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Sabaism
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15 Jan 2017, 9:28 am

I've had quite the year with my 17-year-old son. He has been showing a few odd habits ever since he was young, but when he turned 14, it got out of hand. For 3 years, we been to one psych to another. He has been diagnosed 2 and a another one is coming up. The first one told us that he's depressed and it might be manical. He has gotten medication for it, but the odd this was that he got very odd medication for just depression. He reacted awful to them. So we got a second diagnose, which said he is autistic but also might be schizophrenic. They are sending us to a different organisation for another diagnoses to be sure or not that he is schizophrenic.

My question is, does anyone have any tips for me to make it easier for him? He's been very down lately and I want him to feel safe.



DataB4
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15 Jan 2017, 10:26 am

Wow, how confusing, being shuffled around like that! Has he tried a therapist or even the school counselor/psychologist? Could there be any life circumstances that make him feel worse? Could any of these be changed?

Does he talk to you about his wants/needs at all? What are things like, from his perspective?

Maybe the answers to some of those questions might help people give you good advice.



eikonabridge
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15 Jan 2017, 10:27 am

Schizophrenia's onset very often occurs at that age, as you probably already know. So first make sure about the schizophrenia part.

As for depression, it's not an autistic issue. It happens to neurotypical people as well, and I don't think to any lesser frequency. As anyone that has gone through it can tell you, life is never as bad as you think. In the case of autistic people, the experience could be more intense. Try this. Get a digital voice recorder for your son. When he is depressed, he needs to record his thoughts in a few words, OK to be cryptic. Then he needs to have some happy moments: whatever works. Walking in the park, going hiking, taking a look at clouds in the sky or waves in the ocean, vacation, going to friend's birthday party, entertainment parks, going out for ice cream, whatever. At the moment of his maximum happiness, then find a discreet place and replay the recording he made when he was depressed. Sort out his thoughts. Then tell himself: life sometimes is tough, but some other times is fun. Realize that people are not always evil. Remember his happy moment and what he was doing at that moment. Next time depression comes, remember what he was doing when he was happy, remember what he told himself when he was happy. Life is tough, that is a given. That part won't change. But life is so much more than its bad parts. As long as he realizes that, then he can handle life much better. Without a voice recorder, it's virtually impossible to remember the bad moments when you are happy, and that's the main problem. If you don't establish a "space-time wormhole tunnel" between your bad moments and good moments, you won't have a way to shift the negative energy away when the bad moments strike. I see parents spend money taking their kids to vacations and/or have fun all the time. Yet when the vacation/fun is done all that fun and money is gone, forever. And the family goes back to their suffering. Money and time wasted, without producing any tangible benefit. The key is not just trying to be happy when you are sad. The key is to have a way to recall the details of your sad moments, what went through your mind when you were sad, and do all that all while you are happy. Depression (and anxiety) issues are best solved when you are happy, not when you are sad. The problem is when people are happy, their mind is so far away from their sad moments, so even if they try on their own, they can't recall the details of their sad moments. You really need a voice recorder to help you make that connection.


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Sabaism
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15 Jan 2017, 2:02 pm

DataB4 wrote:
Wow, how confusing, being shuffled around like that! Has he tried a therapist or even the school counselor/psychologist? Could there be any life circumstances that make him feel worse? Could any of these be changed?

Does he talk to you about his wants/needs at all? What are things like, from his perspective?

Maybe the answers to some of those questions might help people give you good advice.



It is, and he is very confused. He likes things to be clear and black and white. But his situation just makes him uncomfortable.

He has been seeing a Psychologist for over a year, that is helping him through everything. So he has someone to talk to about this, but sometimes I doubt if he talks about how he feels.

We are not sure why he gets so depressed at times, he has no idea himself. Which makes him more confused. Though, he is on anti-depressants, but that's not enough. He also takes medication that makes him able to sleep and to stop him from hallucinating.

We try to make everything easy for him by giving him what he asks. Things like personal space and by not pushing him.

He sometimes writes us a not about how he feels, in which he tells that he doesn't know what he wants or what he is supposed to feel. One of his problems is expressing and feeling emotions.

From his perspective: He's still in school, but he's barely around. He has friends, but is rather alone. He spends most of his time in his room on his computer, playstation or by playing and drawing. (He often plays with toys).
He is spending a lot of time lately by reading crime novels.

Hope this helps any xx



Sabaism
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15 Jan 2017, 2:14 pm

eikonabridge wrote:
Schizophrenia's onset very often occurs at that age, as you probably already know. So first make sure about the schizophrenia part.

As for depression, it's not an autistic issue. It happens to neurotypical people as well, and I don't think to any lesser frequency. As anyone that has gone through it can tell you, life is never as bad as you think. In the case of autistic people, the experience could be more intense. Try this. Get a digital voice recorder for your son. When he is depressed, he needs to record his thoughts in a few words, OK to be cryptic. Then he needs to have some happy moments: whatever works. Walking in the park, going hiking, taking a look at clouds in the sky or waves in the ocean, vacation, going to friend's birthday party, entertainment parks, going out for ice cream, whatever. At the moment of his maximum happiness, then find a discreet place and replay the recording he made when he was depressed. Sort out his thoughts. Then tell himself: life sometimes is tough, but some other times is fun. Realize that people are not always evil. Remember his happy moment and what he was doing at that moment. Next time depression comes, remember what he was doing when he was happy, remember what he told himself when he was happy. Life is tough, that is a given. That part won't change. But life is so much more than its bad parts. As long as he realizes that, then he can handle life much better. Without a voice recorder, it's virtually impossible to remember the bad moments when you are happy, and that's the main problem. If you don't establish a "space-time wormhole tunnel" between your bad moments and good moments, you won't have a way to shift the negative energy away when the bad moments strike. I see parents spend money taking their kids to vacations and/or have fun all the time. Yet when the vacation/fun is done all that fun and money is gone, forever. And the family goes back to their suffering. Money and time wasted, without producing any tangible benefit. The key is not just trying to be happy when you are sad. The key is to have a way to recall the details of your sad moments, what went through your mind when you were sad, and do all that all while you are happy. Depression (and anxiety) issues are best solved when you are happy, not when you are sad. The problem is when people are happy, their mind is so far away from their sad moments, so even if they try on their own, they can't recall the details of their sad moments. You really need a voice recorder to help you make that connection.



I'm aware that it usually doesn't appear on his age, so we're not trying to make any claims. He's getting a proffesional diagnoses soon, so right now we're not concetrating on that too much.

Your tips are very helpful, and we're going to try a few of them. He has gotten a video camera for christmas, so he can try and tape himself when he's very down. We also try and encourage him to go out and be with his friends.

thanks xx



timf
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16 Jan 2017, 4:28 pm

does anyone have any tips for me to make it easier for him?

We found with our son that depression was well treated with SAM-e. This is a popular treatment in Europe for depression. We first found it helpful for my wife’s RLS/insomnia.

My son was further helped by a zinc/B6 supplement.

We tried things like Insotitol and several other supplements but thankfully most had no effect (as opposed to a negative effect).

I do not have much faith in what “experts” in this field actually understand. The SAM-e research seems to point to a chemical process called methylation. However, as I understand it, this involves about 200 different chemical processes. It seems that genetic variability begins to define much of the variation seen in what works for one person versus what works for another.

I can only suggest Internet research and supplement experimentation. You may want to stay away from experimenting with supplements that have potential negative effects, but there are many to experiment with that do not seem to have much of a down side.

Aspergers may not be something that you can moderate chemically as it may reflect a particular neurological configuration. However, things like depression may be greatly alleviated with supplements, at least we have found it so.



RemiBeaker
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16 Jan 2017, 4:33 pm

In The Netherlands and Belgium some children with both autistic and schizophrenic symptoms are diagnosed with Multiple Complex Developmental Disorder.
Here's a website about it.



somanyspoons
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18 Jan 2017, 2:45 pm

I second the b6/zinc suggestion. While it hasn't been proven to help, some people find it very helpful, and it isn't going to hurt him or mess with his medications.

There's a whole feild of study around methylation, but I strongly suggest that you seek help if you want to get into that. Yes, they are "only" suppliments, but they can make people really uncomfortable if you use them wrong.

I'm glad to hear that he's got a regular therapist who knows him better than someone who only does a simple eval.

I've worked with kids as young as 12 who are clearly schitzophrenic. It's rare, but it does happen. It's hard to figure it out too, because pretend play is totally normal, as as outlandish fears at that age.



Georgina145
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21 Feb 2017, 5:37 am

There are many things parents can do to help children with autism spectrum disorder overcome their challenges. The best thing you can do is to start treatment right away. Marriage or family therapy can also help you work out problems that the challenges of life with an autistic child are causing in your family. You may not be able to tackle everything at once. So, it'll be better if you take the help of a professional.