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Moo Moo
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 5 Jan 2017
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 11
Location: Newcastle

05 Jan 2017, 4:56 pm

I have people I know but I wouldn't call them friends. I have a small amount of family but I wouldn't say I was particularly close to them. I am married and I am very close to my Husband. I'm unemployed at the moment and go to college one day a week where I rarely speak to anyone. Sometimes days go by and I speak to no one except my Husband. I'm forty this year.
Is this a normal way to live? Although I don't crave company, I do sometimes feel very isolated. Does anyone else live like I do?



alk123
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

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Joined: 17 May 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 71

05 Jan 2017, 6:05 pm

I have a life of complete solitude. No friendships/relationships whatsoever. Only person I'm in contact with are my parents, and a counselor I see every month or so. I attend college part time, but rarely speak to other students. It is nerve wracking in some situations, but I'm an extreme introvert who gets drained around people.



Moo Moo
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 5 Jan 2017
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 11
Location: Newcastle

05 Jan 2017, 6:21 pm

I feel drained when I spend time around others too. Socially the maximum time for me is one hour. Any time spent after that begins to impact on my physical/mental health. I do wonder where my life is headed though. Will the few social skills that I fought so hard to learn be forgotten?
I worry that if something happened to my Husband I would be totally alone and would struggle to live. I believe that's why humans first lived in groups, as a form of protection. I seem to be bucking the trend. Physically I look very NT and high functioning so I don't qualify for any support or recognition of my Autism. If there are others like me I worry what will happen to us all in the future. Do people like us just become forgotten about?

alk123 if you didn't find people so draining would you wish that you had some friends?



alk123
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 17 May 2013
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Posts: 71

05 Jan 2017, 7:51 pm

I probably would, but other issues complicate social interactions/friendships for me, such as agoraphobia, and generalized anxiety. I'm not particularly well at small talk or making humor with people either.It is something I've tried to improve though.



Moo Moo
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 5 Jan 2017
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 11
Location: Newcastle

06 Jan 2017, 4:56 am

I hear you alk123! I have had/have issues wit h all of those things too. I often say to my Husband 'If I was a 'normal' person I would have a great social life' and then I list the things I would do with my friends. His response is always the same 'But you're not a 'normal' person. In reality when I have a social event to attend I make myself sick with worry before, don't enjoy the event because I'm so worried and I have very poor social skills and then I become sick for days afterwards because I'm so drained and I play over the misunderstandings I had with other people. It's just not worth it is it? :0



AngryAngryAngry
Velociraptor
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Joined: 11 Feb 2016
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 496
Location: New Zealand

06 Jan 2017, 9:57 pm

Yeah, never really had any friends in school.
Though I did attend 9 different primary schools (no fault of my own).
So that didn't help.
Quite a few male friends turned out to be gay and that was the reason they were friendly towards me (sexual interest).
I can't really be friends with girls because - that never lasts (sexual attraction), and I do not want to be friend zoned. I'm open to the possibility though, and have criteria for managing the sexual attraction (so it doesn't occur).

Now, I'm moving more towards becoming a hermit.
I do still hope that some of my interests will generate some mutual interested parties (that will be restricted to that activity alone to prevent me being labeled as a weirdo and unfriended/and mitigate gossip).
I know how selfish people can be, so not hopeful of true friendships.

Pretty sure I'll have a lover or two in the future, and that is as good as friends.



MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
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Joined: 15 Jan 2012
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Posts: 8,714

07 Jan 2017, 6:31 am

My life is very similar. I have limited interactions with coworkers, but that and my family are all I can deal with. I've never felt isolated as long as I have an occasional connection with others. Before I was married, I did feel very isolated.



nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

11 Jan 2017, 1:23 am

I relate. I only have one friend that I see 1ce a year sense I moved across the country to be with my girlfriend. I'm very close to my girlfriend & I haven't really met anyone sense I moved here. I do go out abit but that's either to go walking or to places we need to go or to eat out. i always had very few friends & have been introverted my whole life.


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