Embarrassed myself in public

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Joe90
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11 Jan 2017, 10:35 am

So my bus was late arriving to the bus-station, where I was to change over to another bus, and I saw it was already there. Afraid it might pull out before I got to it, I quickly made my way across the bus-station, and I didn't really look at anyone, I just stepped on (thinking I was the last passenger on, being so I arrived into the bus-station late). As I was fishing for my bus pass, I heard people ranting among themselves, and I turned around to a load of old ladies rather furious, saying that I pushed in and that they've been waiting there first. Embarrassed, I said sorry, and had to get off and go right to the back of the queue. I felt everybody was looking at me, thinking how rude I was, although it was clear that I wasn't rude at all, I just thought everybody were already on the bus, and I was too much in a rush to check to see if anyone was waiting. It was just a mistake. But because these were elderly people and I'm young, some elderly people stereotype young people as rude, so that's what they assumed I was.

Due to my social anxiety, I'm going to be worrying about this for days. I really did not mean any disrespect, I was just anxious to get on the bus before it pulled away. If my previous bus had arrived on time, I would have been less rushed and would have noticed the other people waiting. Also it's my nature to let old people on first. But now I feel like an idiot, and my face went bright red.
:oops:


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This_Amoeba
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11 Jan 2017, 11:51 am

I've done the same exact thing before. It's not your fault, you were in a hurry and didn't notice. They'll get over it. Old people can be slow and it's hard to notice if your rushing.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jan 2017, 8:53 pm

Those people probably wouldn't recognize you if they saw you an hour later.



blackicmenace
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11 Jan 2017, 8:59 pm

Don't worry about it. Accidents happen. Your actions clearly weren't done in malice. Sometimes people make assumptions without every aspect of an event.


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Froya
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11 Jan 2017, 9:04 pm

I think I would probably have said out loud " Omg, I'm sorry! I was totally in my own world, I didn't see you" at the same time made a little embarrassing laugh as I went to the back of the line. :P 8) I think reacting like that would have made the emabarrasing feelings last shorter for me.



Joe90
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11 Jan 2017, 10:25 pm

Quote:
Those people probably wouldn't recognize you if they saw you an hour later.


I believe that is a cliche. People DO remember these things, and this is not the last time I will be getting this bus. These old people could be regular passengers, and next time they see me they might think "oh look there's that rude ignorant girl, I had hoped she got stabbed in the eye or something". I know how people gossip.
Besides, halfway through the journey I heard them telling another passenger that got on (they must have known him) what I did. I could only vaguely catch what they were saying because I was sitting upstairs and they were down, but they didn't sound happy.

10 years I've been getting buses alone, the first time this has ever happened and I get scolded for it. I am generally not a rude person, and now I am made to feel like I am.


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blackicmenace
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11 Jan 2017, 10:31 pm

It was a simple misunderstanding. If they are petty people, why would you be concerned what they think? You know it was harmless, don't beat yourself up about it.


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Joe90
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12 Jan 2017, 5:20 am

I know. It's just that I felt confronted and embarrassed, and I have a true fear of confrontation (due to a past experience). I know it wasn't a threatening or harsh confrontation, but it was still a form of confrontation.

It's the next day now and I feel less affected by it than I did yesterday, so in a couple of days it won't matter any more. But I have social anxiety don't forget, so these things that happen do feel really big to me.


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blackicmenace
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12 Jan 2017, 5:47 am

Joe90 wrote:
I know. It's just that I felt confronted and embarrassed, and I have a true fear of confrontation (due to a past experience). I know it wasn't a threatening or harsh confrontation, but it was still a form of confrontation.

It's the next day now and I feel less affected by it than I did yesterday, so in a couple of days it won't matter any more. But I have social anxiety don't forget, so these things that happen do feel really big to me.


I understand, it's not as easy as forgetting it. But if someone did confront you (not that I think it will happen) it won't be the end of the world because you didn't do anything wrong. I have tremendous social anxiety so I understand where you are coming from, but at the end of the day it's a simple misunderstanding at worst. Sometimes things seem much more foreboding than they are. Maybe use some sunglasses and listening to some music if you have some earbuds during the ride will help clear your mind and ease some tension.


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TheSpectrum
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12 Jan 2017, 5:53 am

If it's of any consolation they're old and will forget about it soon enough.
These are things other people generally don't dwell on so by the next time you catch a bus all will be forgotten anyway :)

Simple mistake. Don't be hard on yourself :)


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15 Jan 2017, 10:02 am

They already have long forgotten about you and you likely have never seen them before and will never see them again.


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15 Jan 2017, 10:27 am

People make mistakes, everyone does. You realized it and went to the back of the line; had you been a rude person you would not have done this. You may be frustrated because it happened at all, but it is really no big deal.



crystaltermination
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15 Jan 2017, 6:02 pm

Try not to dwell on it; the fact you didn't see them before you got on the bus makes you blameless. Groups of people often do like to single out the individual who unknowingly makes themselves visible though, then they get to feel solidarity by loudly complaining to their friends about them. I see this behaviour repeated in other forms on public transport, such as the inevitable commuter on a phone discussing some unknown person, all while badly pretending they aren't trying to impress other passengers with their fascinating opinions.


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17 Jan 2017, 5:48 pm

I had a similar situation. I was in a convenience store buying some snacks. I saw one person at a cash register and a bunch of guys hanging out by the coffee, and I saw another register was open. So I went up to it and one of the guys yelled at me saying there was a line (the bunch of people carousing around the coffee, to afraid to stand next to each other in a line)

So I had to go to the end of the line and wait with the people that thought I was pushing ahead of them.
I did not go back there for quite some time.