How people with autism describe themselves on online dating

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onlinedatingresearcher
Emu Egg
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24 Mar 2017, 11:01 am

Hi,

I am conducting research how people with autism describe themselves on online dating sites. If you are someone who’s over the age of 18 years old, male and consider yourself to have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) then you are invited to take part in this research study.

The study will contain a study which will ask you some questions about relationships and online dating. The findings from this study will help to create a resource that will help guide people with autism how to write and optimise their online dating profiles.
If you identify as an autistic male and wish to participate, please follow this link: https://bathpsychology.eu.qualtrics.com ... cjGyCTAxJb. This study is being conducted by a Masters student at the University of Bath.



FeardyBase
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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24 Mar 2017, 11:32 am

I've described myself many ways:
Positively,
Humorously,
Deprecatingly,
Accurately,
Less Accurately.

With I might add identical results in just about all cases, some contacts from users of the site involved, and many contacts to them.
In all cases there have been absolutely no dates.
Women on online dating sites do not join in order to meet people, they join in order to have their ego tickled by *being asked to* meet people. A few less scrupulous of them take this as far as agreeing to meet, however don't be fooled, they won't show up. Untruthfulness in such matters is issued with the second X chromosome.

*Now* I describe myself as having completely given up - don't contact me.
This arrangement has reduced my stress levels massively.. and made no difference whatsoever to the number of dates forthcoming over an extended period.



Keigan
Pileated woodpecker
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24 Mar 2017, 12:27 pm

Describe yourself as a jerk, true or not, and you'll receive all kinds of responses from the Females.



FeardyBase
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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24 Mar 2017, 12:45 pm

Just how would you know that that isn't exactly the description that "Accurately" would contain?

More seriously, online dating doesn't work, it's a total waste of mental energy.
I don't bemoan lack of responses, I got plenty.
Or even the lack of positive initial responses, a reasonable proportion were.
It's the lack of *honest* positive responses that I take issue with.

Women on those sites don't go on them to date, any male thinking they do will be swiftly disabused of the notion.
It's the single fastest and most effective method I know to destroy any confidence or self-esteem I may have built up before trying.



JaredGTALover
Toucan
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24 Mar 2017, 12:52 pm

as an aspie,i can be humorous & sarcastic,but not like Deadpool



Sweetleaf
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24 Mar 2017, 3:36 pm

FeardyBase wrote:
I've described myself many ways:
Positively,
Humorously,
Deprecatingly,
Accurately,
Less Accurately.

With I might add identical results in just about all cases, some contacts from users of the site involved, and many contacts to them.
In all cases there have been absolutely no dates.
Women on online dating sites do not join in order to meet people, they join in order to have their ego tickled by *being asked to* meet people. A few less scrupulous of them take this as far as agreeing to meet, however don't be fooled, they won't show up. Untruthfulness in such matters is issued with the second X chromosome.

*Now* I describe myself as having completely given up - don't contact me.
This arrangement has reduced my stress levels massively.. and made no difference whatsoever to the number of dates forthcoming over an extended period.



Why leave the profile up if it just says for no one to contact you?...Also I used dating sites to meet guys to potentially form relationships with, and am female I doubt I am the only person of the female gender who's used it for that purpose as opposed to having ego tickled....but who knows could be wrong, but I doubt I am that unique in that sense.


_________________
We won't go back.


FeardyBase
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 24 Mar 2017
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Location: UK

24 Mar 2017, 4:04 pm

You're certainly "atypical", witness the fact you're here, also you're not from the UK, from online conversations I've had, it would appear more women use such sites for their stated purpose in other English speaking nations than do here.

Why leave the profile up? Because, in common with a social networking site I could name, it turns out removing or deleting your profile is to say the least "problematic", so rather than resort to threats of legal action, I simply edited it, which also leaves the option open to edit again, should I have a change of heart and wish to try again. Though that's doubtful, as I now have additional problems, unrelated to the ASD, which render negotiating a date much more complex and less likely to result in a favourable response.



slw1990
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24 Mar 2017, 10:30 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
FeardyBase wrote:
I've described myself many ways:
Positively,
Humorously,
Deprecatingly,
Accurately,
Less Accurately.

With I might add identical results in just about all cases, some contacts from users of the site involved, and many contacts to them.
In all cases there have been absolutely no dates.
Women on online dating sites do not join in order to meet people, they join in order to have their ego tickled by *being asked to* meet people. A few less scrupulous of them take this as far as agreeing to meet, however don't be fooled, they won't show up. Untruthfulness in such matters is issued with the second X chromosome.

*Now* I describe myself as having completely given up - don't contact me.
This arrangement has reduced my stress levels massively.. and made no difference whatsoever to the number of dates forthcoming over an extended period.



Why leave the profile up if it just says for no one to contact you?...Also I used dating sites to meet guys to potentially form relationships with, and am female I doubt I am the only person of the female gender who's used it for that purpose as opposed to having ego tickled....but who knows could be wrong, but I doubt I am that unique in that sense.


I agree. I would rather meet someone I could be in a relationship than just get an ego boost.



FeardyBase
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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25 Mar 2017, 5:20 am

Maybe it's a generation thing, you're both young enough to be my daughters and thus from my perspective "girls" rather than "women" (for the purposes of dating).. consequently you wouldn't have been approached to form part of my experience. Maybe younger folks use such sites for the intended purpose, I'm too old to research that, I'd be refused by reason of age difference in such a case, would need younger guys to answer that one from their experience.



rdos
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25 Mar 2017, 6:43 am

From experimenting with it on OkC, I think it can work if you have unusual preferences and dare to express them. If you are just "mainstream", and want something typical, I think the chances of success are very low.