i need help

Post Reply New Topic

im always depressed, i have autism, adhd, all types of anxiety...i want to open my mouth and tell my mom but i cant, thoughts of suicide are always on my mind...my family only knows i have autism, but they dont know about everything else since im always in my room. my room is the only place i can be myself 100%....i just got in trouble in school and they look at me like im just a terrible person. my life is just terrible nobody knows or even bothers to ask what goes through my head. i cry every day in my room. the knife gets so close to my neck i just want to take the next step but i dont. when someone tries to say something like "do your work" or "thats why your failing" i laugh but it really hurts because they dont know whats mentally going on. i hate when people compain about their lives because they have so much that they take for granted that it makes me jealous. the world prob wouldnt even notice if i died. im not gonna talk much anymore. but i do need help because im living on the edge and am about to give up...nobody understands me

The odds of being understood as an Aspie are low, but if you don't tell anyone how you feel, they are zero. One day, I just picked the kindest person I knew, and asked them to listen. Maybe the hardest part of getting understood is people's strong tendency to think that you do things for the same reasons they would have if they did that. A classic "dysfunctional" family will tell you that your feelings are wrong. I'd start with only giving the basics of how you feel, and politely dismiss most guesses about why. Good luck.

Ok I'm going to say two things. Firstly, don't hurt yourself. lt will be painful and slow and if you survive, you will be injured for life. Also, your family is going to have to deal with horrible consequences. I know this sounds cold but it's much better than trying to find an easy way out, because that's not the way out, that's a delusion of the basic order of survival and the reasons humans have suicidal tendencies is because we're almost too intelligent for our own good.

Now to my second point; don't be too hard on yourself. From what I've learned, our minds are built to repair themselves. I recommend you give it some time and eventually we will develop more adequate control over our emotions. I think at the heart of Asperger's and other Autistic spectrum disorders is a failure to develop emotionally as quickly, but we are fine intellectually. Emotions actually play a much larger part in our everyday lives, and if our emotions aren't in check it leads to depression, procrastination, anxiety, fear, anger, distrust, paranoia, etc. I have a lot of the same problems you've mentioned but when I give it time and I understand myself, I can relax a bit. In summary, understanding is the way. Understand yourself the best you can, and learn about the world and the mind as much as possible. Knowledge and clarification can solve MOST problems (Don't get into philosophy unless you know how to adequately deal with that as well, that poses a whole new set of problems).

Never let other people make you feel bad.
You are awesome, they will never know.
Stay strong and do things for yourself.
If you have some money, save it hard, watch it grow. This little sense of achievement will be great. Do other little things that will give you an edge in life.
I taught myself to touch type. It's a small achievement, but it has helped me emensely. You can achieve great things with small goals.
You have abilities no one else has. Become someone great, I know you can. I hope that you too will become strong and believe in yourself too.