IEP help

Post Reply New Topic

My 15 year old son's IEP is this afternoon, and I asked him what he would like me to say on his behalf, and he asked that they 'be less direct' in the way they approach him at school. I asked him for further explanation, and he said that they make him feel like an idiot.

It's kind of pulling teeth, but I think what he's saying is they aren't being discrete about his accommodations, and he gets embarrassed when he feels like he's not being treated the same as other kids.

Is there a way to say that without offending everyone at the school and making them get defensive? Is there a way to address making his accommodations more private and less obvious to other students in the IEP? If you have had something like that in an EIP, how did you phrase it?

I don't know how they would specifically word it but I think I would approach it this way.

"Well, the good news is my son is socially aware of how he is being perceived. The bad news is that the accommodations are making him feel self conscious around his peers. Can we brainstorm ideas we could use for his IEP to make sure he gets the help he needs but are more discrete so he can blossom socially?"

(The problem here is it would really be helpful to cite the specific issues he is having so they can be addressed, which means it would really help if he could communicate those better to you, so you knwo what specifically needs to be addressed. Asking him for specific examples would be really helpful for this.)

Wow. That's great wording ASDmom.

I have to say, as a former special educator, I wouldn't worry about offending them at all. This is SO normal. And we rely on parents to help us hear the kids out. They so often don't want to say anything at school because that will just embarrass them more. On the other hand, we have the responsibility to help these kids in the classroom, so we want to make sure that autistic kids, who don't pick up subtle communication, know that they have help. But if he's getting the help, and is feeling self-conscious about it, they need to know that.

Please, don't feel weird about saying this kind of thing. We hear it all the time. These are teen-agers! And if your son's helper is at all experienced with this age group, she/he won't be surprised or hurt by it at all.

Thank you so much for those suggestions! IEP meetings make me incredibly nervous because I have to walk the line of advocating for my son and telling a professional how to do their job. That's a great approach, to ask them how to address it and put it in the IEP, especially since I don't really know myself, I just know that there's a problem in a general sense.

Thanks again!

So, how did it go?

Cancelled due to weather.
We'll have to reschedule it for later on in the month.

Oh, no. Maybe you could email the teacher who is helping a little too obviously and let her know that this is an issue? As I said, she'll want to know. And sometimes teens are so unreadable. She might really be curious as to why if he's pulling away from her.