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ltcvnzl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,311
Location: brazil

29 Mar 2017, 8:14 pm

I'm not very popular among people who have contact with me, specially ones who are around my age, like colleagues at school or basically people who are supposed to create a bond and became friends.

But often strangers who I have short interaction (like vendors mostly I guess) often are very nice to me (sometimes nicer than they are to other people, actually). I have travelled to some places where people are known as being rude or dry and I actually never had a bad experience, everyone I had just a short contact was good to me. People often complains about my university cafeteria staff but everyone there is very friendly to me. Today I went to buy ice cream where the place I regularly go but I haven't went in a while and it's always a crowded place but the girl remembered me and asked why I hadn't went for a while and she even gave me an extra ball.

Why it happens? Maybe I'm just annoying to people on my age or if we have longer contact?

Does someone experience something similar?



wilt20000
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 29 Mar 2017
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 10

01 May 2017, 9:55 pm

I have personally found that I have a better relationship with strangers than I do with many people I know. Whether it's giving gas money to the cashier at a gas station, talking to someone in line at an amusement park or just asking for directions in the store, interactions with strangers seem much more natural.

One example I have was when I was staying at a resort in Florida a couple years ago with my cousin (who is my age and NT). I remember going to the pool with my cousin only to find that I was much more interactive with the people hanging out in the pool/bar area which really got my attention. Here I am, extremely introverted and never talks to anybody in social situations having significantly more and better interaction than my cousin who had lots of friends and fits in very nicely in society. It puzzled me a bit. Now that I think back on it, it makes sense to me. There is no pressure to fit in with people who are doing their own thing. Plus they don't know me. They don't know that I'm shy, reserved, and ultimately on the autistic spectrum. I can make a first impression without having to make second and third impressions. With that being said, school is a lot different but still makes a related point. Being a college student having different classes each semester, I don't really know anybody in my classes. So on the first day of each semester, I always have a fresh start with everybody. And although I hate public speaking (so talking in front of the whole classroom is limited), I can mingle a bit with classmates that I've just met. I can make a decent first impression. The problem lies next time I'm in class. What am I supposed to do to keep the people I met interested. What am I supposed to say, and how do I do things in socially appropriate manners? There's only so much general information you can get from a single person before it's just bumbarding them with questions. At some point, you're supposed to have developed some kind of relationship with that person, but the more I see that person, the weirder I get. I stop knowing what to say. I start talking in fragments (or not at all) and it all goes to the dumps.

Hopefully that makes sense. Do you feel any similar? Like, at what point does your 'relationship' with a stranger turn them into not a stranger, and when do things get awkward?



aloofdeer
Raven
Raven

Joined: 19 Mar 2016
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 111

04 May 2017, 8:00 am

It's very weird. Everyone seems to completely love me or hate me. Most strangers I meet say i'm very polite but at the same time some say I am very rude. It's a mixed bag on how I feel that day I guess.