Churches aren't immune from social games

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Even ministers and priests are more interested in the lives of the popular amongst their flocks.

I finally found my groove with a pack of older women who attend daily mass and Saturday Rosary reciting. It took awhile to find them. We even have coffee together sometimes.

The other parishioners keep me at arms length.

1. Have you looked at the pattern of the mass attendees? If they are leaving, that may give you an idea of the leadership
2. Look for a congregation where they do more community-based things that are inclusive
3. Get involved in volunteering or a bible study

These games are played everywhere. It's human nature. I just don't involve myself with the social circles.

Thank you for your post.

P.S. I'm very involved in community volunteer outreach. None of this makes NT people want to be social with you. I was merely sharing how pervasive this problem of high school antics really is. Even churches have the issues. I found my own way to cope.

I still don't think "social games" is an accurate term. Whether it be church, an office, an exercise classes, a club etc. People are more drawn to people like themselves.

They are also drawn to friendly, outgoing people who take an interest in them. The quiet folk seem to not want friends, so are overlooked

Old ladies are awesome though! I tend to be more drawn to the old ladies too.

I found your post insulting.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to be insulting

I'm just meaning that it's probably not deliberate nastiness on anyone's part. I don't doubt that you've been hurt and that you don't feel left out, but I am the odd one out too. I know that I'm not NT and NTs tend to be drawn to NTs rather than me. I know what it's like to not be NT.

That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

Churches aren't immune from social games.
Correct.

And it's not just an NT vs. autism thing.
Prejudice against singles is also rampant.

I've seen web pages dealing with it.
And it isn't just one denomination ...
it seems to be just another variant of
humans in groups forming cliques
and excluding those who are different.

I have a married friend
who had to go to church alone for awhile
while her husband was away on business ...
she immediately was treated like she was invisible ...
so they were prejudiced against her
simply because she didn't walk in the door together with somebody else.

Absolutely Phoenix. Single people are not treated too well.

Some people play the mean games on purpose while others do it subconsciously. It's a shame as my autistic daughter is the one getting hurt.

A church is not much different than a club where club-members meet more for social-reasons. A typical church has less to do with actually trying to learn any real truth & more to do with social-appearances.

No kidding, Ban Dodger. That was my whole point. Not all people realize that especially ASD young people.

I liked your Cyrillic writing, Ban Dodger. Really cool.

Aye ! I concur. Wait, ASD young people, huh. Why, them whipper-snappers, they be all like oblivious !

OMG, I am getting such messages and compliments to one of my styles from a Gal on a forums, this is my queue to over-react and treat it like really big news that I am actually getting attention from a Gal, and to try and get her phone-number now or something ! ;o Sure, the age-difference might be approximately a thousand years apart, but it's only a mere thousand, and in just a couple dozen or so millennia our age-difference become even less significant !

(Pardon me if that seemed to suddenly come out of nowhere; I am just practicing my on-line flirting skills is all)

I quit going to church for a while because I got tired of being a social pariah. Now I go to a big church where a lot of other people are sitting by themselves so I blend in nicely. But I still question why I bother showing up when I could just watch a video of it later. Maybe because I can shake hands with 3 or 4 other people who I'll probably never get to know.

christians are actually worse than atheists when it comes to having demands, they want anything to do wit me since i am ugly and a loser.

I've moved around a lot so I've been to a few different churches. The demographic has varied in each place.

But what Phoenix days struck a chord. In some places being single seemed to short circuit others.

My friend once was having a conversation with her married friend who told her: "I don't know what to do with single people. Will they mind being invited to something with couples.?"

My friend was like, are you nuts. You don't just leave the single people out. They don't mind spending time with a mixed group. They're people the same as you are.

Not sure why single people are viewed with such suspicion.

I've move again. The last church I attended I did feel like I was the single pariah, but here I've been embraced at treated like it's perfectly normal for me to join in. I'm really taken aback actually. It's nice.

Don't be afraid to look around and find some where that suits you. Just because you have problems with people in a few places you've been doesn't mean you won't be able to find a home.

Keep going