I'm EXTREMELY Frustrated with Humanity

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First off I want to say that I am developing severe acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I'm actually aware of it. Every time I get in conversation with these idiots (Humans) I feel so far ahead of them in every aspect I almost want to cry. I just hate it. I'm constantly in fights, constantly having issues and arguments and conflicts with people and it's taking a toll. I'm so disgusted by society I literally want to live in isolation.

For the longest time I seem to be the target of everyone (Literally everyone). My friends, parents, teachers, employers, grandparents, siblings, enemies, and I are constantly in conflict. I just don't know what to do anymore. Every single last thing I say is taken WAY out of context. I just don't know how to speak without eliciting physical abuse and punishment, and yelling and screaming and insults from EVERYONE. I'm so damn f*****g tired and sick of these idiots, I Just want to get the f*****g hell out of here but that's not possible without going stir crazy!

It's even worse with politics. God damn, I'm having so many issues and they're all from people. Over the past few years I've come to accept myself as a person, and seek to eliminate the flaws I have that I can improve. I've tried to improve my sympathy with people and I have a great desire to help people in need, and extend my hand out to ANYONE who needs it. Well, apparently people don't like the word ANYONE. I live in a VERY Liberal area and when I defended trump supporters who were being viciously attacked and insulted and tormented by these as*holes they told me to go kill myself. I told them that a Trump supporter is a person with ambitions and lives and intelligence and by saying that they were defeating their point, and then they begin berating me with insults and physical abuse and telling me that I'm a racist and a loser who should leave the US because I'm against freedom of speech and democracy. I don't understand what the hell society this is!? Where the f**k am I? Can I leave, ANYWHERE. I just wish I was mute, cause it seems like talking just gets me into fights with everyone.

On a final note, I no longer have a political affiliation. I just want to f*****g shut my damn mouth but I can't do that when there is severe amounts of injustice out there. I want to free people like me from this damn sh***y system. It's all gone so wrong. What kind of world is this? I guess this is what aspergers is in it's essence, an inability to communicate.

I sometimes want to go ahead and just leave and Expatriate. It's something I dwell on a lot because the political and cultural climate is getting so weird. No one can have honest discourse, they dig to hold onto positions and argue based mostly on appeals to emotion.

Why can you not just accept that people are idiots and just let them revel in their wrongness? I stopped getting mad at this a long time ago after I realised it was only causing problems. Now I'm just apathetic to most people's random crap and try to not react to it because people want a reaction - some of them enjoy the drama. In fact some people enjoy the drama that much they try to lay some bait so you'll react so they can have more drama/attention.

You'll get a high blood pressure if you keep getting angry all the time at every little bit of crap someone says/does/throws at you. I have a legit anger problem, best advice I can give you is put all that anger into some form of exercise rather than sit there stewing in misanthropic hatred. It will take a lot of that stress away.

There's nothing wrong with being a narc unless you can't control it and it makes you do horrid irrational s**t or makes you delve into bad attention seeking for the sake of being lonely.



Just don't give them any ammo and try to stay away from negative topics. I find that if I talk about negative stuff all the time it delves into argumentative territory. Just try to be more passive and positive to avoid the conflicts, like agreeing to disagree. You don't necessarily have to actually agree with someone but you agree anyway cause it's better than having a waste of time argument over it and them ending up not liking you for whatever reason and also you being stressed out over it.



I find that if you talk about politics in general it just ends up making you hate people. This is why I rarely bother with facebook for example - cause I don't wanna know my friends political stances or it'll end up making me not as interested in them if I disagree. I figure if you support something then just talk to people who also support it so you're like at least half way in agreement. People are pretty much set in their ways when it comes to politics so I don't see the point in bickering over it, especially over the Internet to people I don't know.



You just have to learn honestly, you can get like way better but it's a lot of charisma training and understanding of what things mean in general. I figure it's just a case of knowing what to say when/where and to who. Like you have to almost try and predict the outcome to feel safe talking to someone so you can avoid confrontation.

I hope this provided some other perspective in regards to helping you a little. Good luck.

I appreciate the responses. They've all been helpful and I've calmed down significantly since I posted this. I have a bad habit of posting right after I explode. I've taken all your suggestions into account.

Well Wrong Citizen these people seem quite judgemental and you shouldn't have to put up with them doing that with you. What do you want to with those people. Do you want to get the better of them?

Now that I look back it's more of just internal frustration with myself and my poor social skills and recognition of others desires and insecurities that causes me to feel inadequate and inferior which results in a desire to blow up my ego so I feel undefeatable and superior to others, which is simply not true and I have just as many problems as others, if not more. However, in the moment I was unable to recognize that so I felt excessive irritation and rage towards people because I'm constantly in conflict with them. In reality, I feel it is neither my fault nor theirs, but rather a disconnect that is the fault of my genes and environment which makes interpersonal communication difficult on all levels. It's irritation and painful but I've come to accept there is nothing I can do to improve that specific factor, but work around it. I need to manage my "outbursts" because whenever I get angry I lose all control, and I feel like there is a way to deal with that.

All I really wanted was understanding and just behavior from them, but upon realizing how disconnected from them I am I realize that the best thing I can do is apologize for my supposed bad behavior and actually help people directly in the future, rather than just voice what I think is unjust.

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Last edited by Shahunshah on 10 Mar 2017, 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

I understand, and it's fine to let it out on here. This is what the site was intended for, a helping tool for autistic people so no need to feel bad about posting it since in essence the site helped you by giving you an outlet where others can relate more.

I think you're just a bit lonely then really, cause you have the desire to want to fit in but obvs you can't cause autisms making you be the odd duck because of the lack of social understanding/skills, but it's fine yknow you can just find accepting people who don't give a crap what you believe in as long as you're not harming them. This is why I'm always passive though, cause passiveness beats being lonely rather than feeding your ego. I mean you could just feed your ego in other ways rather than putting people down about their opinions even if their opinions/beliefs are absolutely ridiculous.

I'll give you an example, one of my close friends legit believed his dad was a spirit healer cause he fixed the washing machine by putting his hand on it... clearly it was just a silly coincidence and it's ridiculous for me to think he's a spirit healer and my friend is just talking absolute garbage but point is that - it's important for him, the other person, so I'm not gonna crash his parade cause he believes some silly s**t lol. I just entertain myself with it instead. As long as no one is forcing their crap down your throat and saying you HAVE to believe this/that then you can just chill and laugh it off. Which is probably what most people do to you - they don't believe your opinions and are either passive to you or just plain negative cause they don't like being told otherwise.

If people insult you, the better reaction is no reaction because then you're not letting them have their attention. I swear, people get way too weird with argumentative behaviour.

Maybe when you feel yourself getting frustrated just stop everything and go for a quick jog to burn some of that excess energy/frustration off so you can be calm and think more rationally.

Have you ever had a proper friendship with another autistic person similar to you before? They've always been the most fun friendships for me cause we get each other easier. That could perhaps be an idea in regards to helping with the stir crazy thing cause at least they can meet you half way in understanding.

Also you honestly don't have to stay with crappy social skills for the rest of your life, I've seen low functioning people over a number of years turn into mostly high functioning. Just throw yourself into different social scenarios and try to actually understand why people say/do things. Sociology/psychology research helps tons.

The human psyche and it's perceptions and cognitive abilities are just as constrained by evolution as the psyche of a bird, or a cat, or a dog, and as we forgive birds and cats and dogs for their instincts and cognitive limitations, I think we should also forgive humans for such things...after all, we ourselves are bound by much the same. And the irony is, we find the shortcomings of other humans so frustrating due to similar shortcomings in ourselves. But if we accept the human species for what it is, and forgive the human species for what it is, perhaps we free ourselves a little from that which we dislike about it.


That being said, for your own well being, you might want to refrain from engaging in conflicts, and try to find groups of people more similar to yourself.