I want a girlfriend but not friends

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It's not impossible, but as stated prior, one thing women primarily look at in a potential partner is their social network. Only a select few women would consider dating a social "outcast" (not trying to use that offensively here), much less actually date one.

Also, let me share with you an unpopular opinion of mine: the best romantic relationships start out as friendships.

My dad actually had achieve this with my mom so its possible and he is a total nerd (my mom is not)

I have a very small number (count them on one hand!) of close friends who really "get" me, and that's enough. (Unfortunately, they're scattered around the world, and I'm terrible at keeping in touch online.) It took a long time for my NT wife to understand that I don't need a big circle of more casual friends and an even bigger circle of acquaintances like she has. But we've been together for 12 years, so these things can work. But honestly, I'd say it might be easier to try to make things work with someone who's a bit of an eccentric loner herself. If there'd been an AS diagnosis when I was much younger (I'm 53 now), I might have understood myself better and focused on girls who were more like me.

@ OP: A relationship will come your way. Don't rush it because you must be patient.

All I can say is that I was/am exactly the same way: I hate groups, I'm not comfortable socializing (though I've learned to do it with practice -at least my way). One day 11 years ago, I walked into Sharper Image (specifically to buy a Rubik's Cube -how Aspie is THAT!) and the person who helped me was a very beautiful, very sociable young woman. I thought I should ask her out, but of course I immediately came up with 101 reasons why it wasn't a good idea. Then, I realized I had a choice: I could continue being by my miserable self, or I could grow a pair and do something different for a change. Like it or not, that meant I would have to be social. I went back to the store just to ask this woman out, knowing full well she probably got hit on 10 times I day -I mean, she was really a hottie! But I have seen many couples that didn't make sense, i.e., "She's with THAT guy? What could she see in him?" Well, I decided it was my turn to be THAT guy. Long story short, that hottie is now my wife of seven years and we have a beautiful daughter. We are clearly different people in that she is VERY sociable and I am not. (It's her biggest complaint about me.) But we found common ground and learned to make it work. (Incidentally, the best man at my wedding met his wife while going through a toll booth! Don't put any unreasonable expectations on dating -forget what the NT world thinks or says and just go with the flow.)

The point is, don't let your Aspergers control you; you control your Aspergers. Instead of being all creepy and awkward around women, try just being honest and be you, most importantly. (We Aspies have got the honesty thing down to a science!) You also must learn this in baby steps. First, find someway to "practice" basic social interaction: each time you go to a store, promise yourself you are going to find at least one thing to make small talk about with the clerk -just one: the weather, how busy or not the store is, what a great sale they have. It doesn't matter if the clerk is a man or woman or whether you like them or not -that's not the point. That will help you build confidence in not being creepy or awkward. You might need a lot of practice. When you do meet a woman you like, it's really just the same thing. But don't immediately start thinking, "She's the one! We'll get married and move to the countryside." Nope -she just another clerk, dude! Don't put any expectations on it other than seeing how long you can hang in there -just like a video game. When it starts to get uncomfortable, say you have an appointment or something and make a graceful exit before you blow it up. Little by little, you will start to get "game". When you finally have that part down, take it to the next level in asking for a date. "Hey, I like talking with you. Maybe we could get a cup of coffee or something sometime." Keep it real simple. On that date toward the end, you can say something like, "I like hanging out with you. It feels comfortable. I usually just prefer to do my own thing, but this is really nice." Now, you've done two things: you've given her a clue about your comfort level with people without being all "scientific", possibly leading to further discussion, and you've also made her feel good about herself. Home run!

I'm no expert in dating - I'm an Aspie, too. But I've learned the art that is dating through these baby steps and somehow, I ended up with a hot looking wife. ME, of all people! I really am just like you as far as being social -I'd rather drive tacks into my fingers with a nail gun! But people in general don't change until our circumstances become uncomfortable enough to force us to. I suspect that's what will happen to you: you'll either accept and adapt to just being alone, or you'll become so unhappy being alone that you'll figure out how to be just social enough to meet someone. Don't run from it; embrace it. And don't ever, EVER think someone is out of your league! You will probably get shot down 99 times out of a hundred before you find someone. But I'm here to tell you: there is no league, only humanity. I don't agree with trying to find someone just like you -you limit your possibilities because most people aren't like us. Instead, find someone who appreciates you for you and doesn't want to change you. Be good to yourself.

Thanks for all your replies everyone.

Don't overlook "networking" thru family members. In my case, after my first marriage dissolved, I realized that an aunt who lived near me worked at a local hospital and no doubt worked with at least a few women who were single and willing to date. So the next time I saw my aunt I asked her about it and she said, "Hmmm...Let me see what I can do." Well, soon she got back to me with a name and a phone number. I called this woman and long story short, we met, dated for about a year, moved in together and eventually got married. All this happened in the early 1980s and we are still married today, having had a good life together.

So moral of this story is it never hurts to let those close to you know what you are looking for.