Drove aa girl away, but she didnt run straight away

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@Alliekit and @Sweetleaf

Do you see how this woman is behaving like that guy mentioned in the other thread (the one who rejected the female OP and started acting weird with her)?

THIS is how most behave with guys after rejecting them.

Ulysses, I think she is also "fed up" by you talking about your autism.
Some women are really just like that, they claim that they like men to open up about their feelings and troubles and bla bla... but once you complain about something twice to them they tell you "stop whining"/ "I don't like whinig guys" .... this is a very common double standards.
My advice is to stop talking to her about such topics.

Or if she is angry about the trip, can you delay it to make it with her?

With regards to the trip I'm not cancelling. Plus she said she fine with it now. No one else in work knows I promised I wouldn't say I was going to anyone. But that leaves the fact that when I return there will be pictures to go up on fb. Something that I do need to discuss with her, I'm in asia for the rest of the month and won't be in work from when I go till when she comes back (I have 5 wks off).

As you suggested, I've decided to drop that particular subject of conversation as it only serves to be inflammatory atm. Perhaps when I have my diagnosis and proof I can broach the subject again but I'll have to be tentative in my approach.

That may be best.

Honestly it sounds to me like she is jealous more than anything

hmm then I don't really understand what she is so pissed about.

Why is she jealous if she was planning on going to the same place?

Because she wants to be like the first to "discover" it

She is doing the trip for charity. When it kicked off after I told her, she said it would make her trip less special to those that were sponsoring her and and she thought they wouldn't sponsor her if they knew someone else was going "just because they could" (daft idea). I did then also promise not to tell anyone I was going.

She also said to me that she felt "snubbed by me" for doing it.

I don't think it helped my case with her when she said before I went to mexico that she wanted someone who wasn't selfish in respect to her next partner.

I don't think I've been selfish as we're not dating, so owe nothing as yet, but now see how this may well have damaged her trust in me.

Perhaps from now only time, a less neurotic and more attentive approach may be able to win that back.

I hate the fixation. I'd love to get over her as I did in the past with others but I never had to be around them because I never had to work day in day out in the same department but different sections.

Perhaps if I was honest about my thoughts about my condition from the start things may have turned out different but I didn't want to tell her incase (as many do when they hear the word syndrome) it scared her away.

Hind sight is a lovely thing

If I was her and I liked you, I'd be upset too because you're not chasing me. You're planning to do the same trip as me but you didn't make any effort to do the trip with me as you knew I was doing the same trip. You didn't even consult me about it. It's like, you confess your love for me but your actions don't show.

I would be really disappointed and think you didn't like me after all.

Me too, I want a guy to chase me and show me in every possible way that he likes me, even when I told him I only want to be friends (because that can change if a guy does a lot of effort!).

Weird, it makes no logical sense whatsoever that whoever is sponsoring her trip would revoke that just because someone else can schedule a trip to the same place....I don't think there are really any places they could sponsor her to go that someone couldn't just plan a trip to go there because they can.

I could see her maybe feeling like you were trying to compete with her over it or one up her by going first, being irritated if you've never expressed much interest in traveling but now all the sudden you're obsessed with it just because she is....those would make more sense.

But because she's worried that if you go on that trip her sponsers will suddenly not decide to sponsor her trip...and it has to be kept secret that people can travel there of their own accord? that really doesn't make sense.

Stop guessing, sit down and actually talk with her.

What? That's so screwed up. "No is no", right? He told her he liked her, she said she didn't see it that way. So yeah, that's all good and fine, but you can't seriously expect this guy to chain himself to the whims of a girl who rejected him. This is called "moving on". We're not puppies who come back to their owners with mournful eyes as they're getting kicked in the flanks one more time.

They're not married. There should be zero expectation of his modifying his behaviour in other to "chase" someone who doesn't like him that way.

From what I've read in this thread, the girl is pissed simply because she's getting one-upped. When he told her about his AS, she found a way to make even that about herself. OP, you're probably better off moving on.

But I don't want to move on. I've never gotten along with someone so well.

I know she enjoyed my company.

Recently in work every time I passed her she would try to look the other way, get her phone out and basically avoid me at any cost.

She hasn't really been updated on the fact I've booked my asia trip fully.

Yet this morning I get a message on WhatsApp with a link to a cheap trip to Myanmar on Groupon.

I did the exact same thing to her in January, are we just so alike its made things more awkward than it needed to be.

Why would someone who is actively avoiding me, think about me when she sees a deal on Groupon.

She knows that I will start messaging her again, seeing this as yet another olive branch from her. However this time I'm not going to talk about any of the s**t that happened unless we can sit down and talk about it.

Soooooooo we chatted via messages. She told me why she was ignoring me and seemed like she wanted to get back to being friends or whatever.

We covered some things I apologised, she said it was ok.

When we get back in work I couldnt even speak to her when we were In the dinner room with other people around, when there's a few and we're all talking we're fine.

She messaged me and told me to stop being weird about it after I asked if we could chat alone.

Everything she sees me and I say hi she sheepishly responds and can't even look me in the eye. I was walking out the door to our department and turned round and saw her she quickly saw me and then dropped her head and scurried off.

As much as I think about it all I can think is that she is as nervous as me about talking and we both don't know what to say to each other.

Ill give her a few more days and if she keeps replying so sheepishly and looking away I'll just say that a friendship is a 2 way street and I don't think I'm the one who's just being weird about this.

It's unfair to us both that she keeps pulling me back in and putting all the pressure on me to be the one who makes all the steps in the direction she wants.

A friend who's girlfriend is her mate both think that she has been unfair to me and for lack of a better word persecuted me for going peru and that she wouldn't have been like this with anyone else.

I'm starting to fall apart and I was just getting to the point of acceptance that it was over as I have a few times since this all started.