Why You Should Start Caring About How You Look

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You don't even have to be super attractive to find someone, that's a myth.

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precisely.

appearances are superficial and materialistic.

what matters is what's on the inside, not the outside.

outwardly someone could be beautiful, athletic, whatever.

the cosmetics and weight loss and fashion industries earn a lot of $$ successfully convincing consumers that the consumers will be happy or happier with the expensive merchandise.

Every word is true.

Appearances-- the fact that I showed up at the ER wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt-- might very well be the reason we lost a baby. They saw a drug addict, not a woman who was 10 weeks pregnant and in trouble.

Didn't matter that I keep myself neat and clean most of the time. What mattered THAT day was that I'd spent the whole previous day at the nursing home with my stepmom, stopped to drop off some groceries to my grandma, gone "home" (I was staying in my parents' house after my dad's sudden death, living off of what you can pack in the trunk of a compact car with three kids), tried to get the laundry done (in order to give the kids as much as I could including room for toys I'd limited myself to three changes of street clothes and two pairs of PJs), and fallen into bed sick only to have the phone ring at 2 AM saying Mom had fallen and I needed to meet her at the ER... Well in the process of getting two kids in diapers changed and out the door, s**t got on my last clean pair of jeans-- given the choice between s**t and PJ bottoms, I picked the PJs...

Looking good enough to be judged well LITERALLY makes the difference between life and death.

But-- f**k it. Just f**k it. You can do it every day, and the one day that you fail (even if an NT would be struggling under those circumstances too) appearances can still kill you.

Take a shower. Brush your hair. Brush your teeth. Keep your nails short and neat. Make sure your clothes (at least, your costumes for the live-action role-play known as "passing") are appropriate to the dress code, clean, unstained, and in good repair. I know it's hard to come up with the energy-- do it anyway.

In your personal life?? When you're not dealing with an educational, medical, or legal authority who has power over you and you're not selling your time to somebody??

f**k THEM. Wear your sweats and your old, stained t-shirts and your ratty messy hair. NT's like to relax in their sweats too-- ever read a "mommy blog"??

So they might not want you if you don't look good enough?? ??

Being alone forever is scary.

I can tell you about something scarier-- HAVING EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BE "ON-STAGE BEHAVIOR" BECAUSE YOU BUILT A LIFE WITH SOMEONE WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH THE MASK.

Now-- Does that make it harder to find people??

Harder to find friends?? Yes-- but at least the ones you have will be people you can be yourself with.

Harder to find a special someone?? Yes. More likely that you'll end up alone?? Yes.

Single doesn't have to mean lonely and miserable. Better to be alone than to live a lie.

I agree OP. What I'm attracted to most physically is how someone presents themselves and how hygienic they are.

Clothes that are old and tattered or several sizes too small = no from me

Clothes that have stains on them from not being washed = no from me

Dirty nails and dirty hands because people don't wash their hands = no from me

Teeth that clearly aren't regularly cleaned (I'm not talking about crooked teeth) = no from me

Hair that is greasy, messy, matted etc. = no from me

It's the same with your home. When you invite a date around, for the love of God make sure it's clean. Messy is a different thing, but be clean!

If you clean yourself regularly and keep a decent wardrobe (clothes that aren't 15 years old and they actually fit) then that's what I'll fine attractive in how you look. I don't care about makeup and jewellery and all the rest. I just care that you look clean and well.

My ex bf was the above. He'd never really wash, his clothes were old and too small, he'd never brush his teeth and complained about ulcers, his hair was way too overgrown and constantly greasy, and his hands were always so dirty. His microwave was filled with about 10 years of grease and food and clearly never been cleaned and I felt so sick looking at it and I didn't want to be rude and change my mind so I used it and prayed like heck that I wouldn't get sick. His whole house was filthy. He has autism like myself, but he didn't care about how he looked or how clean his home was. I had severe asthma attacks every time I went there, it was so dusty. He never opened his bedroom door or windows, and he smoked like a chimney so the room was just stuffed with years of smoke, dust, cat hair, grime, you name it. Cleanliness is something that really puts me off. Whenever I went with him places, it was embarrassing because he literally looked homeless. I ended up breaking up with him because he only seemed to care about video games and nothing else. He didn't care about me, he didn't care about himself, he just cared to play video games and sleep all day. No goals, no aspirations, no life. He was boring. I need more than that. I need someone who cares about themselves, their partner (me) and their life and surroundings. I need them to love me properly.

Well, I strike others as decently dressed, but I really can't help looking like I'm living in the wrong decade.