Thinking of Dying

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I'm thinking of dying alot. Im sooo exhausted, sometimes I don't know how to fight.

I think a lot about death and it scares me badly. I am getting older and I am alone, never a gf, wife, kids, etc. watching my family getting old fast and I cannot comprehend how time slips by so quickly. I haven't went for a doctor checkup in 15 years because I am scared of them finding something. I work harder than most but achieved far less. I have never been in love or been loved and at 32, the good years where most are active, fun, healthy, are almost gone. Nobody left. I fear death because time is ticking fast and I feel that this life has been a waste for me. So much I want to do and do it with someone, but no time to do what I want and nobody to do it with. I hate thinking about it...