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wrongcitizen
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19 Feb 2017, 6:12 am

Hey, so I need help. I have no idea what I'm attracted to. I am slightly attracted to women and men, but to a very small degree. I just say I'm Asexual or Bisexual, but I've never been sure.

However when someone Or myself wear certain clothes, or certain fabrics, I become very attracted, even to myself wearing them. I can't wear these clothes or fabrics in public because I become very uncomfortable and I'm unable to talk, but I get attracted to either myself or someone else when in private.

And lastly, I need help sorting this out: I know I'm going to bother some people by saying this but I've never quite understood the multiple identifications or sexes thing. I stand with the people who say there are 2 sexualities, but I think that within each of those there should be more categories because people differ from each other. So essentially, what does it mean to have multiple sexualities? How can someone be neither boy or girl, or both, or neither? I've tried asking these to people I know who are against the 2 genders only concept, but they get frustrated with me, (in fact people get frustrated with me in general when I ask them questions like this) so I'd like some help here. Do they mean physical gender, biological, psychological? I appreciate responses; Thanks



kraftiekortie
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23 Feb 2017, 9:25 am

Are you attracted to the scent/texture of the clothes themselves----or the person in the clothes?

If you're only attracted to the clothes themselves, this would be considered a "fetish." Let me emphasize: as long you're not harming yourself or others, I see nothing wrong with fetishism. It's actually fairly common.

One could get aroused merely by rubbing their genitals onto a fabric. It doesn't mean you're necessarily attracted to the fabric. The arousal is caused by friction. It's a "normal" reaction.

Put simply, I believe your "sexuality" is what you are sexually attracted to most.



wrongcitizen
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24 Feb 2017, 2:37 am

Interesting. My "fetish" seems to be the only thing that attracts me to people. I'm attracted to anyone as long as it fits the fetish.



kraftiekortie
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24 Feb 2017, 8:37 am

I had somewhat of a fetish for womens panties when I was an adolescent.

Though I wish I could feel a woman that wore the panties, too.



Hippygoth
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24 Feb 2017, 6:20 pm

Your sexuality is your sexual orientation, of which there are far more than two (gay, lesbian, bi, pan, omni, ace etc.). I think perhaps you mean gender, in which case there's also more than two. Many people identify as both male and female, or as neither - they might prefer a term such as gender-fluid or gender-queer. Your gender isn't the same thing as your physical sex. I am cisgender, meaning my gender matches the sex I was born as. Others might be transgender. Someone might also be intersex, which again is different.

I don't think you necessarily need to be able to understand, just respect them and listen.



C2V
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26 Feb 2017, 8:20 am

Quote:
If you're only attracted to the clothes themselves, this would be considered a "fetish." Let me emphasize: as long you're not harming yourself or others, I see nothing wrong with fetishism. It's actually fairly common.

Agreed - sexual fetishism. Which as Kraftie says is mostly harmless unless of course it's harmful to someone else or to you, as in you have a problem with being aroused by the fetish. Then, sexual fetishism can be a bloody nightmare. If it doesn't bother you to be aroused that way then hell, live it up. It might help you out to have such an easy "on switch." You might be bi-attracted, but just don't have much of an interest - as mentioned in another topic here, people don't seem to believe that qualifies as asexuality because you are sexually attracted, but it seems a very grey area.
Quote:
Your sexuality is your sexual orientation, of which there are far more than two (gay, lesbian, bi, pan, omni, ace etc.). I think perhaps you mean gender, in which case there's also more than two. Many people identify as both male and female, or as neither - they might prefer a term such as gender-fluid or gender-queer. Your gender isn't the same thing as your physical sex. I am cisgender, meaning my gender matches the sex I was born as. Others might be transgender. Someone might also be intersex, which again is different.

Also agreed - but sub-categories unfortunately sometimes just make things more confusing than more clear.
Quote:
How can someone be neither boy or girl, or both, or neither?

Because you can be genderqueer and fabulous! :mrgreen: I suppose someone is neither male nor female in the same way as others ARE males or females. They just are. It is an internal association of what you feel psychologically. You may appear, or behave, in a very traditionally gendered way while still knowing internally you are neither male nor female, or you may present and behave in an androgynous way, to reflect the way you feel. You may be transgender or transsexual, or you may not. Some people may be middle-ground all the time and feel genderless, or some people may bounce between feeling very male sometimes, very female other times, and may dress/behave/identify as both male or female at different times or in different situations.
Confusing?
I'm genderqueer in the genderless sense, if that helps. I don't have a gender - psychologically, sexually, physically, legally, socially. Am considered both transgender and transsexual since I have/am transitioning.
Am also bisexual/pansexual as I can feel sexual attraction to anyone of any gender potentially, but am not (at this point anyway) interested in having sex with another person. Some say that makes me bi-attracted asexual, but others would vehemently disagree.
What about you???


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