I don't have the creep vibe.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2017, 8:30 am

Some male users here claim they may unintentionally give creep/weirdo vibes hence their dating troubles, it seems to be a common aspie problem.

But by observation of the way females interact with me in real life, I am pretty convinced that I don't have this issue:

- Female coworkers seem to be comfortable around me, like coming to my table for a chit chat or for asking some work related stuff or help; even if no one is around.
- Newcomer female coworkers always seem to befriend me first, a senior lady also noticed this and often jokingly commented on it, she always teased me about it.
- Female acquaintances often asked me to escort them in dark alleys, at night times, even if I don't know them so well.
- Facebook friend requests to female new acquaintance/buddies are rarely rejected, .....well at least that means I didn't give a creep first impression (but after that, they're just ghosts who fill my feed, they never initiate contact no matter how many times I did initiate contact with them).


So from these facts, I am pretty confident I don't have the creep vibe problem, so my dating problems seem to be more related to social awkwardness, or I have a missing fundamental ability (as Sabreclaw calls it, the missing x-factor) to be liked more than a mere acquaintance or friend, by women I meet in real life at least, so it's something that cannot be fixed, could it be? :|



Alliekit
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23 Mar 2017, 9:45 am

You give off a more jock vibe to me if you had any vibe to be honest. But then again everyone interprets people differently. I'm suprised you car to be honest.



Last edited by Alliekit on 23 Mar 2017, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Benjamin the Donkey
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23 Mar 2017, 10:08 am

I don't think I do either, and in my younger days I was quite good-looking, so I got a lot of interest and first moves from women (thankfully, since I was incompetent at initiating anything myself!). After a few dates, though, they'd realize I was ... "different"..."weird"... and things would quickly end. The exception was women who had far more serious issues of their own, which sometimes made for real drama.

I'm lucky to be married for the past 10 years to a lovely woman who accepts me for who I am. Very lucky.


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BTDT
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23 Mar 2017, 10:22 am

You don't have the creep vibe because you are short. Short people are less intimidating, which is part of the creep vibe.

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RayCarlsen
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23 Mar 2017, 10:31 am

I totally hear what you're saying and go through the same thing, and I'm pretty sure you're not a creep too.

I think of it by analogy with my own experience. I think how women see me is like how I (straight man) view a male friend. It's nice to have someone to talk to, and do things with, but I don't want to know all his life details. I really don't want him to hug me. And if he initiates flirting or "incidental" touching or whatever it is I'm supposed to do with women, suddenly it becomes really weird. (Source, I sang amateur opera for many years, and have hung out with many gay men.)

That kind of "whoah there cowboy" reaction when a male acquaintance starts acting flirty in a plausibly deniable way, that's what I imagine a woman feels when I try to turn a friendship into a possible romantic connection. It's not even creepy, and I have nothing against the guy, it's just that I have no interest and wish to either avoid or shut down this line of thinking immediately.

The key question, is it possible to learn the skills to charm women long enough to let them see the worthwhile and attractive qualities we do have? Similar to the skills an improv actor or comedian develops? There is a lot of material on this, but none of it is written for someone who is verbally inarticulate and can't make eye contact and still focus on a conversation.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2017, 5:21 pm

Alliekit wrote:
You give off a more jock vibe to me if you had any vibe to be honest. But then again everyone interprets people differently. I'm suprised you car to be honest.



:|



kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2017, 5:23 pm

In case you don't know what a "jock" is: a "jock" is a person who is good at sports.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Mar 2017, 5:32 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In case you don't know what a "jock" is: a "jock" is a person who is good at sports.


I think she was projecting her fantasies onto me. :mrgreen:

Which it's completely inaccurate.



kraftiekortie
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23 Mar 2017, 5:50 pm

In my late teens/early 20's, when I was desperate to "get a girl," I used to give off a "creep vibe." In fact, I was called a creep sometimes LOL

After that period in my life--after I stopped actively trying to "get girls," the "creep vibe" disappeared, never to come back.



Alliekit
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23 Mar 2017, 6:57 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
You give off a more jock vibe to me if you had any vibe to be honest. But then again everyone interprets people differently. I'm suprised you car to be honest.



:|


I mean you have never struck me as someone who cares what others think.

Also I mean like if jock was one end and creep were the other your more on the jock end. Confident in your opinions and get others to agree with you like jocks can



Alliekit
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23 Mar 2017, 6:59 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
In case you don't know what a "jock" is: a "jock" is a person who is good at sports.


I meant in the sense of self confidence. People who get called creeps tend to have low self confidence. Boo just never struck me as someone like that he has too big of a personality.



Sabreclaw
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23 Mar 2017, 10:09 pm

Alliekit wrote:
People who get called creeps tend to have low self confidence.


That seems a bit unfair. Does that make me a creep then?



Chronos
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23 Mar 2017, 11:01 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Some male users here claim they may unintentionally give creep/weirdo vibes hence their dating troubles, it seems to be a common aspie problem.

But by observation of the way females interact with me in real life, I am pretty convinced that I don't have this issue:

- Female coworkers seem to be comfortable around me, like coming to my table for a chit chat or for asking some work related stuff or help; even if no one is around.
- Newcomer female coworkers always seem to befriend me first, a senior lady also noticed this and often jokingly commented on it, she always teased me about it.
- Female acquaintances often asked me to escort them in dark alleys, at night times, even if I don't know them so well.
- Facebook friend requests to female new acquaintance/buddies are rarely rejected, .....well at least that means I didn't give a creep first impression (but after that, they're just ghosts who fill my feed, they never initiate contact no matter how many times I did initiate contact with them).


So from these facts, I am pretty confident I don't have the creep vibe problem, so my dating problems seem to be more related to social awkwardness, or I have a missing fundamental ability (as Sabreclaw calls it, the missing x-factor) to be liked more than a mere acquaintance or friend, by women I meet in real life at least, so it's something that cannot be fixed, could it be? :|


I have a creep vibe and I am missing the x-factor.



Alliekit
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24 Mar 2017, 1:24 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
People who get called creeps tend to have low self confidence.


That seems a bit unfair. Does that make me a creep then?


Wait let me rephrase not everyone with low self cofidence gets called creep. those labelled creeps tend to have low self confidence does that make sense? (I'm not saying people are creeps just who stupid women tend to label as such)

Also I would actually never thing of someone as a creep it's a word people use when they don't like the persons approach and I think is unfairly used



The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Mar 2017, 3:00 am

Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Some male users here claim they may unintentionally give creep/weirdo vibes hence their dating troubles, it seems to be a common aspie problem.

But by observation of the way females interact with me in real life, I am pretty convinced that I don't have this issue:

- Female coworkers seem to be comfortable around me, like coming to my table for a chit chat or for asking some work related stuff or help; even if no one is around.
- Newcomer female coworkers always seem to befriend me first, a senior lady also noticed this and often jokingly commented on it, she always teased me about it.
- Female acquaintances often asked me to escort them in dark alleys, at night times, even if I don't know them so well.
- Facebook friend requests to female new acquaintance/buddies are rarely rejected, .....well at least that means I didn't give a creep first impression (but after that, they're just ghosts who fill my feed, they never initiate contact no matter how many times I did initiate contact with them).


So from these facts, I am pretty confident I don't have the creep vibe problem, so my dating problems seem to be more related to social awkwardness, or I have a missing fundamental ability (as Sabreclaw calls it, the missing x-factor) to be liked more than a mere acquaintance or friend, by women I meet in real life at least, so it's something that cannot be fixed, could it be? :|


I have a creep vibe and I am missing the x-factor.



How do you know?



kraftiekortie
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24 Mar 2017, 6:15 am

Chronos is no creep. She's quite intelligent.

In the US, a jock is a guy who is into sports, and tends to dress in athletic clothes.

Interesting extension of the definition of the word "jock."