Do you accept the "CBT" theory?

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Last time she told me she has no idea how to speak with me and that's apparently all my fault because I don't trust her from the start. Well, I didn't trust her from the start but after she said "I know what I am doing because I am a specialist, I deal with autistic kids all the time and I cure them from sensory issues and teach them how to deal with people so I will help you too, trust me." I decided to give her a chance. But she isn't doing much progress. And she still jumps to conclusions and says some weird stuff.

For example last time she gave me a lecture about how we should listen to other people because thats how we learn and even internet and books are nothing but other people opinion. using a lot of rewording. It lead to this dialog:
- I lived for 28 years, I know that by now. You are speaking the obvious. But it doesn't mean everyones opinion is worth listening, especially if they are using too many words to explain something simple.
- I don't know what you know and what you don't. That's why I am saying it. You need to consider how what you do and say is going to make another person feel. I have a lot of patience - I really do, I am a therapist after all - but you are making me feel hurt.
- If I were to consider everyone feelings before I say anything I would develop social phobia a long time ago.
- You need to learn this. That's why we are here. You won't get any friends if you stay this way.
- Actually people started to like me more after I stopped caring if I won't accidentally hurt someone feelings. And it's easier to interact with people this way. They don't bully me anymore.
- They are just not telling you this because they are strangers. I am a therapist so I am telling you this.
- I even asked a group leader in private after the meeting if I didn't go overboard . He said it's good thing that I am not afraid to speak out. (I am attending some Christian group meetings in my city despite being an agnostic because I decided I need to met some new people and stop staying at home all week long)
- Because people won't tell the truth. They... <some long, nagging, rewording monologue about social norms begins>
- <looks around the room, begins stimming with foot around the edge of the table>
- Stop making faces at me.<nagging continues>
- <stares at own stimming foot, left and right, right and left around the table edge, waiting for the lecture to end, rubbing eye>
- You really need to stop showing how bored you are when people speak to you. It's impolite. <nagging continues>
- <keeps stimming, thoughts go around "How do I make the monologue stop? Parents taught me not to interrupt people and she is saying I can't even make faces or show boredom to let her know I want it to stop. What else can I do?" but I can't say anything because there is no stopping of her monologue long enough for me to say anything>
- <some question>
- <shutdown state, keeps stimming>
- <another question>
- <shutdown state, keeps stimming>
It took quite a few minutes before I were able to speak again, classical shutdown: https://autismawarenesscentre.com/shutd ... ss-autism/

I am thinking about looking for another therapist but she is the only "autism specialist" in my area and I am apparently "not allowed" to take therapy with depression or anxiety specialists.

ack, I'm sorry you had to go through that. That sounds like a horrible therapist.

Sure, when you read things on the internet, they're written by people and so when we interact here, this is technically "Interacting with people" but it isn't the pressure of real time communication. I'm not autistic but sometimes i have a hard time focusing on what other people are saying AND the ambient sensory environment around me. if there's a lot going on I usually miss big parts of the conversation because I can't deal with all the noise. so the internet lets me have enough time to really consider the words and not be distracted by all the sounds.

I also hate when health professionals act like they're entitled to your trust. It doesn't matter what letters are after your name or what your title is--that isn't a guarantee that your clients have to respect you. It is their job as a therapist to establish rapport and built trust with you. You shouldn't be shamed for not trusting enough. And therapy should be a safe space where you can be yourself--not be shamed for stimming... she doesnt sound like a person centered therapist at all

It's useful up to a point. After a certain point, though-- The thoughts that depress me (and I think a lot of us) aren't irrational at all. Pretending that they are is a pink fluffy lie. It is PAINFUL and INVALIDATING for me to have people tell me that I'm not weird, I don't have any issues with being misunderstood, I don't have to go through this exhausting process of being constantly careful to "communicate correctly" (cognitively compensate for the social deficits of autism, in psycho-babble speak). It's a nice IDEA, but it isn't TRUE, and being told that it is so just raises my anxiety level and makes me feel very, very alone.

I think there is a lot of variance. It depends on the therapist, and it depends on your illness. Some of these experiences are pretty awful, I am saddened this is how some therapists have decided to utilize CBT.

It really depends on the roots of the problem whether or not CBT is appropriate. Its useful for some things and not useful for others. Its not the right fit for everything and everyone, just like any other treatment. Definitely bail if it makes you feel worse instead of better.

I've had horrible reactions to CBT. It always makes me feel like like s**t because I feel like I'm lying to myself, or panicky because I feel like the therapist is trying to brainwash me. The last therapist who did CBT on me didn't even tell me that's what she was doing, but I definitely felt like she was trying to brainwash me. She kept trying to convince me that deeply held beliefs, stuff involving morals, common decency, and how considerate people should behave were irrational. My depression was always worse after talking to her, and sessions would often end in stressful arguments.

There were times when there would be discrepancies between what I would remember her saying in previous sessions and what she would tell me she said in a previous session. So then I felt like I couldn't trust my memory or her memory and I wanted to record sessions so I could refer back to them later if need be. Then she said it was against the law to record the sessions unless both parties consented and she wasn't allowed to consent by company policy and basically threatened me with a lawsuit if I tried to record my own therapy sessions. It wasn't long after this that I decided that I couldn't stand to see this woman one more time, but it turned out she was leaving the practice anyway, so ditching her had absolutely no effect on her.

Sometimes I wonder if CBT could be helpful for me if I had the right therapist that was willing to customize the treatment to my needs, but honestly I'm probably too scarred by past experiences to ever try it again. The fact of the matter is that there's a lot of bad stuff going on in my life that isn't going to go away just by trying to think positively and it's not going to help against reactions to sensory stuff.

We need to see both sides of this.

Distorted thoughts are real, but they are caused by bad feelings... depression, caused by our surroundings (which are often negative, even if just at a cellular level in one's brain).

I have experienced various different approaches in therapy, it was quite clear in a short space of time during my previous sessions that CBT by itself is never going to remedy much for me. I was quite resistant to it. I was also told by my gp a few months ago when seeking further therapy that straightforward CBT is not a viable option for me as a confirmed autistic client which was not the case during the previous years i undetook therapy.