Father of Aspie kid. Having a rough time
Hello there. Not sure where to begin.
I have a eight year-old Aspie son, and sometimes... I have a really hard time being kind to him.
Sometimes it feels like he's tearing my family apart.
I don't know what else to say. I guess I just want to know that this comes with the territory.
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,186
Location: Portland, Oregon
Hey,
How are you doing? I know how hard it can get. Being a parent is not easy and can be challenging. Do your best and just hang in there. Remember why you are doing this and keep your mind on the big picture and stay positive. Blood is thicker than water even though sometimes family problems can get out of hands, just be there take care of yourself and each other. He will grow up one day knowing that he was cared for how much you loved and supported him. Be kind, gentle and yet firm when needed tell him how much you love him and explain to him when he misbehaves....Best wishes.
Thanks, everyone. I'm doing much better today. I haven't really done anything to recharge my batteries, so to speak. Taking just 4 hours yesterday made all the difference in the world. I don't feel hopeless anymore!
Hippygoth - I'm working on this. I do have a fantastic wife that's very patient and understanding with both my son and me. But she shares in these struggles with me, and for better or worse, we feed off each other's struggles. Trying to find some outside help specifically for us.
I have a eight year-old Aspie son, and sometimes... I have a really hard time being kind to him.
Sometimes it feels like he's tearing my family apart.
I don't know what else to say. I guess I just want to know that this comes with the territory.
Frustration is common. My name is Simon. My father once beat me in front of my grandmother (maternal side) to the face. He also once made me breakfast, woke me up (in the gentlest way possible) at the age of 11-14 and I was very happy that day. Because I try very hard to make my father proud, because my dad is a strong man.
He did not tell me he put tranquilizers (90's style psych care) in to my breakfast. He did not tell medical staff at school.
When he come home and saw what he had done to me, he broke down and cried. My father has never cried before, or might not have since. I have been the only one that made my dad cry because he was trying too hard and failing, but all he knew was what he had been told. Because nobody told him, and he was trying to find a path, he kept fighting. But to him fighting meant... hitting.
My father never used drugs ever again after he saw me that day in school. He then went so far as to become anti-drugs and that they are all poison. It was too big a swing.
You are being a good father by asking even this question. Because my father still won't talk to me.
I hope the story of my life helps you. I am very happy to share more if it helps, but I do not want to overstep my boundaries. I just need to be told where the boundaries are.
Thank you.
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