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ltcvnzl
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Age: 30
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13 Mar 2017, 4:52 pm

and I never get anything in return.


I think this is the saddest point of human relations for me. I always had this idea that when we relate to people we should give some part of us and get something also, so I'm often open to share everything I know and I have. I feel genuinely happy about giving others what I can. I love to bake, so I always take cakes and this kind of stuff to school to give people, I have many books and everyone who wants can borrow it from me. I share my class notes and works.

I start to perceive I don't get the same from others. I don't do things expecting to receive the same, but I just feel drained that I do a lot and don't receive anything. And I feel really sad because people don't even like me back, despite I'm being nice to them.

Also, sometimes I see people profiting to something I teach them and I feel the world is quite unfair because I know a lot of stuff but I don't know how to use them to make money. For example, I teach a girl who studies with me on how to use photoshop and illustrator, and now she is working as a free lancer graphic designer because she knows a lot of people so she get jobs even if she isn't that good... and I never was able to get a job because I don't know how to ad myself, but she could had helped me and teach me but she didn't... There is even another examples like this. I don't feel anything bad personally against her or the people, it's just a general feeling that it isn't fair that doesn't matter if I'm good at something, the fact that I'm not social will always hold me back.



the_phoenix
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16 Mar 2017, 11:21 pm

Sometimes you do have to speak up for yourself and let other people know
what your expectations are from them.
Doing this in a diplomatic, socially acceptable way can be a challenge,
but reciprocation is in fact socially acceptable.

Now there will be some selfish people who never will reciprocate
even if you make your wants and needs known to them ...
at least after you see their reaction to you,
you know you can't expect anything from them
and you can adjust accordingly ...
if you feel like helping them for free while getting nothing back in return
(like, the person is a charity case), okay ...
but if it's somebody taking advantage of you,
you can look for better people to hang around
and quietly leave the self-centered takers behind.

You seem like you have a good, generous heart ...
giving to the poor is a good thing,
giving to people who really don't need your help
but are greedy to just take from you ... is a bad thing.

Also, there are times when you do need to look out for yourself.

Here are three YouTube videos that might help. They may seem a bit similar and repetitive, but each contain good points.







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