Do you think it is selfish to have kids?

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For me, I believe that it is selfish to bring kids into the world. This world is a crappy place. We have diseases, terrorism, poverty, hunger, homelessness, rapists, pedophiles, and man other horrible things. Life is hard, unfair, and sometimes sucks. Everyone thinks that their children are going to be perfect and have no problems. They all think that their children will do better than they did and that everything will be perfect. Sure, it is nice to have a baby around, but unfortunately, that baby is going to grow up and become an adolescent and an adult. Also, children are a huge responsibility. You have to feed them, cloth them, change diapers, save money for them to go to college, drive them everywhere, and find a babysitter whenever you want to go out. By bringing someone into the world, you are forcing them to deal with all of life's challenges. Maybe it is just me, but I have a very negative view of life and the world. I don't like the way life works. There are times when I am frustrated at my parents for having me. I didn't ask to have these problems and to deal with all the challenges that come with life. I never want to be responsible for bringing a child into the world. I am not here to judge anyone for having kids. Everyone is free to do whatever they want. I am just stating how I feel.

I don't think so. Many of us, despite life's problems, still enjoy our lives and enjoy being alive. You could just as easily say that it's selfish to not have kids because you're denying them a chance at life (not saying I agree with this).

Or maybe it is selfish, in a way. I have heard it said that all human activities are inherently self-serving, and there is some logic to that. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's your life; you decide what to do with it.

Ask any childfree person why they chose to not have children and you will hear many different reasons like yours, concern about poverty, war, disease, overpopulation, etc. You'll also hear things regarding being hesitant to pass along poor DNA, mental health issues, etc.

But ask any person why they wanted to have children and you'll hear a variation of "I wanted..." ( I wanted someone to love; I wanted someone to carry on the family name; I wanted to know what it was like to have a mini-me; I wanted...)

There is no burden to continue the human race, as we are now facing a population of around 8 billion. And this is not a statement of economics or climate change - only that the argument of continuing the human race in itself is ridiculous. The human race is doing just fine. Maybe a little too well. And it might be nice to give the other species who live on this planet a bit of breathing room.

So given that - there really isn't a need to have children. No one NEEDS to have them. They WANT them. It's almost like it's just a very expensive hobby now or a status symbol. And people who choose to NOT have children spend much more time on that decision than anyone who decides to have them. And so I see it as selfish to have them.

My main reason is I just don't want any kids, that aside I don't think I am in a position where I could care for one.

I would say it's selfish to have kids and not provide for them to the best of your abilities but I wouldn't say that about parenthood itself, I think it's a bit privileged and lacking in perspective to reason against it because of this cruel world as someone living most likely living in a safe 1st world country where there is no population problem whatsoever and actually face steep demographic decline. If you live somewhere like the Sudan or North Korea where there is forced starvation and genocide perhaps you could better make that argument but mean racist people in comment sections and cultural appropriation really are the 1st world type of problems that seems typify this misanthropic mood post-Trump.

. You have to feed them, cloth them, change diapers, save money for them to go to college, drive them everywhere, and find a babysitter whenever you want to go out.

The bit in italics makes it selfless, not selfish.

I weigh it up like this. I had a miserable start to life. But, I'm happy to have had the opportunity and I'd do it all again if I got the choice.

Now, obviously if I'd not been born I'd have never known any different. So, looking at it on that level of course having children is selfish. If you don't have children, they don't know. They're not somewhere sitting around going "Why did they choose not to have me?". Bringing a child into the world has to be your choice based on your wants and needs, because at that stage your child doesn't have any.

I cannot predict the kind of life my daughter will have. It may be a difficult and painful one. Of course, I hope she has so much happiness and loves as much of it as possible. You said that "Everyone thinks that their children are going to be perfect and have no problems", but I doubt that's true. To be a responsible parent, making a responsible decision before bringing new life into the world, it is important to evaluate the worst case scenario. I wanted to feel the love that exists only between a mother and her child, and I knew that came with a huge responsibility - I had to be willing to face whatever I was letting myself in for, whether I had a 100% healthy child that was constantly happy, or whether I had to suffer the pain of watching my child live in agony for just a few short years. Fact is, that feeling of love is one that, to me, overrides all that. I wish the best for my daughter and hope that it never comes to that, but just the opportunity to know her for a moment is the biggest gift and privilege. And yes, perhaps the risk is a selfish one there as well, but we all take risks for love.

To me, living is an adventure whatever comes your way, and I'm glad to be on this ride. I hope my child(ren?) will evaluate their lives in the same way.

But yes, when you weigh up that your options are absolute nothingness vs. a risk, it is a pretty selfish decision.

Yes, it is. The world is already overpopulated.

I had to buy myself new underwear, so yesterday after my doctor's appointment I went to the nearest shopping mall to her office. This mall is where all the rich people in my city shop. So, I got my skivvies at Macy's, and wandered into the mall to look for something to eat. I noticed that most of the people there were young white women who were very fashionably and expensively dressed. I noticed that a fair number of them had babies in tow, or were very pregnant, but not the old fashioned idea of "barefoot and pregnant", they were very toned and not huge despite being ready to give birth. AND they were fashionably dressed too.

I've been noticing in the last few years that as people's personal economic situations in my city, which is a distant exurb of Silicon Valley, have greatly improved, that many more women are having babies. It seems to me that affluent women only take into consideration their current, at the moment economic situation when deciding to have kids. They don't seem to think about "well, what will the world be like in 2035 when this kid turns 18?"

That's a total about face from baby boomers who lived through the upheavals of the 60s and 70s. Back then, it seems that a lot more women were thinking "wow, the earth's fossil fuels will be gone by the time this kid is 15, what will happen to him, he'll probably be roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape trying to find wild food!" I asked my mom why she had me (I was born in 1974) and she said, well I just wanted a cute little baby to care for. She said she didn't consider what would happen when that baby grew up. That seems to be a MUCH more common view in 2017 than in 1967.

I think there are 2 main views:
1. Yes, it is selfish - the world is overpopulated and adding more humans to it just because they will be your biological children is selfish. Why not adopt? Oh, it's just about your genes then - SELFISH!

2. Women who don't have children are selfish - this is more like a common view. If people thought it was selfish to have children, why would they still nag young people to breed? If you have one child, why are they asking on and on "when's the second one coming then?". It's like maybe producing more citizens for a country using your own body is the opposite of selfish? 'We need more taxpayers', 'who's going to work when our generation retire?' They see single, childless women, who travel a lot and invest in their careers and self-development as very selfish. Families pressurize their children too, a lot, to have their own children - women get the most of that treatment and all those 'your clock is ticking' remarks. People don't normally pressurize others to be selfish, so it must be considered not selfish.

I don't believe the world is overpopulated; the problem is the quality of those seven billion human beings we already have. Too many of us are insecure, selfish, and cold.

I want to have children so I can raise them to be intelligent, confident, affectionate individuals. In my opinion, the Earth is merely underpopulated with creative, conscientious, warm human beings.

It comes down to "Do you have reasonable hope that they'll have a good life?" If you think yes, you'll generally want kids so they can have that good life and you can see them; if you think not, you'll generally be against having kids.

I think kids teach you not to be selfish. I'm not saying everyone should have them, but I know my biggest goal was having my kids grow up happy and secure in themselves.

Definitely, no. To have kids means to sacrifice everything for the sake of them. And that's great I think. That is our life's purpose.

It would take the absolute best case scenario for me to be able to live independently and take care of myself. Taking care of another human being is beyond any potential reality. I have a rare genetic disease which has caused me a considerable amount of suffering in my life as well and it has a 50/50 chance of being passed onto any offspring. I won't be having any kids, I'll be having a vasectomy done in a few weeks time to make sure of that. I have enough problems.

For us it was easy...we were in Love.

We looked at our lifetime ahead of us and both agreed raising 2 children would make our marriage perfect.

So after about 3 years of playing and fun (don't get me wrong....it was great) we "made the move."

We didn't have many material possessions but our little family was just what we had hoped for.

Although we sacrificed and made do I wouldn't have traded it for anything.

If this type of thinking doesn't make an impression on you, perhaps a family is not for you?