Assuming is the Worst Thing to Do Towards Anyone

Post Reply New Topic

... Including yourself.

Assumption: I assume that I'll turn into an apple, because I'm wearing a red colored T-shirt, and I'm outside in a bright sunny day. I have been told I'm like a seedling, and so I'll be an apple. I have always dreamed of being one.

Reality: I walk outside, and I'm just a person with a red colored T-shirt. Starring awkwardly at everything like what in the world have I been smoking.

Assumptions are exactly like that if you look too deeply into it. Weird and bizarre trips. Don't fall into those weird and bizarre trips when approaching people. They'll stare at you awkwardly when you do that. Look at the screen, then the window, then the sky, and then the sun (or whatever the weather is outside). That's reality, and not in the brain where all those bizarre assumptions are.

This reminds me of that old saying

When you assume you make an
ASS out of U and ME.

Plenty of times, someone made assumptions about me: age, gender, sex, sexual orientation, race, income. Some of the assumptions were correct and some wrong. Sometimes it was necessary to assume. For example, when I was 25, the truancy police asked what school I went to. Sometimes, it was not necessary to assume. For instance, a former "friend" had the nerve to ask me "are you gay?". His entire demeanor reeked of homophobia. "Are you gay?" is a question and not an assumption, but based on vocal inflection, it kind of sounded like he assumed I was, and would not have believed otherwise.

Having said that, sometimes they are just trying to build rapport. One woman asked where I lived. Told her the city. She looked surprised and said "most Asians live in (other city)". She assumed that I lived in that city. And she was factually incorrect. On the other hand, it did not help or hinder me, that she made the right or wrong assumption.

Maybe, sometimes, assumptions (even factually incorrect ones) serve functional purposes.

In certain instances, it appears more or less necessary, to make decisions based on incomplete evidence.

Nonetheless, the dictionary contains plenty of bad things to do towards someone. Subject to imagination. What is the worst is just someone's opinion. But, the dictionary contains plenty of verbs that sound, (to me only), like they are much worse than assuming.

A former supervisor had the nerve to tell me that when she listened to my phone message (which she told me to make), I was "talking slowly", &, as a result, she assumed that I "couldn't function". But functioning contains many activities, and talking is just one of them. Some people are smooth talkers and can't do much else.

Her assumption showed her implicit attitude, that she knew everything. And that she was so absolutely important and morally innocent. (fine). And, of course, the definition of "talking slowly" is subjective. 10 words per minute? 70 words per minute?

In the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, Axis 5, Global Assessment of Functioning, contains some guidelines as to which benchmarks to use to rate someone. However, those standards are for clinical psychologists, not for certified public accountants, such as that woman. A score of 81-90 indicates absent or minimal symptoms. But even the definition of "minimal symptoms" is subjective.

"Assuming Is The Worst Thing To Do Towards Anyone"?

There were plenty of worse things she could have done toward me instead. She could have run me over with a car. She could have set me on fire. She could have hired someone to rape me.