Back on this site cause I'm depressed as hell!! !

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CoolCat92
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10 Jan 2017, 9:50 pm

What's up Wrong Planet?
So I just made a new profile after several years off this site. I know this topic isn't intended for this section...
But what the hell? I realized my life is in a downward spiral and I wanted to make some friends and turn it around!
A little about me- So I'm 24 (almost 25 very soon), a Vegas local born and raised, I'm a huge nerdy musician who loves playing guitar and piano and listening to music (literally took a History of Rock Music class in college so you know I'm dedicated), and right now I am just trying to get by everyday.
I dropped out of college because of financial reasons, depression, and no motivation or drive to attend anymore (started ditching classes and never signed up for any more classes).
I have a part time $8.25 job that I am starting to hate and will quit this month and instead volunteer at the animal shelter with cats (hence my username, love CATS!).
I have dreams, that I haven't put into action yet and took me years after high school to find.
If you managed to get this far reading my introduction, Congrats!
But just no that other family priorities are happening very soon. I'm quitting my job to spend some time with my grandma who recently had a stroke (and she's across the U.S.) So I'm not that bad of a soon to be jobless loser hippie!
And I'm moving to Montana for a few months to live with my best friend since 1st grade! So, I have to quit my job.
I had a girlfriend... she hates my guts now. I honestly don't know what happened?
She was super religious, I am super atheist. You can see that didn't work out at all.
Hope to hear from someone soon!



AnonymousAnonymous
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10 Jan 2017, 9:53 pm

Welcome back to Wrong Planet! :)


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feral botanist
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10 Jan 2017, 11:05 pm

I have lived in Las Vegas and Montana. I like both.

why do you think you are in a downward spiral?

It seems like you have some plans for the immediate future.

You sentence structure seems a little high pressure, are you feeling manic?



AllDaXP
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11 Jan 2017, 9:55 pm

CoolCat92 wrote:
What's up Wrong Planet?
So I just made a new profile after several years off this site. I know this topic isn't intended for this section...
But what the hell? I realized my life is in a downward spiral and I wanted to make some friends and turn it around!
A little about me- So I'm 24 (almost 25 very soon), a Vegas local born and raised, I'm a huge nerdy musician who loves playing guitar and piano and listening to music (literally took a History of Rock Music class in college so you know I'm dedicated), and right now I am just trying to get by everyday.
I dropped out of college because of financial reasons, depression, and no motivation or drive to attend anymore (started ditching classes and never signed up for any more classes).
I have a part time $8.25 job that I am starting to hate and will quit this month and instead volunteer at the animal shelter with cats (hence my username, love CATS!).
I have dreams, that I haven't put into action yet and took me years after high school to find.
If you managed to get this far reading my introduction, Congrats!
But just no that other family priorities are happening very soon. I'm quitting my job to spend some time with my grandma who recently had a stroke (and she's across the U.S.) So I'm not that bad of a soon to be jobless loser hippie!
And I'm moving to Montana for a few months to live with my best friend since 1st grade! So, I have to quit my job.
I had a girlfriend... she hates my guts now. I honestly don't know what happened?
She was super religious, I am super atheist. You can see that didn't work out at all.
Hope to hear from someone soon!


I myself made a profile a long time ago but could not understand how to use it. I think I have figured out the right way to use it though now? I may not have, and then I'll still be lonely, but... I keep on trying. If I don't... then, yeah, downwards spiral.

If you'd like my story I put it in my bio. Even though the site does frown upon giving out personal information, it does not prevent me from doing so. If you need to verify it (because many people do lie and have hurt me with those lies, so I don't want to hurt you the same way people have hurt me) then I am happy to be contacted directly or give out my phone number/email.



CoolCat92
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12 Jan 2017, 12:38 am

feral botanist wrote:
I have lived in Las Vegas and Montana. I like both.

why do you think you are in a downward spiral?

It seems like you have some plans for the immediate future.

You sentence structure seems a little high pressure, are you feeling manic?


No. I'm not feeling manic. Just stressed and tired.
Well it's a long story but to sum it up I feel like I can't connect with other human beings. I can't make friends. Not just friends, I mean life-long friends. You know? I can't form relationships with people because I'm scared of letting people get to know the real me. I have trust issues and I have a wall protecting me 24/7 because of bad past relationships with people where I got hurt in the end. I have issues basically, and I hate myself for having these problems. I can't form love relationships with women either. I lash out and push people away who get to close to me, even though I want to let my guard down, I can't. I'm not confident in myself either. Sorry for relaying all this info on you but I'm tired of feeling this way. Tired of waking up, tired of going to sleep, just tired of life.



justkillingtime
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12 Jan 2017, 1:34 am

pushing people away can be avoidant personality disorder.


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AllDaXP
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12 Jan 2017, 4:33 am

justkillingtime wrote:
pushing people away can be avoidant personality disorder.


Why is it a 'disorder'?

From an etymological perspective, disaster Dis-aster

ANCIENT GREEK
____Aster = Star
____Dis = bad/negative

May I please have a different definition?



Sabreclaw
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12 Jan 2017, 6:48 am

AllDaXP wrote:
justkillingtime wrote:
pushing people away can be avoidant personality disorder.


Why is it a 'disorder'?

From an etymological perspective, disaster Dis-aster

ANCIENT GREEK
____Aster = Star
____Dis = bad/negative

May I please have a different definition?


Fine. We'll replace the "disorder" part. You may have Avoidant Personality Flubbidywubbidy.



AllDaXP
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12 Jan 2017, 8:01 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
AllDaXP wrote:
justkillingtime wrote:
pushing people away can be avoidant personality disorder.


Why is it a 'disorder'?

From an etymological perspective, disaster Dis-aster

ANCIENT GREEK
____Aster = Star
____Dis = bad/negative

May I please have a different definition?


Fine. We'll replace the "disorder" part. You may have Avoidant Personality Flubbidywubbidy.


But... that still sounds clinical to me. Saying 'Asperges Syndrom' or anything medical to someone like myself who has been locked up against his will and given heavy medications against my will can be... confusing, I guess. I guess it is the 'sentence melody', there is some sort of rhythm to the message of the medical community because they like to phrase things a certain way. And my only interaction with the medical community is one of being locked away in a cage; physical or mental.

I'm truly not trying to be difficulty. Just understanding.



kraftiekortie
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12 Jan 2017, 8:08 am

OP: It sounds like you're going to do good things---helping your grandma, especially.

I also took a "History of Music" class in college. I loved it.



AllDaXP
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12 Jan 2017, 8:34 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
OP: It sounds like you're going to do good things---helping your grandma, especially.

I also took a "History of Music" class in college. I loved it.


A very good way of quickly learning to love how to get into the history of music is by listening to these two clips:

Watch this one until you can recall the theme/tone/song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Tr0otuiQuU
I only assume everyone has heard this at least once in their life because it is a very popular tune to use for sad things.

This clip will show you what Beethoven actually meant for it to sound like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zucBfXpCA6s

This URL will help explain how Beethoven's music went from what he composed, to what we knew as children, and how it is still the same beautiful song: http://www.radiolab.org/story/271345-speedthoven/