Not sure if I'm capable of self-sufficiency

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A local charity that assists people with mental health and drug addiction problems paid $4000 for a course I am taking. It was a situation where I just lucked out. I mentioned to my worker that I was doing some typing and transcription and would like to take a specialization. Just an offhand remark; but it turned out they had an education budget that needed to be spent before the end of the year. And so I am enrolled and doing okay, although I feel constant pressure to be working as I have already gotten one extension and do not want to get another. But the coursework is really hard. It's medical transcription and the variety and quantity of medical terms is daunting.

Anyway, I anticipate completing the course and becoming certified by the end of June.

I am fearful of a couple of things. That I won't be able to complete the course (but I think I will,) and that when I do get working in the field, I will screw it up somehow. I'm 46 years old and have had so many jobs, none of which worked for me. I really don't want to be dependent on disability benefits for my lifetime (it's barely enough to live on.)

So I think I might be successful at this employment, but I am scared of not being so.

In the meantime I am staying with my Mom in her bachelor apartment, sleeping on the futon . She has been really kind taking me in while I finish my course, but it is a strain on us both. I really, really want to be financially stable.

Honestly, all any of us can do is plug along the best we can and hope for the best. I know that sounds cliche, but I've learned that's the only way I can handle it myself (and I have a wonderful husband who supports me; I just like to be able to put as less of a burden on him as possible by doing what I can to help pay for my own stuff).

I'm about to apply for a new job today after melting out of my old one. I go back and forth between substitute teaching and direct support professional work. There are some students and clients with whom I've had great success, but other times, there's conflict, catastrophe, and meltdown over something or someone or other. I can typically handle a position only for about a year before something comes up that convinces me to move back to the other thing.

If there was a better way, I'd share it with you, but this is all I've got figured out so far.

Hope the best for you.

Teaching must be incredibly demanding. I have never done it; I don't like kids very much, so it wouldn't work for me. The longest I ever worked at the same job (bookstore clerk) was 5 years. Since then it's been 1, 2 years at most. I just kept breaking down.
Along with the gift of the transcription course, I have also found a psychiatrist who is taking an interest in getting my medication right and the effect is encouraging to me. If I can remain mentally stable I might be able to maintain a steady job. Transcription work can be done from home which is good as I struggle socially.
Good luck at your job interview.

Good luck to all of you in your new positions.

Have you tried single-spaced repetition to help you learn the medical terms? The free software Anki is very useful for memorizing such things.

That sounds like an interesting technique. I am transcribing medical reports and getting a lot of exposure to the terms. I am doing pretty good at remembering the words, but some terms are so similar I will have to make cue cards to practice.

I have decided that at present I am not capable of self-sufficiency and my mother and I have decided that once I get working we will get a larger place together. I like this idea and hope we can get a nice place.

Make sure the place is two bedrooms LOL.....and that you don't sleep on the couch.

Just stay out of each other's way if you don't desire each other's presence. But in a nice way.

At least your mother has somebody who can be a "safety net" in her later years....and you have a "safety net," too.

I have been reflecting on this situation and it occurs to me that my mother is to old to be moving. She likes her place and she is settled. So I have decided to get my own place after all. I am going to look at one nearby which is available in July, which would be good, as I plan to finish my course in June.

Yep...my mother is the same way.

Even though she might be better off in Florida, she still wants to stay in New York.

She values her independence.