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RetroGamer87
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01 May 2017, 10:09 pm

Moving out could be difficult. In some cities the rent is so high even people with jobs have difficulty affording it (hint: renters are paying off someone else's mortgage).

As for buying a house, that's a very distant dream for both of us.

The system is designed to make money for those who have capital and to prevent us from getting any.


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RetroGamer87
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02 May 2017, 3:26 am

Since you're probably not going to be able to move out or get a job, you should learn to content with what you have.

It's no use focusing on the things you can't have.


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EmilyRyan
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02 May 2017, 9:10 pm

That reminds me I keep forgetting to mention the one bright side I have a friend with a heart of gold he's letting me move in him for free (he owns his own house) and expenses free (like food and other essentials). I just hope maybe just maybe I can get a little grocery store job to help pay for stuff and have some extras it's just the matter of one being willing to hire and accommodate. The bulk of my autism (still undetermined but convinced) and learning disability just makes me learn and do tasks slower than the average person.



RetroGamer87
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03 May 2017, 5:33 pm

EmilyRyan wrote:
learning disability just makes me learn and do tasks slower than the average person.
Same for me. If I hadn't been very, very lucky, I'd be unemployed now.


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EmilyRyan
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05 May 2017, 4:10 pm

Maybe I'll get lucky soon and if not what would you suggest I do as far as income and not starving??



RetroGamer87
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05 May 2017, 9:01 pm

I suggest you continue living with your parents.

If you don't get a job you'll probably have to live with your parents for the rest of your life.

I won't sugarcoat it. I'm Assessing your situation realistically rather than giving you empty platitudes.

Your one hope is the Specialisterne program is Nashville. You have spare time now so check it out. If you don't call them you're failing yourself by ignoring your biggest opportunity.


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EmilyRyan
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07 May 2017, 12:22 am

Thing is my parents refuse to believe I have autism and just think I constantly have "my head in a cloud" so they won't help me at all except just telling me to "get with the program" or simply "you can do it". I've since gave up on getting them to help since all it did is lead to near arguments and conflict. And as I said before there are other factors as to why I'm moving out and also if I wasn't planning to move out my parents would force me out anyway. Sadly I can't continue to live with them plus I'm getting to live with my friend for free so no bills to worry (till i get a job anyway).

And also what if Specialisterne doesn't work out??



Alita
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11 May 2017, 8:55 am

EmilyRyan wrote:
Thing is my parents refuse to believe I have autism and just think I constantly have "my head in a cloud" so they won't help me at all except just telling me to "get with the program" or simply "you can do it". I've since gave up on getting them to help since all it did is lead to near arguments and conflict. And as I said before there are other factors as to why I'm moving out and also if I wasn't planning to move out my parents would force me out anyway. Sadly I can't continue to live with them plus I'm getting to live with my friend for free so no bills to worry (till i get a job anyway).

And also what if Specialisterne doesn't work out??


Your situation sounds a lot like mine was. Can I ask, regarding this friend of yours, how long have you known him? Is he someone you and your parents trust? If so, I wouldn't hesitate to move in with him. You'll probably find things get better after that. (Sounds like your parents are giving you a lot of grief which is affecting your confidence).


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HisShadowX
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11 May 2017, 2:44 pm

archvillain wrote:
In the United States, Aspergers, no matter the DSM classification, i.e. "on the spectrum" is a protected classification. Disclose your condition to your employer or potential employer, would be my thought. Knowing your limitations and gifts, employers can make reasonable allowances for your "mistakes" while reinforcing your strengths. I know it's scary. But if you don't invoke the Federal and State laws in your defense, then NTs will abuse you. That's the way they roll. I've taken a lifetime of it, been fired many times, or taken advantage of over and over. It sucks. The sooner you learn to guard yourself, the better.

Do not dispair. You are not alone. I stand with you. We all do.



Aspergers no longer exists in the United States and is upgraded to Autism Spectrum Disorder.

As for these protections they only apply if your officially diagnosised. I cannot recommend she get vocational rehabilitation if she does not have a diagnosis or request job accommodation without a diangosis.

Also requesting a 'Reasonable Accomdation' requires medical documentation and will often require a signed statement from your doctor or psychologist.

We literally had a self diagnosisers from our IRL Autism Group come in whine for attention (like always) and whine how his lawyers he tried to hire wouldn't sue anyone he tried to work for by demanding accomdation and the only proof he would show is a Facebook/xanga quiz that told him he was autistic.

Emily if you do have a diangosis I recommend you should look into your States vocational rehabilitation be prepared to bring in your documents not a internet quiz doesnt mean your autistic and won't count and have them tell you to see a real doctor.

I was able to get a good job and support myself

EmilyRyan wrote:
Thing is my parents refuse to believe I have autism and just think I constantly have "my head in a cloud" so they won't help me at all except just telling me to "get with the program" or simply "you can do it". I've since gave up on getting them to help since all it did is lead to near arguments and conflict. And as I said before there are other factors as to why I'm moving out and also if I wasn't planning to move out my parents would force me out anyway. Sadly I can't continue to live with them plus I'm getting to live with my friend for free so no bills to worry (till i get a job anyway).

And also what if Specialisterne doesn't work out??


So as of right now you don't have Autism or it's not known you have it so technically until you see a professional your not autistic like for example my gender isn't an Apache helicopter.

You want to see a Clinical Pyschologist and schedule some visits with your insurance.

Your last sentence what if they say your not Autistic then your not autistic.

If they diangosis you with another mental disorder manic disorder listen to the professionals and follow your doctors advice rather than the internets. We once had a self diangosiser who was committed because after he was diagnosised with something else was convinced online and in person by others like him and enabled to claim he was autistic when he was not.

When he was arrested and then committed because he hurt someone his parents have to now look into options of limiting his internet access so self diagnosisers convince him not to take his meds again and that he was autistic because a quiz and how he felt told him so



HisShadowX
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11 May 2017, 3:07 pm

JohnnyLurg wrote:
JohnnyLurg wrote:
Why did they take away accommodations?? Shouldn't that be illegal??


Not if they were never specifically referred to as disability based and there was no involvement from ADA, which there wasn't.


Also most people forget when a person with a diagnosised disability asks for an accomdation they have to request a reasonable accomdation and it must not cause an undue hardship on an employer. Also very important as well you can not just say you have this diangosis and you diagnosised yourself you need to go through the proper steps.


I'm going to report my previous post about disclosing

Depending on a person's job disclosing might be the best and worst thing. Most people have the mistaken belief that ADA protects you once you disclose so they can't fire you. If your disability is something that can cause an undue burden on your employer then you can be fired. So it's always best to go into a profession that works well with your disability. You definitely don't want to do retail, or a receptionist gig when your prone to melt downs cause an employer would have a right to fire you for a melt down.

Keep in mind feeling offended because you feel you're being 'babied" might be a symptom of a larger problem. I recommend people disclose but definitely work on it with your therapist on how to go about it. Cause you don't want to be put into their "ret*d radar" in which they think your an idiot so they give you the easy stuff and talk down to you which ensures you prob won't get much promotions.

In my case when I disclose and it's not done right people think I am lying and there is nothing wrong with me but one thing about autism even though many of us can act the part of 'normal' it comes out eventually and those people then felt you lied to them because you came off as successful.

I linked some ADA law about disclosure because when conversations about disclosing come up there is always misinformation with people saying, "they can't fire you after that point because of your disability" or "you can sue them and go to the EEOC for discrimination!"

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Example 19: Tom, a program director, has successfully controlled most symptoms of his bipolar disorder for a long period, but lately he has had a recurrence of certain symptoms. In the past couple of weeks, he has sometimes talked uncontrollably and his judgment has seemed erratic, leading him to propose projects and deadlines that are unrealistic. At a staff meeting, he becomes angry and disparaging towards a colleague who disagrees with him. Tom’s supervisor tells him after the meeting that his behavior was inappropriate. Tom agrees and reveals for the first time that he has bipolar disorder. He explains that he believes he is experiencing a recurrence of symptoms and says that he will contact his doctor immediately to discuss medical options. The next day Tom provides documentation from his doctor explaining the need to put him on different medication, and stating that it should take no more than six to eight weeks for the medication to eliminate the symptoms. The doctor believes Tom can still continue working, but that it would be helpful for the next couple of months if Tom had more discussions with his supervisor about projects and deadlines so that he could receive feedback to ensure that his goals are realistic. Tom also requests that his supervisor provide clear instructions in writing about work assignments as well as intermediate timetables to help him keep on track. The supervisor responds that Tom must treat his colleagues with respect and agrees to provide for up to two months all of the reasonable accommodations Tom has requested because they would assist him to continue performing his job without causing an undue hardship.

[b]Practical Guidance: Ideally, employees will request reasonable accommodation before conduct problems arise, or at least before they become too serious.52 Although the ADA [b]does not require employees
to ask for an accommodation at a specific time, the timing of a request for reasonable accommodation is important because an employer does not have to rescind discipline (including termination) warranted by misconduct. Employees should not assume that an employer knows that an accommodation is needed to address a conduct issue merely because the employer knows about the employee’s disability. Nor does an employer’s knowledge of an employee’s disability require the employer to ask if the misbehavior is disability-related.

________

Example 20: An employee informs her supervisor that she has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. A few months later, the supervisor asks to meet with the employee concerning her work on a recent assignment. At the meeting, the supervisor explains that the employee’s work has been generally good, but he provides some constructive criticism. The employee becomes angry, yells at the supervisor, and curses him when the supervisor tells her she cannot leave the meeting until he has finished discussing her work. The company terminates the employee, the same punishment given to any employee who is insubordinate. The employee protests her termination, telling the supervisor that her outburst was a result of her bipolar disorder which makes it hard for her to control her temper when she is feeling extreme stress. She says she was trying to get away from the supervisor when she felt she was losing control, but he ordered her not to leave the room. The employee apologizes and requests that the termination be rescinded and that in the future she be allowed to leave the premises if she feels that the stress may cause her to engage in inappropriate behavior. The employer may leave the termination in place without violating the ADA because the employee’s request for reasonable accommodation came after her insubordinate conduct.

SOURCE: https://www.eeoc.gov/facts/performance-conduct.html



EmilyRyan
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13 May 2017, 12:08 am

HisShadowX wrote:
archvillain wrote:
In the United States, Aspergers, no matter the DSM classification, i.e. "on the spectrum" is a protected classification. Disclose your condition to your employer or potential employer, would be my thought. Knowing your limitations and gifts, employers can make reasonable allowances for your "mistakes" while reinforcing your strengths. I know it's scary. But if you don't invoke the Federal and State laws in your defense, then NTs will abuse you. That's the way they roll. I've taken a lifetime of it, been fired many times, or taken advantage of over and over. It sucks. The sooner you learn to guard yourself, the better.

Do not dispair. You are not alone. I stand with you. We all do.



Aspergers no longer exists in the United States and is upgraded to Autism Spectrum Disorder.

As for these protections they only apply if your officially diagnosised. I cannot recommend she get vocational rehabilitation if she does not have a diagnosis or request job accommodation without a diangosis.

Also requesting a 'Reasonable Accomdation' requires medical documentation and will often require a signed statement from your doctor or psychologist.

We literally had a self diagnosisers from our IRL Autism Group come in whine for attention (like always) and whine how his lawyers he tried to hire wouldn't sue anyone he tried to work for by demanding accomdation and the only proof he would show is a Facebook/xanga quiz that told him he was autistic.

Emily if you do have a diangosis I recommend you should look into your States vocational rehabilitation be prepared to bring in your documents not a internet quiz doesnt mean your autistic and won't count and have them tell you to see a real doctor.

I was able to get a good job and support myself

EmilyRyan wrote:
Thing is my parents refuse to believe I have autism and just think I constantly have "my head in a cloud" so they won't help me at all except just telling me to "get with the program" or simply "you can do it". I've since gave up on getting them to help since all it did is lead to near arguments and conflict. And as I said before there are other factors as to why I'm moving out and also if I wasn't planning to move out my parents would force me out anyway. Sadly I can't continue to live with them plus I'm getting to live with my friend for free so no bills to worry (till i get a job anyway).

And also what if Specialisterne doesn't work out??


So as of right now you don't have Autism or it's not known you have it so technically until you see a professional your not autistic like for example my gender isn't an Apache helicopter.

You want to see a Clinical Pyschologist and schedule some visits with your insurance.

Your last sentence what if they say your not Autistic then your not autistic.

If they diangosis you with another mental disorder manic disorder listen to the professionals and follow your doctors advice rather than the internets. We once had a self diangosiser who was committed because after he was diagnosised with something else was convinced online and in person by others like him and enabled to claim he was autistic when he was not.

When he was arrested and then committed because he hurt someone his parents have to now look into options of limiting his internet access so self diagnosisers convince him not to take his meds again and that he was autistic because a quiz and how he felt told him so


I never took an internet quiz I had long talks with a counselor at the community college I attended and he's experienced with autism the reason I'm not diagnosed officially is because the counselors aren't allowed to they're there to mainly help students cope with stress. What I am diagnosed officially with though is a learning disability I have the paperwork to prove though I fear it may be too outdated to do any good.

Would go and get an appointment to be officially tested for autism but I can't afford it, I don't have the insurance, and my parents refuse to help out. Hope that clarifies that.



EmilyRyan
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13 May 2017, 12:27 am

Alita wrote:
Your situation sounds a lot like mine was. Can I ask, regarding this friend of yours, how long have you known him? Is he someone you and your parents trust? If so, I wouldn't hesitate to move in with him. You'll probably find things get better after that. (Sounds like your parents are giving you a lot of grief which is affecting your confidence).


He is someone I deeply trust and I've known him for over three years now my parents however don't trust him because he's gay and have no clue I still speak to him.

And it's just not only my parents giving me grief it's also the lack of understanding from employers