Child blames me for everything

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My almost 7 years old son blames me for everything and is always moody. I can never do anything right. He will never be pleased. It is depressing.

I was this same way as a child, and still kind of am as an adult. (So maybe it really is all my fault). I don't know that anyone could have fixed me when I was young, so I don't have much hope for him either.

As soon as he gets up in the morning, we argue and often yell. The routine is exactly the same everyday but I still have to push him along to get ready. He tried a new cereal this morning and I could tell he liked it but pretended not to and refused to eat it. Why? To either irritate me or just to be contrary in general.

Everything always has to be done to his specifications and even then it's not right. I guess I'm just venting here a little, but does anyone else deal with this?

We have issues getting our son to take personal responsibility, but I will say that it has improved a lot over time. It was pretty bad at your son's age, though. We always make sure to explain when something is bad luck, an accident, his choice/fault; and also make sure we take responsibility for when something is our fault so he can see it is not a terrible thing to admit.

I think this is an offshoot of perfectionism because having to be perfect means nothing can be your fault or you are not perfect. I don't think (in our case anyway) it is because of low self-esteem or anything like that. So working on this is part of our general effort to discourage perfectionism, and to let our son know that people make mistakes, and it is OK. I think maturity is a big part of it, and they really have to be ready to accept that message.

Thanks for your reply. This is my eldest child so I'm not always sure when he should be doing certain things. His therapist says he's immature for his age.

I'll try to get back to this post but here's for starters.

If he has a hard time understanding people and being understood this can present as oppositional defiant disorder (O.D.D.). If you are the person he interacts with the most you will nataurally be the focus of his frustration.

I'm not trained in this but I have done extensive reading. Middle kid Dx aspergers. Mom (deceased) likely had Aspergers. I have realized I may have aspergers. My daughter may have aspergers, who is as o.d.d. as they come.

Hang in there. Be patient. Keep asking for advice, professional and otherwise. Never stop loving your child.

sounds of silence is me...

forgot to switch accounts on cell phone...

sos72 is much easier to log in with...

In the moment we often forget the fact that there is a reason for every action displayed. As a parent is can be difficult because often times our children learn these behaviors from us. As a parent myself I have seen first hand haw my behaviors have influenced my kids behaviors; for the good and the BAD. I would suggest trying to get to know and understand some of the root causes for the types of interactions you describe with your son. I think some of the answers you are looking for are there. If you need the pros...I would suggest ABA Therapy. It takes a while, but it helps!! !

As odd as this may sound, I would also suggest reading a book called "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman I know this book is marketed towards adult relationships...BUT... there is a lot that can be learned and applied to parent/child relationships as well. After all, love is love, and understanding how we express it and receive it can be very helpful as parents. Kind Regards Shark