Starting a new job next week. Anxious based on past experien

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Hello,

This is my first post here and hoping for some words of encouragement.

To give some context, I'm 31 and was diagnosed last year with Asperger's. I have always struggled socially because I don't know how to join conversations without talking excessively about things that interest me or people misinterpreting a nice gesture and taking offence.

This has been a huge issue work wise, I've had many jobs in different sectors because it always ends the same way - coworkers not liking me or thinking I'm stupid and it creates so much negativity that I end up remaining pretty mute until leaving for another job.

In 2015 I gained employment at the BBC, which was a dream come true as I got to interact with film and television stars everyday and movies are a massive obsession of mine so I was in my element.

I wanted that job to be the exception, to be the one that I could flourish in and so I examined why my past jobs had gone wrong and made extra effort to get on with everyone there, going out of my comfort zone to appear normal and friendly and to chat to all of my coworkers in what I hoped would be the norm of what they would expect.

But even that wasn't good enough, the actors I spent time with had no problem with me but yet again coworkers didn't like me - they would chat to me but then behind my back say I was weird.

Granted, my diagnosis came after I was fired but they knew full well whilst I was there that I suffer from health problems including insomnia.

So anyway, I was diagnosed and a vacancy appeared for the exact position I had held there due to others leaving so I spoke with them, explained my diagnosis and asked if I could come back - their response was that my diagnosis came after I was let go therefore it has no effect on me being fired - I tried to explain that I still had Asperger's at the time irrespective of not having a diagnosis but they didn't care.

After that I hit breaking point. My social anxiety tripled because I felt that even my best wasn't good enough and I'll never be accepted anywhere. It has gotten so bad that I don't like leaving the house now if I can help it.

I have been accepted for a new job but I'm terrified of the same happening again and don't know whether to take the chance or just keep away until I regain confidence.

I did inform them in the interview of my Asperger's but whether that will alter how coworkers treat me or not is unknown.

I am desperate to work but can't retain a job due to others not being accepting of me. I'm also a pushover, people are quick enough to point out my mistakes but when they make a mistake I don't pull them up on it as I just want a peaceful time and I'm not good at defending myself.

If anyone has any advice that would be greatly appreciated and I apologise for the length of this post!

I can understand your anxiety, with your bad experience from previous jobs. You're still young and you're still trying to find your place in the workforce. Try comparing yourself to friends and people who know, who is the same age as you: The millenials are struggeling to obtain and keep steady jobs, and we are receiving our fair share of age discrimination from older generations, and they are usually the people who are hiring.

There's a lot of issues to deal with here: Your autism is making it very difficult to keep a job, and in the long run it will look bad on your resume. It is important that you take action now, and try to become a less autistic, higher functioning person. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be yourself, but it means that you may need to make some adjustsments in your attitude and general behaviour. There are a number of ways to do this: Your parents and close friends are important people here. They can give you advice and tell you about the sides of you, that may be a problem.

Another good thing is seeing a therapist or consult some sort of autism expert. There's not a lot of them, and they cost money. A cheaper solution could be joining a support group for autistic people. Try joining the National Autistic Society (I think that's what it's called in the UK) and see if they have any local support group for grown-up, high-functioning aspies. Unless you live in a very small town, there should be one close to you. I was a part of such a group, and it was great because the older aspies would share their experiences with me, and warn if I was doing something "typical autistic" that would cause problems for me.

Another issue to deal with is the general job market: It's damn hard to keep a job these days, and like I just wrote, the young people are suffering because of this. I'm saying this to comfort you: You're far from the only one who is being discriminated, and if you want to do something about it, you could also join a trade union or a left wing political party.

Good luck with your future career!

BTW: It's totally OK to write long posts in here. As long as you're not rambling, and you're not, it's fine

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: There a great self-help book about anxiety and Asperger's syndrom. It's called, well, "Anxiety & Asperger's Syndrome" and it's written by Nick Dubin. Get your paws on it