So I'm sat at the bay instead of being in my accouting lecture. Which out of all my classes is ironically my favourite. Great teacher, easy subject and I'm actually pretty good at it. Just everything else is too much. I'm failing Japanese, no one seems to reciprate my feelings towards them and I'm sick of feeling lonely. Not only that my ex isn't helping out with childcare at all, so its all falling on me and to be quite frank I've just given up. As much as I try to be optomistic something else comes along and knocks me down. I can't do a Masters in the subject i want as I won't get enough of the right business modules to do so. I probably won't get a job at the end of it and its very clear if i want to date someone it will have to be someone I'm not really interested in. So why should I bother. The bay is looking so cold and wet, considering that I'm sick at the moment and I have a weakened immune system for as long as I can remember, it hopefully won't take long until hyothermia kicks in as even if I go into the bay I have the inability to sink and just float. Maybe a boat will knock me out and not notice me. It is possible as I swear I'm invisaible since I'm constantly having car trying to run me over on a zebra crossing lately.
24 Mar 2017, 4:40 am
