New aspie here, need advice

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I just typed a huge paragraph, and the page refreshed and it all erased. Woo, here I go again. Ill make this one a little more to the point.

I've always known I was different, and until about a week ago I thought I was the only one. Learning about Asperger's has proven me wrong. Especially by the amount of posts that sound exactly like mine.

My girlfriends dad has Asperger's, and about a week ago she mentioned in the nicest way possible that I may have Asperger's too. I was slightly offended, but I googled it and a tear fell down my face and I haven't cried in a good year.

For the past year I've been obsessed with thinking I was a sociopath because of my lack of empathy, and ability to display emotions. You could place me on a giant cheese grater and move me up and down and I couldn't talk about my feelings. I found out this couldn't be the case when I tried to steal 5 bucks from my dad's wallet, only to put it back approximately 2 minutes later.

My next obsession was the Meyers-Briggs test, I scored INTP, and I thought this was why I was different. I'm socially awkward because I'm an introvert, and that's why I can't deal with emotion.. But something was just always missing.

When my girlfriend mentioned Asperger's, I took the Aspie Test online (pretty sure that's what it's called, the one with the graph) and scored a 170/200, took it again because I was in disbelief, scored the same thing again.

It all started to make sense.

There's a reason why:
Every time my girlfriend talks about feelings I turn into a mine.

I have a really low sex drive, and find myself telling my girlfriend I'm not in the mood when she tries. This has actually been a big problem in my relationship.

I dont know how to comfort my girlfriend when she cries, I get frustrated, she can sense it and it makes her cry more.

I get nervous to talk to my family members I haven't seen in a while, and I have known them my whole life.

I hate anything with a sauce on it, I hate lotion, and I hate when my clothes tough me, and I can't stand collered shirts. Also if there is even a slight bad smell I'm gagging.

And the list goes on,
I don't know if this is an aspie thing, but I also have an incredibly bad temper, and find myself throwing and breaking things, and saying things I don't mean to my girlfriend when I'm angry. It's usually when she is saying I'm wrong when I know I'm right, or we are talking about feelings and I get aggravated.

I could go on and on, but this is what I need advice with. My mother.

After reading up on Asperger's and feeling slightly relieved, a little demeaned.. I decided to tell my mom I suspect I have this. She started hysterically laughing, and saying, "You're not on the spectrum" through laughter. She went on to say, "I'm having a conversation with you right now and you're coherent, you don't have autism" I told her I honestly thought I did, and that it wasn't what she thought it was. I told her that everything I've read hit home, and she continued to be hysterical and say that there are a million other things I could be, but none are Asperger's. She went on to say I'm just bipolar and anti social, and to stop obsessing over things like I always do.. (Which should be a huge hint for her) She made me feel stupid.. Talking about the spectrum and laughing like I'm stupid. What she doesn't understand is I believe my dad has Asperger's as well, we are almost identical. He has anger issues as well, and problems with being too honest with my mom, not saying I love you, and not being affectionate.

I want my mom to consider that I really might have this, and my dad as well. If she would look into Asperger's it could fix their marriage. They fight constantly, because he isn't affectionate enough, and she claims he doesn't love her, or care. If she only knew but she won't listen. She makes me feel stupid, and I don't know how to make her see. Do you guys think I should give up, and just focus on my girlfriend who supports me and this disorder.. Or try and convince her..

I don't know about mentioning the dad thing, but I believe if she believes I have it, she will research and figure it out in her own. I just don't know that she will ever believe me.. When I really do believe this is who I am..

What you could do (if you feel it's necessary) is try to get an official diagnosis for yourself, or at least mention your concerns to your family doctor.

You obviously relate well enough to Aspergers to at least put yourself in the ballpark barring an official diagnosis.

And I'd say focus on you and your relationship with your gf.

Fixing people, especially parents, is usually an exercise in futility. They know how to get marriage counseling if they really want it.

A bad temper is not an autistic trait although autism can help to cause it.

Your parents are partially wrong, Many Autistics can and do have coherent conversations but they are right in that many conditions have similar traits to autism so it could be something else.

I can not diagnose you based on one post. I also realize a lot of information you put in your first post was wiped away and not reposted. The online tests are at best an indicator. Your score does not mean you are on the spectrum but is an indicator that you should continue to look into Aspergers.

Are these traits impairing you life in a significant way? If they are you need to see a proffessional about it. If not and you just want an explanation thoroughly research Autism specifically repetitive behavoirs and obsessions in Autism and Sensory Processing disorder. Sensory Processing disorder as a stand alone condition certainly can be impairing and cause social problems.

Keep us posted

WP is crash-prone. Compose elsewhere and paste anything that takes much time.
Welcome. Having AS is no phrophylactic against other mental conditions, but dealing with it can exacerbate other problems. It also has a large effect on treatment options, because the AS has to be worked with, not cured. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to diagnose anyone with more than one major condition. I'm glad you still have people in your life to work with. Things usually get easier to manage as you make more sense of them.

For some parents admitting that their child has Autism can be very tough as they can see it as a personal failing or somehow their fault. Her ridiculing you is a defense mechanism.

That could be very true. Also as a baby boomer we grew up with now antiquated notions of autism and beliefs you have to tough it out and not burden other people with your problems.

Both factors could be interchangeable.

First, welcome to Wrong Planet! Second, I completed the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) screening test three times before realizing there might be something to it. Each time I completed the test, I tried to answer more accurately than the last time, and my scores increased.

Your score of 170 is within the range for likely being diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorder.

But, many individuals simply want to know about themselves as autistic. So, screening tests work well in gaining some knowledge about themselves. Others want or need educational, governmental and professional benefits to help support them in improving their abilities. In that case, some individuals pursue a diagnosis.

Good luck with whatever your choices are.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I was re-diagnosed with AS when I was 13, but was diagnosed with "regular" Autism when I was 4 because I was an early bloomer.

Your description of how your parents and your girlfriend reacted to the idea of you having AS is them being in denial of the reality of AS {in regards to your parents} and in comparison to your girlfriend, expressing a closed-minded refusal to understand.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

This site welcomes all people- diagnosed, undiagnosed, self diagnosed and non-autistic! And everyone inbetween.

What are your specific issues? Do you have any problems un-autism related? What were your symptoms as a child.

Your mothers reaction isnt uncommon. I bet if i said the same thing to my dad 8 years ago he would have said the same thing! But i never even knew anything about autism until after my diagnoses. Trust me, the reaction changed when theyre told by a professional.

The diagnoses can be very liberating for people who have gone undiagnosed and living life questioning themselfs. However its always good to keep a clear mind, there are a lot of disorders similar to autism that may better fit your experiences which is why its important to see a psychologist for a accurate and helpful diagnoses.

Dont be shy to ask anything here,