15 month old going through assessment

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Hi all. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read my post and questions. I appreciate any and all input. I hope this is the appropriate place to post this...

My son is 15 months old, and has been displaying some quirky behaviors. Some of these include:
*Eye contact only when he initiates, and only a glance. Will avoid eye contact if not initiated
*Does not respond to his name or any attempt to get his attention
*No verbal or non verbal communication ie he has never babbled, pointed, waved, clapped, etc
*Hand flapping when excited
*Repetitive behavior in the form of "brushing" objects with his fingers. Every object, every time
*Delays across the board, except he is walking now
*Prefers to play alone
*No purposeful play, every toy is either carried around, brushed with his hand, or put in his mouth
*Does not look at me for recognition

Based on these behaviors, his ped sent us to have him evaluated for autism. It's been in my gut for several months that something just isn't right, so I was not overly surprised by this (though it did not make it any easier to hear out loud), however I was very surprised that he would be evaluated at such a young age (again, he's 15 months old).

At what age were your children evaluated? Have you heard of a child being diagnosed so young? After two days of testing, I got a sense that the report will state that he is too young to definitively diagnose and we will be doing this all over again down the road unless something changes drastically. I may be crazy or jumping to conclusions, but I do believe he is at least mildly autistic. Any thoughts? Could these all just be things he will outgrow, so to speak? Anyone else have experience with these characteristics at this age?

This is so heavy on my heart, and I honestly pray that if he is in fact autistic, the doctors just rip off the bandaid and dx him now instead of doing this all again when he's a little older. I want to get him the early intervention he needs.

Thank you all again.

I am absolutely not an expert in this, but I feel that his diagnostic assessment may be coming so early because of the very clear signs.

Not meaning to cause additional upset, but from what you have listed this is not going to be a borderline case. There are very noticeable things that they will be able to identify.

Personally, I think that my daughter may be autistic. But if she is, it's at a similar level to my autism in that it is almost impossible to see on the surface as a casual observer. I notice it because I am around her constantly and because I identify our shared traits, but it would not be clear to others (and I myself flew under the radar well into adulthood). She has sensory difficulties and struggles with taking things too literally, for example, but is hyperlexic and very creative, and does not demonstrate any repetitive behaviour or eye contact differences, and so the struggles she does have can easily be recognised as 'normal toddler behaviour' even though I know from experience that they go beyond the behaviours of her peers. Your son, however, has very visible on-the-surface signs that presumably are easy to observe.

I do think that if my daughter is autistic, she'll remain under the radar herself as well - I'm teaching her ways to manage the struggles I notice, and probably making it even harder to spot! When I expressed my concerns recently when she was 26 months old, I was told that there are "no signs that would be anything to worry about, and in any case we only really look into diagnosis when children are seven years old".

I strongly suspect that she wasn't talking about ALL, or even MOST cases when she told me that. Waiting until seven with a child that has clear observable traits like your son does would perhaps be counterproductive and unnecessary. That said, I don't know how they assess autistic children at this age, though I do know of one child diagnosed before the age of three and who went through speech therapy (and other therapies) and is now in mainstream schooling and communicating relatively well.

In any case, if they do determine him too young to diagnose, at least they will have made big strides towards it now. If he turns out not to show autistic traits down the line then really there is no harm done - at least you've worked towards getting him the support he needs, you can put your mind at rest and he's too young now to be aware of what's being tested. If these traits continue, and personally I well suspect they might, then so much will already be on record that you will not be starting from scratch further down the line. And that will be a huge help, I think.

I knew that my daughter would be impossible to diagnose at her age, but I mentioned it anyway just so that my concerns were recorded for the future. They may have been shrugged off, but I'd rather they were recorded than not. At any age, I think getting the right attention and for someone to listen to your concerns is a difficult enough challenge, and the more they can test and identify now the easier the process will be if he's assessed again in the future.

I hope that you get whatever you feel is the best outcome for your son, ASAP.

My wife and I were pretty much in the same situation you are in 4+ years ago. Our son was displaying clear signs of ASD and he had an assessment at 18 months. Frustratingly he was not diagnosed until a year later. It's extremely difficult for doctors to know for sure at such a young age. It was however very clear to me.

On the positive side, my son immediately entered an early intervention program and started school as well as speech and occupational therapy at 19 months. It was huge for him to go started so early.

After he was diagnosed we started a 30+ hour per week ABA program which was also a big help. He also went to pre school which was important for working on classroom and social skills.

Now he's almost 6 and doing well. We delayed kindergarten a year to give him another year in ABA especially to work on social and communication skills. He will start school in August and I am confident he can be successful in a normal classroom.

It's so difficult when you know so early and you continuously fret about what the future will bring. It drove me nuts. My advice would be to have double the focus a normal family would have on his health. Do everything possible to make sure he eats, sleeps, has lots of fun and is as healthy as can be.

Sleep was very important for my son. Once he got to the point where he could get proper rest, his development really took off. If he is not sleeping, I'd do everything possible to help him now.

I'm not sure where you are located but hopefully you have good access to support services. Learning to navigate those services and insurance coverage is certainly challenging. We live in Ohio in the US.

It's fantastic that you can get started so early focusing on his development regardless of any diagnosis. Hang in there and certainly let me know if I can answer any questions you may have.

My son was diagnosed at 15 months and very soon started to receive intervention. Though I must say that was because my daughter (older) was already diagnosed and receiving intervention, plus we had two nephews (older, too) already confirmed and receiving ABA therapy for a while.

At that age, if you have family history of autism, they give you "early intervention" right away. It's standard practice. Official diagnosis of autism can only happen after the child is 3 years old. But services can start much earlier, depending on the judgment of the psychologist.

As for heavy heart, praying, bandaid and things like that, you are talking to the wrong crowd. This the "Wrong Planet," OK? Whenever I hear someone that just found out their child is on the spectrum, the first word that pops up in my head is a sincere "congratulations!" No sarcasm there. My wife can tell you time and again that, if she had a choice, she would still choose to raise autistic children. She is neurotypical, by the way. Trust me, life is so much more fun. I on my side, have never been able to understand why people cry when they find out their children is on the spectrum. I have never cried because of my children's autism. Not even one single tear drop. I've only had fun. (Privately, I have tried very hard to squeeze out tears pretending I am sad about my children autism. To my frustration, not even one drop came out. Ha ha. And I am the type of person that gets emotional and cries all the time. When I watched the movie "Lion" recently, I cried a river. The young couple sitting next to me had to ask me: "Are you OK?" Ha ha, very embarrassing. Hey, but it was a good movie.) Let me tell you another story. Recently I told the parents of a classmate of my son that my son was on the spectrum. The father then told me: "our family is praying for your son." I just got frozen right there, I did not know how to react. The day after, when our babysitter came, I told her about the story. Mind you, our babysitter was on the spectrum, too, like myself. She just smiled and told me: "When in doubt, smile." We both then had a good laugh. You know what? Our babysitter was the person that by and far helped us with our children the most. Not schools, not ABA therapists. Our children love her. Here is a picture she drew for our children. She only drew the two plushies on the top. My daughter drew the two plushies at the bottom the day after.


So, save all that nonsense about heavy heart and stuff for yourself. Like so many autistic people out there, I am proud to be on the spectrum and I thank Mother Nature for that everyday. Why? Because with my autism I have been able to see things that no one else can see, and solve problems that no one else can solve. That's why.

Thank you so much for your reply! I can see how it would be very difficult to diagnose your daughter. In fact, if my son didn't show so many of the very well known signs, I'm positive you are correct.. he would not be going through evaluation at this time. What a blessing that your daughter has you to work with her as you are so familiar with her needs!

In the US, or at least Ohio, there is a big push right now to diagnose as early as possible. My son is working with a developmental specialist due to his delays, so when I called her for input on his assessment taking place so young, she said my pediatrician was doing the right thing. They are trying to get these kiddos in starting at 14 months! I was so surprised. It wasn't until we were actually at the assessment that I then got the impression that they would still say he was too young to diagnose (and that was based on the woman who evaluated his speech).

I guess I will know soon enough. We get his report back on the 27th. I did get the impression that services, such as speech, would be offered no matter if they diagnosed him at this time or not.. and ultimately, that's what matters most. I just want him to get what he needs!

They can be evaluated that young when the signs are nice and clear like that. The best case scenario is that he gets the help he needs to communicate his needs and you get some insight into helping him balance his emotional/sensory state early. If you do that, your whole family will be happier and he'll have more availability to learn the basics of being human. Part of the issue with autistic kids in school is that they were so busy just holding on in their infancy that they just didn't have time and space for learning much. They were too upset most of the time. Good learning brains are calm and happy. So, if you learn more about how to do that now, you can have a much easier time with him as he emerges from babyhood and into young childhood.

One more note: please understand two things about your kiddo going forward. You don't know how far he'll go. Some doctors will want to give you a prediction. Don't listen to that. The good doctors will tell you what I'm telling you. We can't know at 15 months what the future will hold for your child. Development is too uneven and individual.

Secondly, assume that your son can hear and perceive what is going on around him, even if he seems oblivious. If you need to morn for the loss of the child you expected, please do it privately, or with other understanding adults. Don't do it in front of him. We are more aware than most people give us credit for, especially when it comes to our parent's emotional states.

Thank you for your reply, but please understand that my feelings about this process and my son's potential diagnose by no means reflect on the unconditional love I have for my son, nor do they imply that I would change who he is in the least. I think you took a few statements from my post to heart, and that was not my intention, so I apologize. Does this all weigh heavily on me? Absolutely. It is not uncommon to fear the unknown! I simply want to know bc that will provide me with the information and tools I need to love my son the best way and to help his development along. I understand your feelings, but this is very new to my family. We do not have a history of autism (though my biological family history is widely unknown), so it's so new and scary to us.

Thank you for providing very useful information. I was unaware that family history bumped up the time table for early intervention, but that makes perfect sense. Like I said, my family history is a pretty big mystery, so I don't think they will factor in that there's a "possible" family history of autism. I'm not sure where you are located, but the developmental specialist that works with my son on his delays said that diagnosis here is being pushed earlier and earlier, and within the last year they have started getting kids assessed and diagnosed as early as 14 months. Before I had heard that, I was blown away that it was recommended that my son see a specialist at 15 months. (Again, this is all just so new to me)

Ultimately, I just want to give my son what he needs. We have a very special bond as he was born very very ill (we were told he may not survive), and that I would not trade for anything. He is my world. My son is perfect, in my eyes. My struggle lies with finding answers. This band aid I want removed is my wanting to move forward so that I have tools to help communicate with my child and to understand why he does our doesn't do certain things.

And your babysitter, my goodness, she sounds so amazing! I'm so happy you have found the perfect match for your family. Your children clearly thrive immensely in part because of her!

So again, I'm sorry that I offended you, it was by no means my goal here. We all love our kids to the moon, and we will all go to any length possible to give them the life they deserve. If my son is happy and healthy, I'm a happy mama. Now I just need to know if there are things I should be doing differently bc he understands or sees the world a different way than I do.

Ahhhh, so i responded to you once and came back to see if i had any replies..sure enough the post is missing. So let me try this again

First off, what a small world! We are also in Ohio. My son had his assessment at the cleveland clinic. Our insurance is horrible to begin with so we are going into this assuming we will be paying for the majority of everything out of pocket, that way if they help out at all we are happily surprised. My son currently sees a developmental specialist for his delays, and when I asked her some questions regarding diagnosis and insurance not covering most treatments, she said a bill was passed in Ohio and companies are going to have to start covering therapies in the next few months. You probably already knew that, but thought I would throw it out there!

It's very reassuring to hear that even though your son was not diagnosed promptly, he was placed into interventional services. While this process is very frustrating, it does make me feel better that they will hopefully introduce speech now, at the very least, even if they want to hold off to dx.

He actually sleeps great at night, as long as we stick to his daily routine. Once we go off that much, he seems to have trouble settling. It took a long time to realize that was the key, but now that we have.. it's been so much easier (knock on wood). I really need to start buckling down on diet and nutrition now, but it's overwhelming.

I think that is so awesome your son is going into a mainstream kindergarten and so well prepared for it! He's going to do amazing things.

Thank you do much for responding. This was very helpful! Now I'm going to cross my fingers that this posts this time!

[

They can be evaluated that young when the signs are nice and clear like that. The best case scenario is that he gets the help he needs to communicate his needs and you get some insight into helping him balance his emotional/sensory state early. If you do that, your whole family will be happier and he'll have more availability to learn the basics of being human. Part of the issue with autistic kids in school is that they were so busy just holding on in their infancy that they just didn't have time and space for learning much. They were too upset most of the time. Good learning brains are calm and happy. So, if you learn more about how to do that now, you can have a much easier time with him as he emerges from babyhood and into young childhood.

One more note: please understand two things about your kiddo going forward. You don't know how far he'll go. Some doctors will want to give you a prediction. Don't listen to that. The good doctors will tell you what I'm telling you. We can't know at 15 months what the future will hold for your child. Development is too uneven and individual.

Secondly, assume that your son can hear and perceive what is going on around him, even if he seems oblivious. If you need to morn for the loss of the child you expected, please do it privately, or with other understanding adults. Don't do it in front of him. We are more aware than most people give us credit for, especially when it comes to our parent's emotional states.[/quote]

Thank you for making some very good suggestions. I'm really at a loss as to what to expect when we get my son's report back. I don't see how anyone could possibly predict his future (though I know he is going to do great things!!) I will definitely take what they have to say, in that regard, with a grain of salt.

And i can assure you, my son is a complete joy. He very very rarely sees me upset, and most definitely never on his account. He's my little miracle. We were told he may not even come home from the hospital when he was born bc he was so sick. I didn't get to hear him cry or even hold him for 8 days while he was intubated. And after that, it was few and far between for awhile. I cried tears of joy the first time i heard his cry because it was a welcome noise. He's a fighter!! ! I said then, i will never complain about his crying because we weren't sure he would ever hear it at all. So everything he IS able to do, is a blessing. He may not look me in the eyes for the most part, but when he does my heart just bursts.

Ok. Sorry to be sappy. But thank you again. I will keep your suggestions and use them!

Aw! Sounds like he's a miracle baby.

I'm glad the advice was perhaps not needed.

I can't tell you everything of what to expect. But the doctors will likely come back with a somewhat longish report on the various tests they gave him. Some of these tests are going to be rather silly sounding when you realize what they really did. They have fancy names for everything! But the important thing is that they are going to make recomendations about what kind of EI (early intervention) supports he needs. The kind of label he gets is relatively unimportant at this point. (It will get more important as he gets older.) But the services he receives are more important.

I don't know where you live, but where I am, the EI programs are excellent. I know the woman who lead teaches in our town and she's lovely. I used to work as a support teacher in one of these programs. The EI hasn't been hit by all of this accountablity/core curriculum stuff you hear about, so it's usually one of the better staffed and creative programs. At 15 months, a lot of states offer in-home services. They will come to your home and work with your son. This makes him more comfortable and it also gives them a chance to teach you (the parent) about how you can help your son with his "homework."

It's my way of talking.

I have a few tips for you.

I always remember what Janet Reno (the then US Attorney General) said during the Elián González's case: "Parents have the right to raise their kids as they see fit."

What I mean to say is: you are in charge. You are the boss.

Now, people will try to convince you that your child is delayed, your child has a disorder, that he needs assistance and need help in acquiring speech and becoming social. In short, they will look at your child as a sick child that needs to be treated. Let me tell you something. Homosexuality was classified as a mental illness in DSM (the diagnosis manual) in 1953, yet gay marriage became legalized in the US in 2016, some 63 years later. Psychologists do change opinions. I advise you to check out Simon Baron-Cohen, the leading UK autism authority, and understand why he describes autism as a condition and not as a disorder. I advise you the check out Prof. Dr. Barry Prizant, and understand why he explicitly says: "Autism isn't an illness. It's a different way of being human. Children with autism aren't sick; they are progressing through developmental stagesas we all do. To help them, we don't need to change or fix them. We need to work to understand them, and then change what we do." These are researchers that have worked with hundreds, if not thousands, of autistic children. They say the very same things that I say.

Your child is perfect the way he is. Autism happens at a rate of 1 in 68, or 1.5%. Mother Nature does not make mistakes at that level. In other words, autistic people are intended by Mother Nature. They don't have problems. They are simply different. So this begs the question: what the hell are we doing with all the extra speech therapy and socialization efforts?

We are sick. Our society is sick. We focus on the differences of these children from neurotypical children, and we get alarmed. We hold neurotypical children as the golden standard, as our ideal. Unfortunately, when you take that view, you are looking down at your own children. It does not matter what you say (everyone says they love and respect their children, right?), it matters what you do.

Here is one final tip. You will run into lots of issues with your son, if he indeed is on the spectrum. He will have tantrums. Maybe even unable to learn in regular classroom settings. But remember, he is not sick, OK? He needs nothing out of ordinary to make him be happy and learn. Here is the final tip. When you become frustrated at yourself, get a tape (packaging tape, cut about 4 inches) and put it over your mouth. Now all you have is your brain and your hands. If you know how to communicate with your child by using your brain and your hands, then you'll know how to raise him into a happy and smart boy. As simple as that. And this is the single most important tip for anyone out there that have problem raising their autistic children. Your mouth is your worst enemy in raising your child. You need to use your hands, not your mouth.

This is the picture my son's teacher took when my son gave a presentation last week about the elevator inside the Washington monument. Take a look, and think about my words. Yeap, I made the poster, and the elevator could go up and down. Really cool stuff. Cheap, too. I am the cheapest guy when it comes to spending money on my children's autism.



This is my son and daughter singining "It's Raining Tacos." You love your child? Prove it with your hands. Mind you, I have no formal music training. To what extent would you go for your children? Can you catch up with me? To tell you the truth, I am nobody in the technical field. A colleague recently built a 3D printer from parts for his 7-year old daughters. I am not asking you that. I am asking something much simpler. I am asking you to draw pictures, to google, and to use your fingers.


Autism is not about chasing after solutions out there. YOU are the solution. Put a tape over your mouth, and you will figure out the rest. As simple as that.

CRMom - just be aware that as a sight for people on the spectrum, we have a fair number of people here who don't have great social skills around here.

Take what works, leave the rest. And if it starts to feel like too much to deal with, you are welcome to contact myself via PM. That goes for a lot of the people who post here more often. If you connect with someone, and you are feeling picked on by someone else, you can PM the person you connect with. Or if it crosses the line, please do report them.

Richard Feynman wrote a book, with the title "What Do You Care What Other People Think?"

If your personal worth has to depend on other people's opinion, you will never be happy.

I don't pick on people. I only offer my advice. And I think I have something to offer, I think. Ha ha. I think so because my children are happy: any school teacher, any therapist that have work with my children will tell you that. Unlike most other parents, I don't struggle. I've always had fun with my children. Other parents will tell you raising autistic children is hard. I don't find it hard. I find it fun. Virtually every single issue you guys have raised about autistic children, been there, done that. Speech delay, tantrums, stims, refusal to take medicines, etc., you name it. You've gotta ask yourself: why can this guy have an easy life, when his children had all the "symptoms" of all the autistic children? Why are the children of this guy always happy and smiling? How can all that even be possible, if this guy has personality problems?

I have a peculiar way of talking here. That's theatrical. Sure, it's nice to always give out compliments, but nothing gets done that way. It's a bit like US and Canada. US is autistic, Canada is neurotypical. US was born because it threw a tantrum and got things done. You may prefer the Canadian way, I don't. Millions of children's lives have been ruined. If that does not pain you as a human being, then you do not qualify as a human being. Saving a child's life is important to me. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to put up some theatricals to call people's attention. I've tried everything. I've been nice, courteous and polite. And I have seen children's lives ruined right in front of my eyes. Trust me, if I talk in some peculiar way, it's because that's the best way, after years of trying.

As for people on the spectrum, I have this message for you: don't look down on yourselves. Be a leader, not a follower. Your destiny is not to fit in, but to stand out. Those are the same words I tell my children.

Yesterday, I went to school for my daughter's IEP meeting. I'd like to share a section from the meeting's paper record. As always, I have changed my daughter name here, not so much for privacy, but simply as a matter of respect towards her. She is comfortable with me changing her name in public settings.


These are not my words. These are words coming a school teacher. She asked Mindy to describe herself, and look at what Mindy wrote down. The teacher said that if she hadn't stopped Mindy, Mindy would have gone on and on. The IEP lasted only for a few minutes to complete the formality. We set up only one single goal towards improving some part of Mindy's speech. I asked for public speaking opportunities for Mindy. Everyone had an easy session and plenty of laugh, including the principal.

The matter of fact is, I treat my children as equals. Never viewed them for one second as having a disorder. To me, they simply have a different way of learning, a different path of growing up. That's all. Do your children describe themselves as "polite, talented, determined, creative, compassionate, kind, brave, and patient"?

Would anyone believe that this is an officially diagnosed autistic child, once upon a time?

Is Mindy "cured" from autism? Yeah right. She is autistic, like myself, and will be autistic for the rest of her life. People confuse autism with underdevelopment. The two things are totally separate from each other. Mindy is fully autistic. The only difference between her and other autistic children is: Mindy is fully developed. That's all.

It doesn't matter what you say. Everyone says they love and respect their children. But when you start to run around looking for "therapies" for your children, when you start to give medication to your children, who do you think you are going to fool? Children are not dumb. When you think there is something wrong with them, they can tell. And with that, you are harming their self-esteem.

The solution to autism is not out there. Parents themselves are the solution. The solution to autism is right here, at home. It's all in your hands. Unfortunately, without putting a tape over your mouth, parents won't realize that
(a) they themselves are the solution,
(b) they need to use their hands, be creative, and communicate with their children through their handwork: drawing, writing, animation video making, poster making, build-block structures, etc.

And that's the main difference between myself and other parents. While other parents run around and talk, I use my hands and communicate with my children through my handwork. It's your choice: your hands, or your mouth. You make the choice, and your children either thrive or perish.