Have you ignored your friends when you were depressed?

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So I have a friend whom I suspect may be on the autism spectrum, she is diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder, her mother died suddenly and she is ignoring me completely since then, it has been about 4 months now, I talked with her sister who dosen't live with her to know what's going on, and she also started ignoring my calls, that made me very anxious because I hate not being able to contact someone I consider a friend, may be they think that I am really anoyying, I usually don't call my friends more than once in a month though, any way in the end I was able to call her father and I feel better now because I know she is at least still alive , if any one was depressed and ignoered their friends what do you think I should do ? I want to know who she feels and I don't want to annoy her, but I also don't feel good not being able to help her, and I worry about her because she basically doesn't have any friends and is now alone all the time

when im depressed (which is more often then id like) i do, i tend to shut myself off from people. which is bad because i cant afford to lose any friends, because i only have one. id say (from personal experience....sort of) that you should possibly try to talk to her. maybe she needs someone to talk to, i mean, has she explicitly said not to talk to her? if not it might be worth a try, losing a parent she might be feeling lonely at the moment (as its one less person in her life). so it might be good to remind her that she has friends out there. do you have any social media you can use to do this? anything you know she'd check?



i dont know, im just thinking here

I'm the opposite. I tend to leach onto my friends when I'm depressed. The reason I do this is because my family gives me very little support and they shun me for wanting me to do unusual things in order to make myself happy.

What's friends?

Well actually I have an online friend who suffers from clinical depression. He'll suddenly become incommunicado for a couple of weeks or more. One time he disappeared for a couple of months. I just wait until he's ready to reengage.

During my depressing times, I will tend to stay closer to my family while closing myself off from others.

When I'm in one of my depressed periods, something as simple as calling a friend transforms into an overwhelming, multi-step process. While ruminating over negative thoughts, I can't give my full attention to what's going on around me in the present. Time seems to slow down and the days become a blur.
It sounds like this is what's happening to your friend at the moment. I have no idea if she's annoyed by you, but she probably doesn't have the capacities to be actively social. As another user mentioned, you may need to step back and give her some space to think things through. However, make sure to remind her every now and then that you'll be ready to listen when she decides to open up.

Thank you for your replies, i think that i should just let her and don't bother her by calling until she feels like talking to me, the problem is that if something happens to her - if she attempted Suicide for example - i would always think that i should have tried harder, i guess there is nothing i can do about that.

Well that's really considerate of you OP.

When it comes to depressed friends, they are like.. stuck in time and unable to force themselves to do anything because they feel that sad. The loss of motivation to even talk to someone eventhough it will make you feel better is super hard to do when you're doing really bad like that. When I was bad with it some years ago I found that when my friends would just randomly come over and force themselves into my presence it helped eventhough I wasn't happy with it - because that's the key to depression I've found, forcing yourself to do things that will make you feel better, like exercise and eating healthy etc.

Sometimes when I get bad with depression I don't talk to anyone for months apart from the bf. I have some really good friends I haven't even spoken to for like a year and yet when I see them it's like it was yesterday we last saw each other. Don't make her feel bad for not seeing you or ignoring you because she's probably so sad she can't even think straight.

Since she's lost her mother she will be going through bereavement, 4 months isn't long at all - it's still like a fresh wound. I wouldn't wish that on anyone though because bereavement is really horrible and some people don't even get over it for years depending on how strong their bond with someone was.

She will just be really sad like all the time. There's honestly not huge amounts you can do apart from words of encouragement and telling her it's ok to rant to you, try to get her out of the house and get her mind focused on something else if you can. If she's really bad though - it might be worth telling her dad she needs bereavement therapy.

Not to many friends left to ignore but at my worse I totally withdraw, no motivation to even get out of bed and actively avoided contact and seeing my family. That wasn't that long ago and it's still a struggle, I agree tho that a lot of it is just forcing yourself thru the situation and having friends/family that don't take no for an answer since it's really the depression speaking. If I were allowed to isolate myself and wallow with no intervention then I might not be here today.

Yes - and I´ve lost some.

^Me too, and when the depression lifts and my view of the world changes, I regret it deeply.

Scheimaa, your friend needs time, hopefully your friendship is the type that can be put on ice.

I tend to stay alone when I am depressed. My grandmother died this past year and these were the first Holidays without her. I also tend to stop eating. I hope the depression goes away soon.

I think it's pretty normal to ignore your friends when you're depressed. I know I've done it a bunch of times. It's something I've actually been doing a lot of lately.