Why is the word "loser" thrown around at men by women?

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Snowy Owl
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20 Mar 2017, 11:24 am

I've seen women call guys they don't know "losers" simply because they were unattractive looking, or were introverted/shy or had no friends etc. Even just calling him a loser because he's short in height or looked like a boy even though he's an adult (young looking). This is when women are screening for dates / sex partners... whatever. But they will use it on work colleagues that are not top ranked males (Bosses) as well. Its nothing to do with them looking for a partner/boyfriend. I've seen it. Its happened to me.

These aren't high school girls, but women of 20, 25, 30, 35+, 40+. I cringe at the term 'loser' coming from the mouth of an adult woman. It sounds so juvenile and high-school... so ghetto or Jamaican patois in its nature. What would you think of a grown adult throwing around the term 'loser'?

I've seen women call men losers for simply having a low status job such as a burger van, a factory worker, a car body shop sprayer, a gardner. How nice that somebody earns an honest living and gets called a loser. Somebodies got to do those jobs.

And the icing; when I attended university night course at age 27 there was this handsome guy who was sentenced to 3 years in jail for "rape" of a minor. It was actually all consensual sex with a 12yo girl (he was 21). But still, he was a registered sex offender for life when released. Yet he never struggled to get a date, and with attractive educated women. He even started a family some years later. Surely that man is a loser? I thought women hated sex offenders more than they do any other type of man.

So is it just ugly men of low social rank (poor paying jobs) that are losers?

I find women's selection processes intriguing.

To me a "loser" man is a a high school dropout, illiterate, drug or booze addict and thief, petty criminal, hard, dangerous thug. Can't afford basic rent of a room, preys or picks fights with neighbours and strangers that have done nothing to him, disrespects everybody, a psycho that won't better himself.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Mar 2017, 11:41 am

Consensual sex with a 12 yo?

What?



Alliekit
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20 Mar 2017, 3:34 pm

different people have different views of what is a loser. I would call the guy you talked about a loser but then again I dont use that word. Its so High school. Maybe these women are childish and peaked in high school?



AngelRho
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20 Mar 2017, 3:36 pm

Well... Granted, I'm a male loser... ;-) But I really don't have much use for the term. Winners win. I don't look at life or love as zero-sum. So there aren't really losers out there, rather people who just don't win. Because they don't do anything.

There are people who win and people who stand around hating because they won't do what it takes to win. Haters are the real losers. Beyond that, yeah, you got the usual creeps, perverts, and all-around unintelligent people, and that by no means is an exhaustive list!

Now, everyone wants to better themselves and be more appealing to the opposite sex, so we're not going to play "blame the victim." If you're looking for a date, why are you even considering the type of woman or group of women who say things like that? Simply stay away from those women and surround yourself with nice women more amenable to your personality. It's as simple as that.



hurtloam
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20 Mar 2017, 5:43 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Consensual sex with a 12 yo?

What?


Yeah I think that's legally known as statutory rape.

The age of consent is 16 in the UK. Anyone under 16 cannot give consent by law never mind be emotionally mature enough to make a decision like that.



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20 Mar 2017, 5:49 pm

I think you're taking the word loser too literature. It's just an insult like any other insult. It basically means "I don't like this person and I want to put the down with a insult to show my [supposed] superiority".

Last guy I called a loser wasn't what you have defined as a loser, I was just angry with him and it was nicer saying that than saying "he's a total d!ck".

Which he is and I'm still angry.



AngelRho
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20 Mar 2017, 6:45 pm

Epic fail. Post deleted.



Last edited by AngelRho on 20 Mar 2017, 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Zed90230
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20 Mar 2017, 7:33 pm

As far as I care, it's just pure mean-spiritedness.

Even billionaires can be losers, if they're male. It's impossible for women to be losers, even if they've uterly failed at everything in life.



B19
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20 Mar 2017, 8:28 pm

A 12 year old cannot give legal consent, end of story. Discussion on that (if it were the topic) would belong in the adult section, not in L and D.



AngelRho
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20 Mar 2017, 9:05 pm

B19 wrote:
A 12 year old cannot give legal consent, end of story. Discussion on that (if it were the topic) would belong in the adult section, not in L and D.

My mistake. I'm deleting my post.



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21 Mar 2017, 1:56 am

Thank you AngelRho.



palmtoka
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21 Mar 2017, 9:00 am

Zed90230 wrote:
As far as I care, it's just pure mean-spiritedness.

Even billionaires can be losers, if they're male. It's impossible for women to be losers, even if they've uterly failed at everything in life.


A group of three women can be.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Mar 2017, 10:22 am

hurtloam wrote:
I think you're taking the word loser too literature. It's just an insult like any other insult. It basically means "I don't like this person and I want to put the down with a insult to show my [supposed] superiority".

Last guy I called a loser wasn't what you have defined as a loser, I was just angry with him and it was nicer saying that than saying "he's a total d!ck".

Which he is and I'm still angry.


But it does seem to be is a label thrown by males and females almost exclusively at males in popular culture, the OP is right in this one - it does seem to be a strongly gendered-term.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Mar 2017, 10:26 am

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-the-word-l ... than-women

I always like how Quora active users answer, they're brutely honest and do not deny social facts, even their female users do not deny social fact that may bother some female users here.



palmtoka
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21 Mar 2017, 10:46 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-the-word-loser-more-closely-associated-with-men-Are-men-more-prone-to-being-losers-than-women

I always like how Quora active users answer, they're brutely honest and do not deny social facts, even their female users do not deny social fact that may bother some female users here.


Thank you for the link.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Mar 2017, 5:04 pm

palmtoka wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-the-word-loser-more-closely-associated-with-men-Are-men-more-prone-to-being-losers-than-women

I always like how Quora active users answer, they're brutely honest and do not deny social facts, even their female users do not deny social fact that may bother some female users here.


Thank you for the link.


This post there totally nailed it:

Quote:
Danielle Lan, Technical Writer, Fiction Writer, Gamer, Reader, Driver, Biker, Thinker.
Written May 9, 2015
This comes down to our culture and it's gender roles.

A man should be successful, if he is not, he's a loser. A woman should be pretty, if she is not, she's ugly.

A man should be strong, if not, he's weak (and other insults that imply he is actually a woman). A woman should be nice and compliant, if she's not she's a b***h (and other unsavory insults).

A man should have lots of sex and be good at it, if not, he's not a man. A woman should not have lots of sex, if she does, she's a slut (and other insults implying she's takes money for sex).

You can see the pattern here. Society gives men and women different roles, and associates different insults with those who don't adhere to them. To some, I'm an ugly b***h. You might be an effeminate loser. But only to those people who value and adhere to those gender roles.