are within my family. However, I feel that we are our own separate family, and everybody else is external (the rest of my family treat me badly, but it's not just that). I have dreamed many times about sacrificing myself for her sake in various nightmares, and I think that I would if I was actually in that situation. If it would not be motivated by selflessness, it would be motivated by selfishness, because I honestly don't think that I would be able to keep living without her.

My cousin who's my age and we were raised together. We've always had a very tight bond. When I was little and severely autistic, he was always able to penetrate that.

One theory on Autism is the Intense world theory, which hypothesizes that people who suffer from Autism experience the world in an amplified or magnified way.

Relationships can thus become more intense than normal people, and the loss of losing people for whatever reason can also be magnified.

I have experiences extreme loss when losing people in the past. Most notably, my first serious girlfriend (whom i lost due to her infidelity and maliciousness). I also suffered extreme grief when my older and older brother died of a drug overdose.

I feel that I experienced grief to an amplified level than others whom i spoke with. How did I cope. Well, to be completely honest, i didn't cope very well at the time. To make things worse, my ex-wife whom i was married to at the time took the opportunity at the time of my extreme vulnerability to violently assault me and to try and get me to commit suicide (even though i had never done anything to her to warrant for her to do such a thing).

So yes, this was an extremely trying time and i feel i was lucky that i didn't turn violent towards her as i probably would be in prison now for murder or similar.

I am afraid i do not believe their is any simple answer to this problem but time is the greatest healer.
The only other ways that i read of that can help a person to overcome attachment is through adjusting ones own perception and to practice letting go in meditation. Not that this is an easy process either.

Yes - one when I was a teenager and another when I was in my twenties. Neither are in my life any more. It faded away. My son, also autistic, has someone like that in his life too.

Yeah. There is a person, kinda a friend, kinda a girlfriend, who is kinda like that. She recently got in a fight with my sister on the phone. Cant deal with either of them right now. Its a long story.

Yes, but it wasn't sexual.

Yes and that happens from time to time. Me obssessing over people like that usually takes from months to decades.

I am not usually attached to anyone but now and then I "pick on" a particular person for whatever reason and build very firm bounds with him/her to the point of obsession. As I know that could be annoying I try not to nag people too much these days but when I was younger I just couldn't refrain from that, I would become very impulsive and go unimaginable lengths to be next to that mate/girl/whoever.

I made many solid same-sex friends in the past with people who felt like the same about me but as for the girls, they were never as receptive. Then if I felt rejected I would act like an incurably pathological, old-fashioned, textbook romantic trying to gain the love and attention of these women and just couldn't help it! As time went by I grew colder and colder towards women and today I think of them with much sadness because from what it looks like they seem to be able to read there's something "wrong" with me from something permanently carved on my very face.

I could add to these passionate obsessions examples of both long-term and temporary fixation on writers, musicians, actors that for some reason "ignited a spark" in me. In real life though, these people I become attached to are usually one at a time, at most two.

Yes, especially when I was very young.

I remember when I was about 6 or 7 being obsessed with the character Jimmy from HR Puffenstuff. I would imitate his actions, singing, dancing, even his voice-- which was a problem since his accent was British and I am from the US.

I dropped the accent fairly quickly but kept the other things up.

Throughout my childhood I would glom on to certain people-- mostly boys-- who I wanted to be like. Sometimes my actions were misinterpreted or the attention became uncomfortable because I would be so persistent. I wanted to learn to be like them, and I had no idea why. In hindsight it's easy to see that I was trying to learn how to act "normal" by imitation-- which continued well into adulthood. This was decades before there was such a thing as a spectrum so it was just one more item on the list of "issues" I had as a child and then later an adult-- although it was a lot less obvious as an adult as I learned how to observe people from a distance and imitate from that.

what was it based then?

I was obsessed with countless people throughout my life up to this point. This was usually one person at a time, one I deemed very special and became inseparable and attached to for a long time before parting different ways. Every now and then I would find a mind-like, we would become like brothers, he would leave me and so on.



Yes, exactly like that, such obsessions were not a romantic thing just a very intense bound with a mate. Anyway when it comes to the opposite sex and romantic involvement, I had a fair deal of unrequited loves that I have to say were intense obsessions in their own right.



It was very painful in my childhood and youth, really felt like a big chunk of me was chopped off and thrown away. As the years went by these kinds of obsessions became less and less intense. I reckon this was learnt through a lot of suffering and coming to know that the world is a very unfair place.

It is hard to read this thread because these kinds of attachments have led to such horrendous pain. I would rather have no friends for the rest of my life than have another one of these attachments.

Yes. I have become attached to my grandparents, certain childhood toys, and Lily Tomlin. I have lost 3 out of 4 of my grandparents and losing them was one of the worst things in my life. When my grandma died, we had to sell her house that she lived in for over 50 years and the house that I had known my entire life. Not only was it hard losing my grandma, but I also had to lose the house that I basically grew up in even though I didn't really live there. I visited it often and spent the night there. There were a lot of great memories in that house. I am a fan and friend of Lily Tomlin. She is irreplaceable to me. She is in her late 70s so she is getting up there in age, but she is very healthy. I could not ever imagine losing her. I don't think I could handle myself when she dies. She is the only celebritiy I have ever really loved and the only one that I know. If she dies, then I feel like I could never go on. So yes, I get very attached to certain people and things. When I lose them, I have a hard time holding myself together. I just want all of my loved ones and things to be here until I die.

Me too.

that's exactly what ive been doing these last years....absolutely no more attachments because damn they do tear me up after like crazy..