mid-life diagnosis make you feel cheated?

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Hi, I was diagnosed late. I have gone through a progression of feelings tho:

1. Grief: Sad for the little girl that was struggling to keep up to others (tho extremely happy - out in nature anyway)
2. Resentful: that I endured abuse from predators but didn't even understand that until much later
3. Angry: That folks didn't get me checked out for the difficulties I had, and protect me better
4. Understanding: I realized folks couldn't have known how hard things were for me (or the victimization) because I was high-functioning and spent all my energy learning how to camouflage EVERYthing. My script larder is huge.
5. Forgiveness: because I was actually difficult to raise - constant questions, high energy, unable to express myself. I wouldn't have wanted to raise me

My family is unaware of my (mid-life) diagnosis - am not sure it would be helpful for them to know it. It was immensely helpful for ME to know it.

Had i known it earlier, perhaps I wouldn't have become the resilient scrapper I am.

That's just my experience with late diagnosis, anyway.

A little bit cheated, yeah.
And I'm trying to make this the short version.
I'm 32. I figured out I'm an aspie in February. As of Monday, I'm officially on the spectrum. Still going through the process of diagnosis, and getting help.
Life has generally been a vicious, horrible nightmare. I've wondered for a long time what might have been. Now that I have this new way of understanding myself, even more so. I try not to get stuck there. Life could have been much different, and possibly far more positive, if we knew then what I know now. But I don't know if I'd be better off that way. And there's no way to go back.
I wish I'd been able to tell people in the past. It may have saved some heartache. Ruined relationships, lost jobs, years on the streets, etc. At least I know now.
I've had to do a lot of forgiving over the last year. Doctors and family. It still hurts, but it's better to be able to understand and let go.
I'm sure my experience would have been different, but I don't know if it would be better, and I like who I am and what I've become at this point in my life and I don't think I'd be this way without misdiagnosis as a child and all the drama in between.
So there. That's the best I can do right now.

I was diagnosed two years ago, it seems to be a recurring theme but I was also diagnosed during a period of high anxiety and severe depression. It's impossible to know what would have happened if I had been diagnosed as a child (it could have happened, hell, I even had to change schools at one point), though there is the possibility that that period of anxiety/depression might have been lessened (or I may at least have been able to better identify the direct cause)?

However, for me at least, I feel that it happened at an acceptable time (if not ideal). The problem I have though is that no matter how much I read, research or, seemingly, experience on the matter it's very hard to understand (not from a technical perspective, but rather how I can or should apply it to myself). Effectively:

With that in mind: There's nothing you can do about the past, but with what you know now, you can improve the future.

To some extended I felt cheated, but then I regret many things I've said and done as well as those things I've never said or done.

If after my diagnosis, I really didn't understand.

Having a better understand my have me working today, instead of being told I was no longer welcome.

I agree with this statement as well. On one hand, I have seen how people who have "diagnoses" of various kinds get defined by their diagnosis and sometimes they use their diagnosis as a crutch, a fallback or an excuse. I did not have a fallback. I just had myself.

Also, I had to learn coping skills which I am not sure I would have learned if I had a diagnosis before.

Life would have been easier in many ways (such as getting school accomodations and such) but in other ways I feel that a diagnosis would have hindered me (getting into relationships and reaching a point where I would have to explain that I have this syndrome would have made things really awkward IMO).

So, I am just like live and let live. I know now. I can now move forward.