Page 1 of 3 [ 37 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

30 Dec 2016, 10:33 am

This has been bugging me, there's a member (no need to name him, mods know; and I am not referring to Rxby) who explicity admitted of committing rape against his lady; his rape post simply got deleted but....

...how comes he is still a member here and posting as if we saw nothing?



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 Dec 2016, 10:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

screen_name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315

30 Dec 2016, 10:35 am

Uh. Yikes!


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


AardvarkGoodSwimmer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Apr 2009
Age: 61
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,660
Location: Houston, Texas

30 Dec 2016, 3:14 pm

Did this member say something of the sort, I made a bad mistake and I'm sorry? If he said something like this, even if he merely did an okay job of making an apology, I think maybe we should let him stay.

If a person is honest, apologetic, realizes that he did something which can cause real harm to another person's life, then what he says about how he got into this trap of thinking it was okay to rape someone, might help other men avoid this trap. Especially young men who receive all kinds of societal messages, I mean, look at mainstream movies which sometimes have 'hot' sex scenes which are borderline rape, as if the screenwriter is using this to 'heighten' drama and doesn't have any other ideas or the studio wants this. Although I think mainstream movies have gotten *somewhat* better in recent years.

This person being honest and apologetic can also potentially help women and men -- for men are sometimes raped, too -- to better pick up the danger signs. Although preventing rape is first and foremost the task of the person who would commit rape. I wouldn't want a discussion of danger signs to blend over to a discussion of blaming the victim.

I did not see the original post. I'd say a lot depends on how the member admitted doing this.



XFilesGeek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,031
Location: The Oort Cloud

30 Dec 2016, 5:22 pm

Actually, I have no idea who you're talking about.


_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."

-XFG (no longer a moderator)


The_Walrus
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,789
Location: London

30 Dec 2016, 5:36 pm

I also have no idea and assumed that you were referring to rxby.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Dec 2016, 6:14 pm

As far as I know, there was some guy who said he was in some sort of S & M relationship with a woman. I'm not going to name the name. One night, he said he barged into a room, and forced himself upon that woman. Obviously, in most instances, this would be rape. And the woman can really do a blackmail thing with this guy.

I think it just might be questionable whether this guy "admitted rape," if the guy is telling the truth about the nature of his relationship with the woman.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

30 Dec 2016, 6:33 pm

^ He clearly said she said No, and she struggled, even within a S & M relationship, that's a rape.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Dec 2016, 7:14 pm

The "struggle" could have been part of the "fantasy."

We really don't know, to be honest.



AnneOleson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 May 2016
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,824
Location: Coventry

31 Dec 2016, 10:39 pm

I read the posts too. I live in the same country and what he described is rape under the law. He had a fantasy and acted on it. He jumped her, she said no, that it hurt and he continued. It was disturbing to read.



screen_name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315

01 Jan 2017, 1:12 am

AnneOleson wrote:
I read the posts too. I live in the same country and what he described is rape under the law. He had a fantasy and acted on it. He jumped her, she said no, that it hurt and he continued. It was disturbing to read.


That is very disturbing.


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

01 Jan 2017, 2:57 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This has been bugging me, there's a member (no need to name him, mods know; and I am not referring to Rxby) who explicity admitted of committing rape against his lady; his rape post simply got deleted but....

...how comes he is still a member here and posting as if we saw nothing?



Because he didn't break any rules?

There is nothing in the rules that say "Do not rape anyone in real life. We do not welcome rapists on this forum."


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

01 Jan 2017, 3:07 am

Okay you must have been referring to someone else and I don't know who RXBY is. I checked the other thread where I saw it and the post was still there unless it was the edited post done by them you were referring too.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


Drake
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,577

01 Jan 2017, 7:47 am

I haven't seen the posts in question, but why not just ask that person about the nature of their relationship? If you're going to post something like that at all, I would think it either because you didn't do wrong or you don't care if people know you raped someone. (Or you're a troll.) So I think there's a good chance they'll tell you what you want to know.



AnneOleson
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 May 2016
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,824
Location: Coventry

01 Jan 2017, 9:10 am

I think the person doesn't understand that it was rape.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

01 Jan 2017, 5:04 pm

League_Girl wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
This has been bugging me, there's a member (no need to name him, mods know; and I am not referring to Rxby) who explicity admitted of committing rape against his lady; his rape post simply got deleted but....

...how comes he is still a member here and posting as if we saw nothing?



Because he didn't break any rules?

There is nothing in the rules that say "Do not rape anyone in real life. We do not welcome rapists on this forum."



To create an ambiance of safety and harmony in the forum, perhaps? We have members here who are rape survivors, how would they feel seeing this poster posting freely everywhere while knowing he's a rapist? I imagine It feels very insulting to them.

It's true that there's no literal rule about that....but it should be a common sense.

And it really doesn't matter how he views it, what he described was totally a rape and that cannot be justified.



screen_name
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,315

01 Jan 2017, 6:48 pm

In the US, 1 in 4 women will be raped. I suspect the chance is higher among autistic women who are often more naive (myself included...as being both naive and the 1 in 4).

And, no, I do not want to knowingly converse with rapists. Not at this point in my life.


_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well